To all of you movie lovers, it may have reached your ears that the movie Fifty Shades of Grey hits the cinema today. Just in time for Valentine. Well, let’s see if the movie is worth your while.
Having read one of the books in the trilogy out of boredom (that’s my story and I’m sticking to it), I can confidently defend why I gave this post such a title. The book was pointless. And it made me sick to my stomach. There was almost no storyline except the endless sex pages. Like every 2 pages had a form of sexual content. So, here are 7 things to help you decide if Zero Shades of Sense is worth it.
- It promotes masochism. Women should be treated as queens by men and not cheap toys you see in an abandoned warehouse. I think masochism should be a psychological disorder.
- I haven’t seen a single positive review about the movie. That should speak volumes of it’s Hollywood reputation.
- It’s not fun enough to be watched over popcorn and drinks with friends and it’s not ‘deep’ enough to be taken seriously. I wonder why anyone decided to make a movie out of the book in the first place.
- Call this SPOILER ALERT, but according to Charlotte Willis of news.com.au, who saw the movie earlier this morning, when you buy the movie ticket, this is what you are paying for, “Almost 20 minutes worth of sex in Fifty Shades of Grey. No less than 16 bare, rather sculpted bums on a show. Nine lips being bitten. One set of boobs exposed 29 times. A dozen shirtless scenes. Two spanking scenes. One flogging scene. One peacock feather. Several blindfolds. Whips, ropes, chains, handcuffs, ties, spanking paddles galore. A playroom. A couple of pubic hair close-ups thrown in for good measure. And the words ‘dominant’ and ‘submissive’ used more times than one ever wants to hear in a single sitting”. So do you still wanna see the movie?
- Australia’s “Today” anchor Lisa Wilkinson, after watching the movie called it the worst movie she has ever seen, she went on to described the movie thusly, “Fifty Shades of Grey is more appalling than appealing, It’s domestic violence dressed up as erotica.“
- Here are few of the popular phrases used to describe the movie; Mainstream bondage porn and Softcore porn.
- The movie got a 30% rating on Rotten Tomatoes and a 3.2/10 on IMDb
In this 21st Century, the quickest way to get an audience is to introduce some sexual content into whatever it is you have. EL James took advantage of this fact and went all out. It could have as well been a porn book than a novel and that is exactly what the movie is.
If what you’re looking for is a sweet valentine love/romantic movie, what you’ll get is a movie that perverted the meaning of love, that encourages violence against women and that totally encourages sexual deviance.
I’m sure this post has probably heightened your curiosity about the movie, but trust me, all you need to know about the movie is that “it is about a sexually explicit relationship between a college student and a businessman filled with fantasies, bondage sex, dominance, submissive sex and much more”.
I hope I’ve saved you your $10.25, or 1,500 naira, don’t pay for an amusement that does not only encourage the industry, but spills toxic content all over the minds of everyone, remember the verse in Proverbs that says, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life“.
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Thank you for reading. I’m really looking forward to seeing your comments.
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