The first day I got my first pound of flesh, she chose to keep me. She chose to love me regardless. The moment I received my first heartbeat, I was shocked to know that she still kept me. My presence made her very ill that she couldn’t even eat her favorite meals; she repelled the smell of the kitchen. I felt really guilty. Doesn’t it feel like I only bring her discomfort and pains? What about her career? She spent passion, energy and resources to build it to where it was. And now, she’s just going to put her business and workplace reputation on the line and focus on me instead?
Is she crazy? How can a sane person count years of personal pursuits as little value compared to keeping and raising this child? My heartbeat raced till I got weary of my curious soul. Despite it all, she never complained. That’s really odd for a woman in this fast moving age of technology, inventions and the need to stay significant and on top of your career game.
The first day I had my first breath, she was my first friend; we shared everything. You name it! The list is endless, I tell you. The connection was deep and strong. In the kicking, she felt me. In the bubbling, she shared the excitement. In the silence, she was curiously anxious .
In the tears and lots of crying, she couldn’t hide her joy and laughter. In the growth process, she was relentless in her patience, love and understanding. I felt incomplete if I didn’t get to hear her voice for a day. And she felt the same way too.
Art and Music were our love languages. And we lavish it recklessly on each other. When there’s no singing or wordplay or drama moments in the house, then something must be wrong or missing.
The first day it was announced by some physician that I am a girl-child, it became immaterial from that moment to give me directions on where to take my cues from in being the “Total Woman”- because she was my first “Total Woman”. She exuded the unbiased reflection of the Proverbs 31 Woman. She was my coach in every way.
This is not to say that she was perfect. Oh, no, she was completely far from it! But, guess what? I wasn’t (and I still am) not perfect. We had to learn how to “forebear each other in love”. You see, as I grew, and my exposure to this environment, called “World” waxed stronger, we seemly almost grew apart. We almost could barely understand each other anymore.
However, despite this intensity that propelled lots of confusion, anxiety and even influenced my identity theft and robbed me of my esteem, she pressed on to keep me, still. She fought for me. She stood by me. There were moments that she was so overwhelmed with concerns for me, to the point she would prefer I at least earn an escape to heaven before I get to commit another sin. She was priceless.
It’s been five years since she really craved for a “vacation”. She earned it. Her Master couldn’t wait to have her back Home. Instead of a vacation, she got an eternal rest. That’s prodigious. She left a profound legacy behind, such of which I am yet to still fully comprehend.
When other girls of my growing age were being brought up in the natural instincts of materialism and the dire need for attention, my Mother taught me otherwise. Her child-upbringing techniques and strategies made me feel somewhat ostracized among my peers. I struggled because I wanted to “blend in” and have that achievement of having my own “click of girls”. When I later had a personal encounter with her Master, Who has now become my Master, I finally understood that I am actually a “Misfit” in this “World”. I didn’t get to understand this overnight though. In fact, I am still in the processing room. (lol)
Janet Omotoke Alli-Johnson (Nee Fayemi), my first friend, my first “Total Woman” and my first coach, I so can’t wait to see you again when we gather together on the Day of Our Master. We will get to gist Darling Jesus plenty things. I miss you everyday. But not a sad “missing” moment though. I love you, but God loves you way better, obviously. Keep on enjoying your amazing vacation-turned rest. I celebrate you today and every future day of my life in this transient world.
Thank you for reading.
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ABOUT THE DEATH OF A LOVED ONE