How do I feel?
All I can think about is you and you and more of you, it’s amazing how far we actually have come with this. I barely knew you and knowing you was just awesome.
It didn’t take time for this overwhelming feeling to come upon me, I feel like I have known you all my life, like… like…
Words self are not enough to quantify or qualify what I am about to explain. In fact, I don’t think there’s any need to try.
It definitely came upon me like a might rushing wind, who ever thought I would have my thoughts occupied with a person and a man for that matter… on a regular day I would have advised such a person to exam himself but you, you are… Well, “were” different or so I thought.
Getting to know you was just the cutest part, oh! Finally I thought my fairy tale fantasies were coming through, I was getting in touch with my other side, ‘the all loving and concerned part’.
You are the exact description of my tall, dark and handsome, you are perfect in my head, and of course I know you are not all perfect, I see all your flaws, and I honestly consider all of them natural and distinct.
I await the moment, still awaiting the moment where you get to confirm that it is mutual, this thing we have. I think we are perfect and can conquer the world together. With you by my side I am sure I can do and achieve any and everything in this life and I hope you know I can be and I am your perfect match. I see these things in everything we do, it’s the reason I can easily relate with you, our likes are very similar, our priorities are not far apart, and our vision, dreams and focus can be merged without a second working.
I would love to tell you how willing I am to put everything I have into “us” but right now, I can’t.
But I can tell you this, how curled up I am in bed, thinking about how I don’t deserve the replies I get from you, how much I have and am going through but with a smile every time I see you, how you only notice me and not my presence, how much hurt and low I feel and might just continue feeling, how I have to deal with all these without you knowing and I bet you have never even thought about.
Even my bed is tired of hold me down, my pillow has wiped enough tears; my blanket has covered my shame and pain long enough. Everything within me wants to blame you for all but self-guilt is eating me up, it’s choking me so bad, and yes it is that bad.
This is love, so my heart tells me; my body is totally convinced it is an obsession…. There’s a fine line here between, this feeling and that feeling……
I really had high hopes that I wasn’t just crushing… on how I feel? A box will be too big to contain my pieces….
To read the previous part, click CRUSHING
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