One of the most significant decisions a person will ever make is getting married. As marriage is a lifetime agreement, you must take time to know your partner well before rushing into things. To help with that, below are 10 questions to ask during courtship. But let’s define the word ‘courtship’ first.
Although the Oxford Dictionary defines courtship as “a period during which a couple develop a romantic relationship before getting married”, it’s beyond romance. It’s time for interviews.
Courtship is not the time to pretend to be who you are not or to put up with negative behaviours because you don’t want to lose your partner to someone else. It is not a time to impress your partner with your cooking skills or fat bank accounts.
Courtship is not a guarantee to marriage. Instead, it is a stage where you get to understand your partner, ask them important questions, know their life goals, likes and dislikes, values and beliefs, and discuss important issues, including finances, parenting and more!
In the light of this, here are 10 questions to ask during courtship:Courtship is not the time to pretend to be who you are not or to put up with negative behaviours because you don't want to lose your partner to someone else. Click To Tweet
1. What are your beliefs?
The first and most important question you must ask during courtship should involve your partner’s beliefs.
A person’s belief is an idea that they hold as being true. It is a feeling of being certain of the existence of someone or a thing.
You should know the values, morals and most importantly, the religion of your partner. That is when you can be on the right track to marriage.
2. Do you think spirituality is essential?
Having the same religious setting or belief does not mean you both share the same views on spirituality. In Christianity, spirituality refers to a life oriented towards the Holy Spirit.Courtship is not a time to impress your partner with your cooking skills or fat bank accounts. It's time for interviews. Click To Tweet
Your views on spirituality are fundamental. It is not only about having faith in God but also working and walking with Him. And it can become a big problem if you believes in spirituality and your partner doesn’t.
3. What is your genotype?
The importance of having compatible genotypes cannot be overemphasized. Knowing one’s genotype before choosing a life partner is essential because of the complications of bearing sickly children.
Thus, it is essential to know your partner’s genotype. For instance, two partners with the AS genotype are not compatible and should not get married. A partner must confirm the compatibility of their genotype before getting married.
4. What are your financial goals?
It is vital to discuss each other’s financial goals and the steps you intend to achieve them.
Finances are the leading cause of stress in a relationship. Knowing each other’s financial capacity and how you intend to share the expenses is very important to avoid financial issues in marriage.
5. What are your love languages?
Love languages are the ways we express love and feel loved. There are five primary love languages. They include quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts.
It’s not common to have the same love languages with your partner. Thus, it is crucial to know how your partner expresses love and what makes them feel loved.
6. What are your opinions on childbirth?
Another vital question to ask during courtship is your partner’s opinions on childbirth. It is imperative to know what your partner thinks about having children. The fact that the world sees children as an essential part of marriage does not mean your partner would feel the same way.Your views on spirituality are fundamental. It is not only about having faith in God but also working and walking with Him. And it can become a big problem if you believes in spirituality and your partner doesn't. Click To Tweet
In fact, you should not limit questions about childbirth to whether or not your partner wants children; you should also know how many children your partner wants and the mode of having them.
Some people prefer IVF, and others prefer natural conception. You should know your partner’s choice and reach an agreement favourable for the both of you.
7. What are your expectations on childcare and parenting?
Some believe that childcare is the sole responsibility of a woman, while others believe that the father should be a better parent. These are issues that you should thoroughly discuss before marriage to avoid conflicting opinions.
8. What is sex to you?
Sex is an essential aspect of every marriage. Even the Bible describes sex as part of God’s design for marriage. However, some people believe that sex is only for having children. Others believe that sex should be a regular thing in marriage.Some people believe that sex is only for having children. Others believe that sex should be a regular thing in marriage. What is your partner's view? Click To Tweet
To avoid misunderstandings in marriage, you should ask your partner what sex is and how married couples should do it.
9. How do we handle household chores?
When it comes to household chores, some people believe that certain chores are for particular genders. You should find out what your partner thinks about this before marriage.
10. How do we deal with our in-laws?
Parents and relatives are an essential part of our lives. We can’t cut off our loved ones because we are now married, can we? Of course not. Yet, we need to know how to balance our obligations to them.
Our family of origin and our new family should not compete with each other. You should ask your partner if any in-law or relative would live with you or visit you often.Some believe that childcare is the sole responsibility of a woman, while others believe that the father should be a better parent. These are issues that you should thoroughly discuss before marriage to avoid conflicting opinions. Click To Tweet
In conclusion, courtship prepares every couple for marriage. Sustaining a godly courtship is key to having a successful marriage. However, as Christians, it is essential to pray and ask every important question before saying ‘Yes, I do.’ Hopefully, these 10 questions to ask during courtship will get you started in the right direction.
Or maybe you don’t even know how to woo a lady, not to talk about being in a courtship. Then you should check out How To Woo a Lady – Pastor Emmanuel Iren Live.
Or you’re already in a relationship but wondering about Ways to Know Your Relationship Is Not Pleasing To Christ.
Have anything to share about this topic? Let’s meet in the comment section. See you there!
Written by Olajumoke Fakuade