Below are 25 random lessons I’ve learnt from my previous romantic relationships.

  1. The right/perfect time to enter (or initiate) a relationship is not necessarily yours to decide. Setting a time for yourself might put you under unnecessary pressure or make you settle for anything that shows up at that time.
  2. There is no universal method/rule to every relationship. Every relationship is unique, just as people are unique.
  3. If you have the tiniest inclination that your intending relationship will not work, it might actually not work. Save yourself the pain or take more time to be certain.
  4. If you have to make a relationship choice from a set of options, then they are all most likely not all the right persons. Don’t ask anyone out till he/she is the one and only option.
  5. Delay formalizing your relationship for as long as possible to build deeper friendship and have a sound knowledge/understanding of the person. Best friends still make the best spouses.
  6. Beware of advertisement. Don’t let anyone make a choice for you or make you choose from someone’s suggestions or recommendation. And don’t ever allow anyone pressure you into making a choice either.
  7. Your relationship will directly reflect your understanding and expectations of & from a relationship. If childish and lame, it will show. If shallow, it will show and if sound, it will also show.
  8. If you don’t set boundaries and communicate it clearly and repeatedly to your partner, you will cross the line.
  9. Dating a person with a different belief, values and stand from yours will be the greatest mistake of your life.
  10. Not every amazing person is meant for you. Or rather put; that he/she is amazing doesn’t mean a relationship with them will work or is meant to be.
  11. A relationship is meant to inform out if it’s wise to journey through to the marriage together. When you find out it’s not meant to be an eternal journey, please don’t waste any further time in the relationship and when you find out it’s meant to be a life long journey, close your eyes to every other person, lock-in and pursue through.
  12. Don’t put yourself and your partner under unnecessary pressure by putting his/her picture out there and all over before actually getting a yes.
  13. There is no perfect person, but if you won’t still love him/her and remain committed even if he/she never changes (drop the habit, attitude, physique…) please don’t bother dating him/her. But if you will love them either way, then great.
  14. Being friends with your partner’s siblings and parents (especially parents) is the best thing that can ever happen to your relationship.
  15. Long distance relationship can work when both parties commitment to each other is undying.
  16. The people you talk and listen to really determine the fate of your relationship.
  17. It is very okay to question your relationship, but make sure you are asking the right question and giving the right answers.
  18. It is very okay to wait for someone as long as he/she is coming. Don’t build your expectation on false hopes.
  19. A relationship isn’t just for the sake of having someone to call your boyfriend/girlfriend. The person must add value to you. If he/she isn’t adding value, please leave that relationship.
  20. The fear and stigma that comes with breakup will keep you a prisoner to the wrong relationship and that doesn’t help anyone.
  21. Sexual activities between dating/courting partners work like cancer or wildfire; it takes the central place of the relationship (it’s more like the only thing you look forward to) draining the life out every other thing to make itself bigger, while every other aspect of the relationship chokes to death.
  22. That someone of the opposite sex is being amazing and being an amazing friend doesn’t mean you should automatically turn them into a boyfriend/girlfriend. If all your opposite-sex friends are that amazing, you’ll just put yourself into confusion.
  23. Sacrifice is the lifeblood of any successful relationship. Holding on to your own ways will see your relationship to the grave faster than you can imagine.
  24. Honesty is the best gift you can give to your partner, Honesty to yourself and honesty to them. Tell them the truth in the most simple ways as possible, be it in their favour or not.
  25. Last last, following God’s direction and counsel (from the Bible and direct leading) in choosing a life partner is the only way to making a peaceful and assuring choice.

I believe you were able to relate with some of these lessons; Happy Birthday to me in a bit #July16. I’ll love to read your comment.

Kindly read the following articles as well;

Traits you SHOULD Look for in a Spouse

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About author


Tolulope Oludapo is a young Christian who lends his voice through the media by sharing practical wisdom for everyday living in the most experiential and simplified fashion. This has fetched him the direct followership of over 30,000 users on his blog, A blog he founded. He loves to write on varying subjects that affect life, faith, relationship...everyday living.
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