Singles and couples crave to love and be loved, sadly, they have much trouble doing so. We hear of break ups, divorces daily and it’s so surprising how love birds can become strangers. Just because everyone is rushing into a relationship doesn’t mean you are also ready for one. Here are basic relationship rules to guide you in having a fruitful and future-oriented relationship.

  1. Rule No.1 – There are no general rules for a successful relationship.

Confused? Let me explain. Individuals are different, we think differently, come from a different cultural background, different temperaments, love languages, interests… therefore it is very likely that the thing that worked for couple A to work for couple B.

Broadly speaking, we cannot compare our relationships. People have various ways by which they understand and express love, different way they respond and handle issues, so, there are no general rules for a successful relationship, but of course, there is a whole lot we can learn from other people’s relationship. Just be careful you don’t make someone’s rule or method an absolute, (except what is plainly written in the bible of course).

  1. Communicate and not just Talk.

Communication involves relaying a meaningful and understandable message to your partner. It is impossible to even be in a relationship in the first place if you lack the ability to communicate your thoughts and feelings.

A relationship is not a guessing or assumption game. Discuss your ideas, plans and anything that bothers you clearly and honestly. Closeness cannot be reached without honest communication. Don’t assume that your partner understands. Sometimes you really need to speak and also listen.

And take note that communication is not complete till the receiver receives and understands what is being communicated. So, it’s not just about talking but communicating.

  1. Have Mutual Respect for Each Other

Mutual respect in a relationship is another top ingredient for building a long-lasting relationship. Know your partner’s likes and dislikes, respect their opinion, ask for their suggestion at any given opportunity. Know their personal boundaries and respect it. 

  1. Play as a Team

A relationship is not a one man’s business venture, it is more or less partnership. Both of you are uniquely designed humans with different perspectives and strength, harnessing these differences is pivotal to the relationship. 

Be supportive, #SplitTheBills. Do not leave the payment of the *bills to one person, even if they insist, show that you feel concerned. No one person should put more effort, money, time… into a relationship than the other. It will allow resentment and discomfort to build.

*Bills here is figurative of the resources a relationship needs to grow.

  1. Manage Differences As They Arise

Disagreements don’t sink relationships, poor handling of disagreement does. Conflicts and disagreements are inevitable. Dealing with them squarely when they arise shows our level of responsibility. Please, don’t sweep under the carpet unresolved issues. Solve every problem as they arise.

  1. Apologise; Learn to Say & Show That You are SORRY

Learn to say sorry, not just saying it but feeling remorse. Understand your spouse’s apologetic language. Some people do not really need to say sorry before you know they feel remorse, hence be sensitive to signs that show that he/she want to make peace and get it a chance.

  1. Compromise and Sacrifice Often (When Necessary)

The language of love is “sacrifice”. This clearly describes Christ’s death on the cross. You would need to let your wants sly at times. Take out time from your busy schedule, go out on spontaneous dates with your partner and revitalise the relationship. Wanting your way all the time is selfishness.

  1. Fill in yours as a comment: We would love to read one more relationship rule from you. What greatest lesson have you learned from your relationship(s)? Share the rule as a comment below. 

About author


Tolulope Oludapo is a young Christian who lends his voice through the media by sharing practical wisdom for everyday living in the most experiential and simplified fashion. This has fetched him the direct followership of over 30,000 users on his blog, A blog he founded. He loves to write on varying subjects that affect life, faith, relationship...everyday living.
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