I used to be sexually active, so the decision to be celibate was a terribly hard one. I could not imagine the possibility of life without casual sex. There were days I was strong enough to resist the temptation, other days and a lot, I gave in and fed my body the pleasure it craved.
Shame was a close companion and it built a wall that made my relationship with Jesus suffer. I made a lot of effort to stop it all, but it got harder the more I tried. Sex was a hunger and it felt like my body needed it to survive.
I got to a point where I decided to stop putting pressure on myself and focus on other things. It was no longer a fight I was willing to take on my own. I realised that I just needed to focus on knowing Jesus — who He is, what He did for me and why I deserved it. I began to consume his word as much as I could. That is when change started to happen, that is where strength to overcome temptations came from.
When the decision to keep myself for God came from a place of nurturing a relationship with Jesus, I began to see the beauty in sex and understand his plan for it. It birthed a natural desire to be celibate and then I chose to honour God with my body.
When the decision to keep myself for God came from a place of nurturing a relationship with Jesus, I began to see the beauty in sex and understand his plan for it. Click To Tweet
Previously, it was from a place of fear, accompanied by shame and the need to be perfect. And these reasons only made me burn out and give in easily.
We need to learn to walk in the spirit and shift our focus away from the flesh. Does this mean that we will not be tempted? Nope, I still get horny and it’s a strong temptation but as you keep consuming the word and confessing who you are, your spirit gets stronger and begins to control your body.
We need to learn to walk in the spirit and shift our focus away from the flesh. Click To Tweet
Also, I try to make it easier for my flesh by guarding it against content that fuels the desire.
Some of the practical steps I take are staying away from relationships that lead me to sex, training my social media by following just a certain kind of content, building stronger Christian friendships and ensuring that we are always accountable to each other.
Build strong Christian friendships and ensure that you are always accountable. Click To Tweet
And even when I feel the urge despite all these, I talk to Jesus and tell him how I feel. I get active, take a walk, exercise or even just take a shower.
To be honest, it’s hard! really hard, especially for people like me who were sexually active in the past. However, we’ve been given the strength to discipline our flesh. it’s important you know why you are choosing to be celibate.
This conviction will keep you guarded.
I got the inspiration to post this thanks to @preshgaza. She sparked up a conversation on twitter when she asked unmarried Christian how they cope with sexual urges. So yeah, let’s continue the conversation here.
Written by Tamunotonye Levy-Braide
Originally poster here
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First time i read this writeup, all i could do was thank God for the strength and courage he gave TT to share this. This is one aspect of our lives, no one really talks about, but she deemed it fit to share it with us all. Thank you.
Beautiful write up. Things that are working for me after a series of failure is understanding that I cannot keep falling (working out my salvation with fear and trembling.) refusing to negotiate with the devil because God word is final, more true and ever sure. Having faith in God’s plans for my future and believing that He loves me more. Honestly any man, boy or guy that wouldn’t respect your decision to wait is not God’s gift to you
Thankyou for this.