I feel I am about to step on some toes, so let me put forward this disclaimer. This is a piece written purely from a scriptural perspective. If you are not a Christian, these principles would not compel you and I don’t expect you to agree. If you are a Christian and you disagree, please put forth your reasons from scripture, just as I have done below.
A few days back, I had the opportunity of meeting and talking with someone who I hadn’t spoken with in a while. It was an emotion-evoking conversation. I felt joy, shock, sadness, pity, fear and desperation all in one sitting. One of the major things we talked about was Divorce and Remarriage.
It’s one of the most touchy subjects in the world and even in the church along with abortion and sexuality. The arguments for are that;
The arguments for Divorce are;
1. If someone finds the kind of love they never found in their marriage in a new person, it’s unfair to ask them not to remarry; and,
2. Relationship with God is personal; so even though they are clearly sinning against Him, it is between them and Him and even the church (who are to be custodians of the word) should ignore the fact that they have chosen or are choosing to consistently live in sin.
Let me outline the arguments against;
The Bible says clearly…very clearly in Matt 5:31 and 32 “do not divorce except on grounds of unfaithfulness and if you do and anyone marries you while your spouse is still alive or vice versa, you and them commit adultery.”
The bible doesn’t contradict itself here because, in another passage, it states that marriage is to be ended only by death. The Bible also clearly stated that we should not commit adultery.
I have a divorced cousin and I know why and how it all happened, so I am not insensitive to the plight of these group of people. However, I had to learn and keep reminding myself, not to let emotions and touching stories sway me concerning this matter.
God’s stand on it is clear – if you divorce, you can only remarry if you become a widow or widower.
Is it fair? Maybe not, especially when the other party has moved on.
Let me remind you though, that you chose your spouse and even if you didn’t (maybe it was an arranged marriage), you took the vows yourself. You could have chosen not to declare those vows even if it was in an arranged marriage. You have no right to say God asked you to remarry as a divorced person because that means you are indirectly saying that God can contradict His words. Well, He doesn’t and He never will.
If you are someone who sees divorce as the only option, you need to learn to do it God’s own way. Ask Him for grace to stay, spend the time loving Him more and growing in His grace. It is not an easy route, but Luke 9:23 says that if you must be Christ’s disciple, you must deny yourself, take up your cross DAILY and follow. Denying “self” means that you cannot always get to do things that make you happy, you can’t be selfish anymore.
Sometimes the things that please God don’t give you ‘good’ feelings inside but you can be rest assured that by doing those things, you are doing the will of the one who first loved you and gave His life for you.
So be encouraged.
Pleasing God is better than finding ‘happiness’ again in a sinful lifestyle. No temptation that has befallen you is uncommon to man, God will provide a way of escape- maybe not the one of your choice, but He always makes streams in desert lands and pathways in the darkest of forests.
Are you ready to take His preferred solution?
PS: Many hope that if they do it God’s way (maybe the abusive spouse will die and they will finally be able to marry the love of their lives and be happy). This happens to a few people. I wouldn’t lie to you. You may never find the kind of happiness that you seek on this earth. The happiness and deep joy you seek can only be found in Jesus. Indeed, it pays to serve Jesus and to please Him always.
This article isn’t my opinion, but the Biblical Perspective of Divorce; let me know what you think in the comments. If you disagree, please put forth your reasons. I will read them.
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