Faith

Forgiveness – a ‘Doing’ Word

1

Forgiveness, they tell you, is for yourself- not for the other person, true! I agree, but nobody tells you about how painful the reoccurring journey to forgiveness can be. I used to think that if I just say to myself ‘I forgive so and so’, automatically resentment and all its family members leave me in peace.

Let me tell you about one of my ‘forgiveness’ journeys:

A few years ago, someone I held in very high regard hurt me badly. My first reaction was silence, then I doubted if it happened; then I got angry with myself for not seeing it before it happened- let me not bore you, you most likely already know the curve. Remember I said someone I looked up to- so somehow, we still had to be in the same meetings. Sometimes, I had to listen to Him speak and not throw up out of irritation. Life moved on because time has a way of changing things- although its effect does not happen in our hearts automatically.

Soon proximity was no longer an issue, I was not seeing Him anymore. By the way, I knew I had to forgive Him- not just because it was good for me but because forgiveness is a command for an effective love walk. I had gotten to the point where I cried and prayed about it and moved on- or so I thought.

Few months ago, I noticed that anytime my Instagram feed brought a picture or something concerning this person, I felt so irritated- so much that I could be scrolling through IG, see his post, and become sour for the rest of the day. At first, I could not place what it was. It happened a few times  and I excused it- until one day, a friend asked ‘have you forgiven …?’ I was truthful to say ‘I used to think I have but now, I am not sure’. I knew I had to sit with God and have this conversation again.

‘Father, I really don’t know but I thought I had moved on but I don’t get this thing brewing in my heart every time I see anything relating to Him’, I lamented. Make no mistake- I did not have this conversation with dry eyes. My heart was tearing apart because I had to revisit a dark alley in my heart. This one conversation became a catalyst to a new forgiveness journey.

I got over it and could peacefully go through my Instagram feed without feeling sour- regardless of if I saw my ‘Trigger’ or not. Recently again, I noticed that any time I see his picture, my head goes ’what does He have to say? How can he say so after what he did?’ I know that just as my sins are forgiven,  his are too. I also know that there is no measuring scale for worse or mild sin. Why then do I have to walk this forgiveness path over and over again?

This evening I thought about it. My heart found solace in the fact that ‘forgiveness is a God action so you would need to trust Him to walk in it’. When you first learn about a‘verb’, they tell you it is a ‘doing’ (action) word. Well, yes, forgiveness is a doing word – since it is a God idea, I can’t possibly do it myself. Good enough, He is always willing to comfort and walk me through the hard curve of this journey.

Writing this was really hard but I feel someone needs it to navigate his/her own journey. I am learning every day to trust God again and again to forgive. I hope you find the courage to trust God to help you in this forgiveness journey- even if the person you need to forgive is yourself. When you have to do it multiple times, do not give up because forgiveness is a doing word.

I am learning to trust God again and again to forgive. I hope you find the courage to trust God to help you in this forgiveness journey. When you have to do it multiple times, do not give up because forgiveness is a doing word. Click To Tweet

If you need help, as we all do, talk to someone who can help. Don’t keep quiet!

I encourage you to come on a forgiveness journey with me. You can do this!

Forgiveness, they tell you, is for yourself- not for the other person, true! I agree, but nobody tells you about how painful the reoccurring journey to forgiveness can be. Click To Tweet

Situations and Situationships

Previous article

How To Effectively Interpret The Bible

Next article

You may also like

1 Comment

  1. “Forgiveness is an action word” nice write-up.

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

More in Faith