Faith

Let’s Settle This Once And For All – Is Kissing a Sin?

21

Hello people!
You are all welcome. Please take your seats. We have come to settle this matter once and for all. Amen?!
Grab your bibles too and throw away every opinion you may have had before now. Let’s be open-minded and look at this thing together. So, is kissing a sin?

So a friend of mine engaged me in this discussion some weeks ago and although I knew my own stance in the matter, I was lacking words to convince him from the bible that it is wrong. He was of the opinion that it was a matter of conviction. Hence… my bringing the matter to the market square so it’d be settled once and for all.

Kissing is We all know what kissing is. The issue is… is kissing a sin? I want to believe as believers, we aren’t talking about kissing random people.

To be more specific, is it wrong to kiss someone you are in a relationship with?

We know what the bible says concerning fornication sex outside of marriage (1 cor 6:18-20, Hebrews 13:4, Gal 5:19-21) These bible verses are just in case you were wondering. But sex outside marriage for us as believers is non-negotiable no matter who does it. Our standards have not changed.

So we know sex is wrong but I think the issue with most people is that they know this so they try to avoid the act of sex. But in this their avoidance of sex, they seek other things to satisfy their desires without the actual act. Then kissing, smooching, oral sex, touching would now enter the matter. Some self-righteously justify this, after all, they didn’t have sex.

Now let’s look at what the Word of God says about that:
Matthew 5:28 – “But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart…”
See that?! That’s God’s standard. Allowing it even as a thought is equivalent to you engaging in it. The bible encourages us to be pure even in thought. How much more then engaging in acts that are normally pre-sex acts?

I often ask people, when you kiss, do you lift your hands in worship or put it in your pockets or behind you? I don’t think so, kissing is a pre-sex act. You can’t touch when you kiss… Do you get? Even if you don’t touch, if it is someone you are attracted to, there is no way you would not start to imagine and think lustful thoughts.

Plus why bother? Kissing in its self is not satisfying.  I mean, it is not a bus-stop… it is a means to an end – sex.
You don’t kiss and afterwards be like, ‘that was good.. end of case’ No… It always leaves you wanting more especially when you have not had sex yet. So again, I ask why bother?

Songs of Solomon 8:4 (MSG) – “…Oh, let me warn you, sisters in Jerusalem: Don’t excite love, don’t stir it up, until the time is ripe – and you’re ready….”
See that?! Do not excite love… until you are ready. Do not start a car until you are ready to move. If you do, it’d lead to waste of fuel – emotions. Do you understand?

This scripture shows us that there is a ripe/right time even for exciting or arousing or stirring up of love.

When you start to kiss, hold, touch, smooch and do all those stuff, you’d be unsatisfied. Even your thoughts begin to wander into the forbidden territory.

You can not even tell me that you'd be kissing and be thinking of 'seated in heavenly places' or something about the cross. Click To Tweet

Some funny people now be like enh, kissing is equivalent to greeting in some culture blah blah, even Paul in the bible said greet one another with a holy kiss. But thanks be to God that Bro Paul said… holy! He knew that some people in my generation would be arguing this matter. Hehehe!

In fact, when I hear people say things like that. I tell them this… that was then and that was their culture. I am not sure it is the same now. Plus between you and God, can you even give someone you love and are attracted to a holy kiss? Can you?

There is actually a higher tendency for you to actually have sex before marriage when you start to engage in kissing, rubbing, smooching and all that stuff. Click To Tweet

My conclusion: When you are in a relationship, especially when intentions are for marriage (I don’t see any other reason why you should be in a relationship though)… let the touching be minimal. Because you see enh, kissing you shall kiss… even sex, you shall have to overflow WHEN you eventually get married. I know of people who have said at different points in their marriage, they didn’t feel like it… and that is so true.

So why be in a hurry for something you would have in abundance.. good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over? Why the rush?

Be patient, let this be a time to cultivate self-control. It would even help you speed up things so you don’t date forever. I mean, when you have an expectation and a hope, you won’t turn someone’s child to the lord of the rings. Lol… I am only joking. Well, I am jokingly serious 🙂

Begin to see your body as God’s temple… until marriage. It is still the temple of God even in marriage only then sexual relationships with your husband would be approved and allowed even by God. Do not defile your marriage bed. Do not let one kiss destroy your testimony as a couple.

Set healthy boundaries in your relationship not because some preacher told you to do so, but in honour of God. Click To Tweet

If you are still unsure about all these, I’d like you to answer this: Would you be bold enough to let your parents and church leaders, members know the level of touching and kissing that goes on in your relationship?

Errrm… before we share the grace, I’d love to hear from you all. Let us continue this discussion in the comment boxes. What is your honest view of the subject on the ground?

Selah! 🙂

You should check out these other discussion ending articles:

DATING AND RELATIONSHIP: THE MOTHER TERESA WAY

DISCUSSION: HOW PHYSICALLY INVOLVED SHOULD DATING PARTNERS BE?

Ozioma Paul

Preparing For Your Next Relationship

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21 Comments

  1. Now Playing: No Kissing Baby

    1. 🙂 lol Moyo

  2. This write up is so on-point.

    1. 🙂 Pst Kellyyyyyyy! Thank you!

  3. LIT

    1. Thanks Boro 🙂

  4. Nothing to add or disagree with. Thanks so much, it write ups are Always on point. Thanks for letting ur light shine and for using ur gifts to bless us all. God bless you!

    1. Glory to God!
      Thank you for your kind words and a bigggg amen to that!

  5. Good article, I must say. However, I’d say you have simply given a new rule – no kissing. Its great you pointed out what kissing really entails, however I think MORE emphasis should be laid on how we are temples and bought with a price rather than how kissing is a ‘sin’ in certain contexts. Why? The latter regulates JUST kissing. But what of when sexting or some other thing comes up…

    Another rule. The former is the way favoured by the apostles before then giving instructions. You are correct, no doubt in your points. But more emphasis on the identity of the believer I would say is needed next time. Great article again.

  6. Okay Damilola, Thank you 🙂

  7. This just captured everything. I can’t agree less. Thanks so much.

    1. You’re welcome Deborah!
      Good to have you hear 🙂

  8. Apostle must hear of this…….. Thanks…

  9. From the beginning it just felt like we met or had a conversation about this before! Thank you! The spirit of God is indeed one!

  10. God bless you for this!
    The truth is that, whatever is wrong is wrong. No matter how much we try to brush around the truth.. God grant us all grace!

  11. Thank you so much for this…i hope it sinks and resonates to us all…so we can practice it as well and I believe until we realize that God’s instructions on purity and life in general are for our benefit we would keep having this arguments

  12. Thank you Ozioma. I agree with all you have mentioned, like Michael wrote here whatever is wrong is wrong, we are the ones always trying to get around the truth and water things down.

    I also know that this is easier to adhere to, if you yourself understand first that it is an act in obedience to God and a preservation of God’s temple.
    I would also advise we read the book ‘I kissed dating goodbye’ – by Joshua Harris..it strengthened my resolve. It talks about godly courtship and the author’s story is a testimony in itself.

  13. Thank you Ozioma. I agree with all you have mentioned, like Michael wrote here whatever is wrong is wrong, we are the ones always trying to get around the truth and water things down.

    I also know that this is easier to adhere to, if you yourself understand first that it is an act in obedience to God and a preservation of God’s temple.
    I would also advise we read the book ‘I kissed dating goodbye’ – by Joshua Harris….it strengthened my resolve. It talks about godly courtship and the author’s story is a testimony in itself.

  14. This is so beautiful and very timely for me. Thank you!

  15. Very true and precise. The beauty of it all is that your words aren’t ambiguous, they are profound and clear. Thanks for sharing this. No one can dispute this.

  16. Very good article and thank you for clarifying

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