AFTER 2 YEARS OF RELATIONSHIP, MY GUY IS THREATENING TO BREAK UP WITH ME IF I DON’T GIVE HIM SEX. I LOVE HIM AND IT’S MAKING ME DEPRESSED. WHAT DO I DO?
A friend has been dating a guy for 2 years now. At the beginning, the guy was the one truly in love but along the line the lady fell seriously for him. Now that she’s totally committed, the guy is threatening to end the relationship because she’s refusing him sex. She is depressed now and doesn’t know what to do. What should she do?
I am going to be as real as possible, because theories wouldn’t solve this. But first, this sister should be rejoicing that he is showing himself now and he didn’t do it after 5 years of the relationship or in the marriage. Any guy that will not respect your body doesn’t respect God. I already established here earlier that our bodies are not our own especially if you’re in Christ. So a Guy that doesn’t get that, doesn’t know that you’re not fully His, Until Christ gives you to Him first of all doesn’t know God then doesn’t understand what marriage is about or even what it means to be a “Man” in a relationship.
We still gave example here of how a man left a Woman after marrying her and having sex…So where am I going to? The signs are always there…Look at what this guy is already displaying and tomorrow if he cheats we would want to be running up and down…No! We don’t need a prophet to tell us that even if this guy was once the right guy, He allowed himself to be influenced negatively and now has become a no no for this Lady.
Secondly, the guy’s threat can only get to her…if she doesn’t really know who she is. He is not her life support. Jesus is. So if he wants to end the relationship because of sex, let him go ahead.
Thirdly, please this point is really key. The lady in question here said she’s saved…She still needs to get to understand somethings, because once you’re saved and you know God’s words, somethings cannot be a topic.
God’s words has said somethings about fornication, sex and that should be her guide…That should lead and keep her on what to do. After all is said her done…He just another human…not her god…so let her draw the line. If she goes to meet God today, she will have to take full responsibility for her action and your choice is your choice nobody can help you take it.
Fourthly, if he has sex with you in a relationship, he will cheat on you in marriage. Character is the same whether in Spain or Tokyo. If He cannot have self-control now, He is not going to have self-control when they get married, that’s just standard. Ask some married women that have this immorality problem…you will see that their is the probability of having been open to pre-marital sex.
There is a second part to this, to be continued next week.
Kindly contribute as a comment below.
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Nkechi Chiazor is a Women Distinctiveness Teacher. She is passionate about helping women find their true worth, value and distinctiveness. She is the founder of WONDIVA (Wonderfully Distinguished; Virtuous; Attractive) a network that helps women understand their distinctiveness and come to see themselves the way God sees them.
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My opinion here is this:
Firstly, this should show to the lady what actually is most valuable to the guy in this relationship. If because of sex a guy is so willing to throw away two years of investment, time, energy and life, then it’s so obvious that his value system is dysfunctional, and thank God for His mercies, this lady gets to see it before it’s too late. I would advise that she braces up herself. It’s going to be very tough taking her stand, but, come on girl, your life is on the line here! Just imagine this guy’s value system in every other aspect of his life!! Make him understand how much you have valued this relationship and it just so pitifully turned out that in terms of priorities and value system, you both are so not on the same page. *smiles*