How NOT to ask a Christian Lady Out

I once came across a plea in form of a tweet to Christian brothers about how the people ‘of the world’ know how to woo a woman better and how maybe that’s why many Christian sisters end up with unbelievers.

Though this is sadly true, I have my reservations about it.

First, I believe people should be responsible for their actions so a sister falling from the prescribed guide (of marrying within the faith) shouldn’t be attributed to what someone else did or didn’t do.

That said, how exactly do people fall in love (for lack of a better word) with people that don’t know or love God? I mean, we know to love everyone even unbelievers but getting to the point where you are deeply committing to an unbeliever is really strange. At the end of the day emotions may come (these may not be in our control) but this doesn’t mean to give in to the flesh especially as it is not in alignment with God’s will.

Anyways to the discussion of today! Here are 6 ways How NOT to ask a Christian Lady Out

1. Do not use the God-Told-Me-You-Are-My-Wife line.

Like a man of God once said, “that won’t work in this generation”. I said a lot about this here. You can read it to understand better why it won’t work. The summary though is both people should be convinced of God. Your own conviction isn’t enough to establish you both.

Plus this may be a weakness for some sisters who aren’t as matured in the Lord.

2. Do not be afraid to show your emotions.

Brothers, can we talk about this for a second? The fact that you are a child of God doesn’t mean you don’t have feelings.

Some brothers would never say “I love you” or show affections as they ought to. It is not a sin to be affectionate and sweet towards your beloved.

A disclaimer though! This shouldn’t involve the physical. You already know the stance of the bible on this, right? Okay well, I’ll say it regardless. I know you know but just so you can tell others. God designed sex to be within the boundaries of marriage. But by all means be affectionate. Do not mask your feelings. It doesn’t make you more righteous.

Some brothers would never say “I love you” or show affections as they ought to. It is not a sin to be affectionate and sweet towards your beloved. Share on X

3. Do not try to date her by force.

I hate to admit that this occurs within the fact even though it is in a less subtle manner. One popular method is Number 1 discussed already.

Another is intimidating the sister maybe with your position or rank in the church. Trust me, you can do better than to be with a woman who isn’t convinced she should be with you.

Another scare tactic is the “You better get me now” line that suggests her not being with you is a loss. Even if you believe this with all your heart, I believe it is not in your place to shove that in a face or to talk about the biological clock ticking away.

Another is speaking negatively of a sister to others just because she said no. This behaviour is not of God. It should find no place among his people. Whether she says yes or no, she remains your sister in Christ and should be treated with honour and love.

Brothers, never try to intimidate a lady into dating you, especially when you use the 'you better get me now' line that suggests her not being with you is a loss, or that you are doing her a favour. Share on X

4. Do not try to win a woman by material things

This won’t work with a woman given to the things of God. Don’t waste your money. There are ways to seek out a woman’s heart (especially a godly woman) asides money.

5. Do not pretend!

A Christian lady has the Holy Spirit in her, she has discernment. You shall be exposed in due time. So either come out straight or leave her alone.

6. Do not make it all about church

This is someone you are attracted to and not someone you are starting a church with so you can calm down with the memory verse and church quotes.

This is not to say God shouldn’t be mentioned in your discussions (this would be truly impossible when both are given to the things of the Lord). I am talking about not choking her with scriptures even on regular, secular stuff like you both go on dates and all. It is a date, not a bible study, relax.

Dating between Christians should not be about memory verse, bible study and prayers. Talk about other things, have fun, relax, go on dates. Share on X

Do not choke the time you are supposed to used to know her with quotes and bible verses.

Do not choke the time you are supposed to used to know her with quotes and bible verses. Share on X

There is time for everything 🙂

People of God, I have come to the end of this list (for now). Please feel free to add more in the comment boxes, let’s grow and help our brothers and sisters.

Read Next: Right Guy. Right Time, Then What?!
What’s a Sister To Do When He Says, “God Said You Are my Wife”???



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