‘By 20, I must have bought a car’, ‘By 21, I must have had a business line to my name’. I’ve heard friends make such bold statements, proclaiming what they desire to see at a certain stage of their lives.
I am sure you have as well, and I am sure that in this very moment, you have ‘goals’ you want to see fulfiled before you reach a certain stage or age. I can’t say I don’t set such ‘goals’ for myself- think about it, it’s quite essential to do so. It keeps you in check and helps you to make judicious use of your 24 hours (I suppose).
However, most times, I find myself musing over this, and asking myself why I need to do what I desire to do at the targeted point in time. To prove a point? Is my desire a subconscious response to the IG world- where everyone seems to be doing one “great” thing or the other? Is it to ensure I am not missing out, or I am not left out of the league of ‘achievers’?
Do I really need to rush the process? Why do I really want to do it now? Is this really the right time? What happens if I don’t buy a car at 20? Does that render me a failure? What happens if by 21 I can barely tell anyone about any business line to my name? Does that make me unintelligent? Interestingly, I came across a man’s post on his twitter account, and it reads:
“I know many of us are obsessed with doing so much at a young age. But, my homie, breathe!” (the word breathe here means to ease the pressure/to calm down).
I agree with his words, especially in the light of the social pressure that tends to push people to settling goals that they might not necessarily be ready to achieve. Yes, I said so.
Doing things at a young age is beautiful: having a business to your own name at 18 is cool. Having your first degree at 20 is amazing. Being a millionaire at 30 is great. Achieving things early in life ‘makes sense’. But – my friend, BREATHE! Alternatively, having that business venture when you’re 30 is cool too. Bagging your first degree at 26 is alright also. Being able to meet your needs as opposed to being the next Bill Gates at 30 is great too. Don’t choke yourself; it’s unhealthy to run ahead of yourself. Take it easy!Don't choke yourself in a bid to achieve at a certain young age. It's unhealthy to run ahead of yourself, take it easy! Click To Tweet
Yes, there are folks who are younger than you, or as old as you are- who seem to have ‘achieved’ more than you have. Yes, you feel the urge to meet up with the status quo. But, the truth is that you need not to pattern your life to fit that of others. Run at your own pace, so as to reach the destination at ‘your own time’. Don’t despise waiting. You can take it as your preparation time. It is said that: ‘Preparation time and the time spent laying a solid foundation aren’t wasted times. Anything done in haste never lasts’. I agree with him. You see, when you rush so much, you’re on the verge of making unrealistic or false impressions of yourself. You then start ‘living the false or exaggerated impression life you’ve created for yourself! What disharmony.Preparation time and the time spent laying a solid foundation aren't wasted times. Click To Tweet
It’s not out of place to achieve – at 25- what your friend achieved at 20 – it’s not as though you’re not good enough. No! You just didn’t get it when he did. That’s all.
Social media greatly contributes to such pressure to desire to “achieve”. You see someone’s post -which may be a lie- and start feeling like you’ve not been doing enough all your life. The number of someone else’s social media followers may even thrill you, forgetting that people buy followers to also keep up with the lie! Of course, it surely would be insincerity to say there’s no inspiration/motivation to glean from on the streets of social media. But, again I say: breathe! Because someone has done what you’re planning to do, doesn’t mean you still won’t do it at your ‘own time’. It doesn’t mean you won’t have your own subscribers. It just means you’ll have your own people, at your own time.Because someone has done what you're planning to do, doesn't mean you still won't do it at your 'own time'. Click To Tweet
The one with whom you graduated from secondary school now uses a new car! Great stuff. But you don’t have one yet – that’s all right. It’s pointless to go all out trying to get a loan to meet up with the status quo. Enjoy your peace. yes, save for it -if you can- but simply be content with what you do have. Contentment adds huge doses of peace and joy to your life. If you rush in – you may most likely rush out! There are ideas you do have now which are not for months, but for years to come. Only if you would ease up, you would see!Contentment adds huge doses of peace and joy to your life. If you rush in - you may most likely rush out! Click To Tweet
So, learn to hold on. Be steady. Be patient. In waiting, you get to learn more, and discern what to drop, and what to keep running with. Waiting clears your mind: it helps you see clearly. Be inspired by the achievement of others. But, let it only be an inspiration and not an alteration or a distraction to your own pace. Allow it to make you think wider but not bother you – so much that you end up crossing the ‘border’ when you’re not meant to.In waiting, you get to learn more, and discern what to drop, and what to keep running with. Waiting clears your mind: it helps you see clearly. Click To Tweet Be inspired by the achievement of others. But, let it only be an inspiration and not an alteration or a distraction to your own pace. Click To Tweet
Before you run – stop, breathe and chill.
Written by Samson Adeyemi