How do you feel when somebody tells you how intelligent, beautiful, smart, great, marvellous and excellent you are? I guess a sense of purpose, worth and belonging envelopes you. Have you ever bought something like clothing that you never liked until somebody said something good about it?
Terry was a very intelligent person yet he did not know what he was made up of. As a close associate of his, I could see the intellectual potential he was endowed with. I was even jealous of him because of what I could see in him.
Since he did not know his capacity, a friend of ours introduced another route on how to pass our JAMB exams with flying colours. Terry consented by paying a certain amount of money to the person that could help him. He later informed me of the thought that I would subscribe to the idea. To his utmost dismay, aside from telling him, I was uninterested, I expressed my disappointment in him. “I am very disappointed in you. If I, who is not as intelligent as you are did not think of such a thing, why will you”? I lampooned him.
That singular statement of instilling confidence in him changed Terry for good. He abandoned the idea of cheating after which he passed the exam very well. He was later admitted into the University and today he is a first class graduate. Recently, he told me that I made him discover how intelligent he is. In fact, according to him, I am a God-sent, noting that the confidence I had in him emboldened him. I was elated to hear that.
Some weeks ago, after emailing my piece to Tolu (CEO, Lifegiva) for publication, I received a reply from him. It reads: your article is awesome, simple and relatable but so true and full of wisdom. Thank you bro. That night I felt so good about myself and my writing career. In fact, I wrote another piece before going back to bed as a new dew of writing excitement dropped in me. I have come to realize that a compliment is one of the least expensive things, yet the effect is just non-quantifiable. It costs nothing but means a lot.
Being a friend in need does not necessarily mean giving somebody money or buying gifts for him or her. It also means bringing the best out of somebody. As Henry Ford said: my best friend is the one that brings out the best in me. So who is your best friend? What parameter are you using to call that person your best friend?
This reminds me of my former skinny colleague. She worked with the customer care unit. Due to the nature of her job, she barely smiled. I engaged her one day in a chat. In the course of the chat, I understood that she was having low self-esteem because of her physique; skinny one. I told her to thank her star for having that wonderful statue-that millions of ladies want to be like her. I made her understand that she looks like a model. From that moment, she regained her self-esteem and whenever I see her, I just whisper “pretty model” to her ears. She then started giving a flashy smile. At times, she would come close to me feigning that she wants to tell me something. Well, my instinct tells me that she just wanted to hear more of the compliments.
Everybody wants to be cherished, liked, valued and respected. Some are even starving of our approval of their looks, talents, business as well as potential. Let us be generous with our compliment since it costs nothing but means a lot. Even Henry Ford needed that from Thomas Edison prior to his breakthrough.
Meanwhile, it is not about flattery or blowing something out of proportion- but about making people see what they cannot see in themselves. It is about making people value and believes in themselves. It is also about making people happy about themselves. Let people feel happier and better after talking or meeting you. Let people feel excited whenever they see you. Let them call you when they need encouragement, hope, succour, and solace. For me, this is the essence of friendship.
Do not forget that all these will come back to you as every act of this kind is an investment which you will reap in no distant time.
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