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Lessons from the Tinder Swindler

February is known as love season, thanks to Valentine. There is a lot of mushy stuff happening at every turn. I believe that in the midst of all the people currently walking about with butterflies in their stomachs, Netflix chose the perfect time to release the – ‘Tinder Swindler’.

Well, if you have no idea what the ‘Tinder Swindler’ is, let me help you with a summary. The ‘Tinder Swindler’ is a Netflix original documentary that narrates the story of a brilliant con man (Simon Leviev), who poses as a billionaire, to defraud unsuspecting ladies who found him on the Tinder dating app.

It was heartbreaking to watch the victims of Simon Leviev’s con narrate their stories. But I could not help but think that all that happened to the ladies could have been avoided. There are many more ‘Simon Levievs’ out there and with the few lessons below, I hope you are well equipped to discern when to smell a rat.

Here are things to learn from the Tinder Swindler

1. Search For Love in the Right Places

Tinder is a popular dating app with millions of users and that was Simon Leviev’s tool for perpetuating his nefarious act of deceit. I have a personal issue with dating apps. I feel dating apps shouldn’t be more than an avenue to introduce someone to you, nothing more. Not an authority on matchmaking, suggesting who is supposed to be a fit you based on a little questionnaire. Many people frequent dating apps to cheat the traditional dating process; meet someone new, become friends, and take time to get to know them.

Dating apps shouldn't be more than an avenue to introduce someone to you, nothing more. Not an authority on matchmaking, suggesting who is supposed to be a fit you based on a little questionnaire. Click To Tweet

Dating relationships are meant to be the result of concrete friendships, that are built over time. But with dating apps like Tinder, the idea is that you can decide on a potential partner, by going through pictures and swiping right or left. A decision that is hugely based on external factors; information and pictures as supplied by the owner of the profile. As the ‘Tinder Swindler’ would teach you, not all that glitters is gold. Things are not always as they appear.

As the ‘Tinder Swindler’ would teach you, not all that glitters is gold. Things are not always as they appear. In this age when it is so easy to fake appearances online, you must seek a more concrete basis for your relationship… Click To Tweet

In this age when it is so easy to fake appearances online, you must seek a more concrete basis for your relationship choices.

Permit me to make this point more specific to believers– there are some places you should not be looking for love at. When the brothers and sisters in your church or the body of Christ have not finished, what are you looking for on Tinder? Find love in the right places and focus on building friendships that lead to relationships.

As believers, find love in the right places and focus on building friendships that lead to relationships. Click To Tweet

2. Stop Rushing

There is no point in rushing into a dating relationship when you have not covered all the necessary bases. You see that ‘talking stage’, it is very vital. The movies have lied to you, it is silly and unrealistic to meet someone and on the first date you are already on the same bed with them. It is almost impossible to build anything serious that way.

There is no point in rushing into a dating relationship when you have not covered all the necessary bases. You see that ‘talking stage’, it is very vital. Click To Tweet

There is a reason why God in his wisdom designed sex to be within the confines of marriage. Sex creates strong bonds between people and clouds their judgments. It is more difficult to rationalize why you have to take loans to the tune of $250,000 for a guy after you have had sex with him. Someone you do not even completely know.

There is a reason why God in his wisdom designed sex to be within the confines of marriage. Sex creates strong bonds between people and clouds their judgments. Click To Tweet

There is a time for everything, there is a time to ask questions and get to know a potential partner. There is a time to start dating after you have confirmed an alignment of values and purpose. Then there is a time when you decide to finally commit to someone in marriage. Do not skip steps out of desperation, you are most likely going to make mistakes and get your heart broken (eat breakfast) that way.

Do not skip steps out of desperation, you are most likely going to make mistakes and get your heart broken that way. Click To Tweet

3. You do not have to be under any Financial Pressure

Many people might disagree with this point, but I stand my ground that no one in a dating relationship must go overboard financially for their partners.

Sharing and exchanging gifts are typical parts of relationships. Notwithstanding, I believe that a relationship that forces you to go beyond your means or take financial risks (taking loans with no plan to pay, allowing your partner to spend on your credit card above the limit….) repeatedly is unhealthy.

No one in a dating relationship must go overboard financially for their partners. Sharing and exchanging gifts are typical parts of relationships. Notwithstanding, I believe that a relationship that forces you to go beyond your… Click To Tweet

I believe that relationships should be accompanied by understanding, especially in the area of finances. It should be a serious red flag where this understanding is none existent.

Can I prophesy? Dear Brother, if you cannot afford that iPhone 13, you cannot afford it and you should say it with your chest. Allow me to clarify that this point goes both ways and is not gender-specific.

I hope the points were helpful, let me know in the comments section. If you have not seen the ‘Tinder Swindler’ I recommend you do.

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A man helped by God, who tells evocative stories.
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