FaithLife

4 Lessons on Overcoming Unhealthy Comparison

I will be a liar if I say that it doesn’t bother me that when I see persons within my age range or even younger than me who seem to have achieved greater success or be at a better place than I am.

So, how do I deal with comparison? How do I handle that funny feeling that wells up inside you when that person you finished school posts the picture of their new ride, or picture from completing their post-graduate certificate, or the picture of their marriage?

Sincerely, this has gotten easier for me over time, to a point I don’t see myself as less successful or trailing in life, even when it seems they are achieving better outward success than me.

How?

1. I have redefined the concept of success beyond earthly achievement or possession.

“Beware! Guard against every kind of greed. Life is not measured by how much you own.” – Luke 12:15

Success is not measured by what you have or how much you own, how often you are able to travel abroad, how popular you are, No.

Success is not measured by what you have or how much you own, how often you are able to travel abroad, how popular you are, No. Click To Tweet

This statement by Jesus was followed by a parable about a Rich man (fool), who after achieving another huge success/harvest, built a bigger store to keep it, saying to himself “You have many goods stored up for many years. Take it easy; eat, drink, and enjoy yourself.” And this Rich man died that night leaving all these wealth behind. And Jesus’ concluding statement is one to really ponder upon; “Yes, a person is a fool to store up earthly wealth but not have a rich relationship with God (but is not rich toward God).” vs 21

This gives me the notion that God defines and judges success very differently than we do here on earth. We see a rich person and we say, “See a successful person”, but God might say, “Oh, see a foolish person”, lol.

God defines and judges success very differently than we do here on earth. We see a rich person and we say, 'See a successful person', but God might say, 'Oh, see a foolish person', lol. Click To Tweet

This is not to say that money or earthly possession or wealth is bad, but when that is all you have or that is what you pursue at the expense to being rich towards God, then you are not rich in God’s term.

What does it mean to be rich towards God? It means does God/heaven count you rich? Does heaven and the kingdom of God feel your impact? Does heaven know you exist?

What does it mean to be rich towards God? It means does God/heaven count you rich? Does heaven and the kingdom of God feel your impact? Does heaven know you exist? Click To Tweet

Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. For on him God the Father has placed his seal of approval.” – John 6:27

“Don’t collect (and store) for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal. – Matt 6:19

What matters to God most, and would rather have us spend our lives on is in the furtherance of the Gospel’s message. His desire is to have all men saved and come to the knowledge of truth. 1 Tim 2:4. How well do I score in that regards?

2. I don’t consider myself poor or less.

I think oftentimes, people struggle with comparison because they think the other person is better, or in a better place than them. As much as I am not born to Jeff Bezos, as much as I have a whole world of things about me and around me that could use some improvement. I also understand that I have a treasure worth more than anything the world has or can offer.

A child who knows his father is the richest won’t go about wishing he has the things his friends show off.

Here is what I am referring to;

“The Kingdom of Heaven is like a treasure that a man discovered hidden in a field. In his excitement, he hid it again and sold everything he owned to get enough money to buy the field. – Matt 13:44

“Again, the Kingdom of Heaven is like a merchant on the lookout for choice pearls. 46 When he discovered a pearl of great value, he sold everything he owned and bought it! – Matt 13:45-46

The kingdom of Heaven, the salvation I possess is so much a treasure that is worth everything a man can own put together. Do you think I see myself poor or disadvantaged with this kind of mentality? Absolutely not. And that is how God will have all believers think. The gospel you have received, eternal life is something worth more than gold. it’s high time you stop seeing yourself disadvantaged. You are richer than any human being on earth who has only earthly riches.

The gospel you have received, eternal life is something worth more than gold. it’s high time you stop seeing yourself disadvantaged. You are richer than any human being on earth who has only earthly riches. Click To Tweet

3. The World doesn’t merely celebrate you for what you have.

So, I know that this point is very subjective, but think about so many people the world celebrates today, people have days and holidays for, people with movements named after them, some of them won’t be qualified if we are to judge only based on earthly possession. But we have come to celebrate these ones, and consider them successful, not for what they had, but for that they spent their life on.

Think about so many people the world celebrates today, people we have days and holidays for, some of them won’t be qualified if we are to judge only based on earthly possession. Click To Tweet

Someone who has a lot of money and possession and does nothing with it will be forgotten not long after they die, or will just become a figure in history for being rich. The end

Someone who has a lot of money and possession and does nothing with it will be forgotten not long after they die, or will just become a figure in history for being rich. The end Click To Tweet

4. Life is personal

Maybe you’ve heard the phrase “Run your own race, stay on your lane”, but it is a fact, our lives on earth is very individualistic. You were born alone, you walk your path alone. And oftentimes, what you are meant to be or have or be doing at any specific time is general. It’s very unique to you. Our path through life is unique to us.

Don’t bother so much about where others are, focus on where you are supposed to be. Improve my all means. Aim for the best, by all means, do your best at every single time and with every single opportunity or resources at your disposal, but at the end of the day, it is your life. It’s you.

Don’t bother so much about where others are, focus on where you are supposed to be. Improve my all means, aim for the best, but at the end of the day, it is your life. It’s you. Click To Tweet

I hope this helps someone. This is not to say you won’t see others more successful in earthly terms than you, that is fine. Celebrate their success, learn from their successes, but don’t define yourself by it.

Money, earthly possession or wealth are not bad, but when that is all you have or that is what you pursue at the expense to being rich towards God, then you are not rich in God’s term. Click To Tweet

Which point most resonated with you? How have you dealt with comparison? Kindly leave a comment, let’s continue the conversation.

While you are here, you’ll love to read; Slow Down, Breathe – Comparison will Just Burn You Out

About author

Articles

Tolulope Oludapo is a young Christian who lends his voice through the media by sharing practical wisdom for everyday living in the most experiential and simplified fashion. This has fetched him the direct followership of over 30,000 users on his blog, lifegiva.com. A blog he founded. He loves to write on varying subjects that affect life, faith, relationship...everyday living.
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