Saying NO is one of the most important yet one of the hardest thing to do in life. And regardless of where you are on this road called ‘Life’, there are so many things you need to ‘Say No’ to.  

People, request, situations… will place demands on you, your mental space, energy, time or resources, but you definitely can not accommodate every request that comes your way… You will just break down, crash, be it mentally, emotionally or even physically. And life will continue like you were not a part of it.

So just to help you ‘choose your struggle’, to know when to say NO, here are a few tips;

1. When You Can’t Afford It

When a request is above your budget, Say No. This does not mean you can not, or will never attend to the request, but you will do so when you have the means to.

This happens often, a request on an outing or lunch, a request to buy something (aso ebi being a very popular one in Nigeria).

Oftentimes, it’s shame or the concern of what people will say or think about you that drive people to accept offers and request that is clearly not within their means. But you need to know that most people who can buy anything without checking their wallet were once at a place where they couldn’t. So, be patient in your process. Hone your process.

But you need to know that most people who can buy anything without checking their wallet were once at a place where they couldn't. So, be patient in your process. Hone your process. Click To Tweet

‘People, let’s be guided ooo’ when you know and you know that you can not afford something Say ‘No’ you are not defined by the things you own.

When a request is above your budget, Say No. Click To Tweet

2. When The Request Is Below Your Value Bar

Ever heard the saying ‘if you stand for nothing you will fall for anything’. The values that run your life (if you don’t have, develop some you need it) should be the yardstick to accept requests or say NO.

So if one core value you live by is integrity, then your friend comes with a request that will deflate that virtue (integrity) Say No.

3. When The Request Will Burn You Out

Let me tell you a small story here, my siblings and I had a playdate (of course that’s not what we called it then… Lol) with another child when it was launch time my older cousin served us eba (cassava flour) enough for four children (our playdate inclusive)  but we were too carried away with the play, Playdate finished the whole eba in one sitting, of course, he was overfed. My cousin then got pissed and made bigger portion of eba for just the three of us now we needed the eating skills of playdate but he said ‘No I am Okay’ regardless of how we begged and teased him, he did not eat more because he had had more than enough.

Moral lesson; Know when you have too much to handle then turn down an extra request. If you feel like a request will burn you out, physically or emotionally, Say No. It doesn’t make you a weakling.

Know when you have too much to handle then turn down an extra request. If you feel like a request will burn you out, physically or emotionally, Say No. Click To Tweet

4. When The Request Is Manipulative/Abusive

Is the request for your best interest? Even if it isn’t, are you being asked nicely? Or you are being coarse or manipulated into saying yes despite that you might not want to?

You can be generous, be sacrificial, but avoid manipulation/abuse request from people. If what they are asking you is manipulative/abusive Say No.

Is the request for your best interest? Even if it isn't, are you being asked nicely? Or you are being coarse or manipulated into saying yes despite that you might not want to? Click To Tweet

5. When The Request Is a Time Waster

Some request from the get-go will not add value to you nor anyone else. You cannot get back your time, so be wise to Say No to a request that will steal time from you.

Some request from the get-go will not add value to you nor anyone else, so be wise and Say No to a request that will steal time from you. Click To Tweet

Saying No is fine, be wise with the things you choose to do and you should Say No to yourself too.

Sometimes we agree to requests or things we know we should not because we are afraid of being the ‘black sheep‘ or we want some kind of validation.

Let me burst your balloon… People are so fickle, if your self worth is tied to someone’s image of you, then you are like the house Jesus said was planted on Sand.

Saying No is fine. Click To Tweet

Cheers!!!!!

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