8 Lies You Have Been Told About Men

I can bet you one thing for sure, quite a lot of what you’ve heard about men are not true. Stereotypes according to dictionary definition us a widely held but fixed and oversimplified image or idea of a particular type of person or thing. They are never generally or publicly acceptable, they are not globally true. Think of all you’ve heard about men as someone’s experience or opinion, but one which they have generalized and projected on all men.

So, let’s reeducate you, here are lies you’ve been told about men;

1. Men are not emotional/Men don’t cry/Masculinity means showing less emotions.

Which ever way you want to put it, it’s just a lie about men. Is it true that men have been told that they are not meant to cry or show emotions like women do? Yes, does this mean they aren’t built to show emotions? No.

I think this lie has made men act more like the society expects them to, than the way they really are. And it’s really bad in a world where showing emotions has been likened to a sign of weakness.

A few years back when I lost my brother, everyone was crying, my mum, my sister, but I was forming strong man, I didn’t cry, partly because I wanted to be strong for my mum and encourage her to stop crying, which I wouldn’t achieve if I was crying, but also because everyone kept saying ‘men don’t cry’. I remember waking up the morning after his demise and I was just crying a river.

Tears is natures way of showing emotions, be it sadness or love, and it has nothing to do with whether you are a man or a woman. Think about it, even animals cry.

Natalie Moore, a psychotherapist, said  that men are capable of experiencing the same range and depth of emotion as women, if they open themselves up to it.

How do we attribute masculinity to showing just rage and violence and shut out every other forms of emotions? I think the fact that we see these today is not a proof of masculine make up, but societal expectation and influence on masculinity.

2. All Men Cheat/Men are more likely to cheat.

I once heard a woman say that it is in men’s nature to cheat on their wives. She used a Yoruba analogy to depict that a man belongs to anybody and nobody, whereas the woman belongs only to her husband.

The hole to this theory is that if we say a man belongs to no one and is free to satisfy his sexual satisfaction from where he deems fit, who is he cheating with? Definitely other women who aren’t his wife.

And not all men cheat. There are many faithful men, manyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

It’s also worth mentioning that there is nothing unique to a man’s physiology that makes him more liable to cheat.

Read more here; The ‘All Men want is Sex’ Stereotype

3. Sex for Men is not emotional

Along the lines of assuming men want sex all the time is the myth that sex is just a physical action for the guy maybe because they don’t need foreplay or prep or because they are ever ready to get down. Make no mistakes sisters! Men have and are in tune with their emotions even when it comes to sex. (Note that this point is only for married people not almost married oh…lol)

You can listen to the first episode of Thirty Minutes with The Perrys for more of this.

4. Men don’t have body image issues

It is a false belief that men do not have similar pressures to women regarding body image. Men deal with the same social pressures and messages as women that to be accepted as pretty or handsome you have to look and act a certain way.

From height to muscles, facial hair etc are features that are generally thought to be the hallmark of an appealing guy or male.

5. Men shouldn’t cook

A female told me the story of what happens in her home growing up. Anytime and every time her brother is hungry and tells their mum, she calls her or any other lady in the house to cook something for him to eat. Note, he wasn’t any younger than her, he wasn’t a minor, neither was he delinquent in any way. To her mum, men aren’t supposed to cook. They can do other chores like washing the car, fixing bulbs, but not cooking because it is a lady’s work.

This isn’t true and it is a very poor way of raising a man. This mindset makes him completely dependent, especially when it comes to something as basic to living as food.

Like we stated in the article; 5 Lies You’ve Been Told About Women, anyone who can eat should learn to cook, even if it’s just the basic meals.

6. All Men are macho

I stumbled on a Netflix about men and masculinity, and a group of boys were asked what being a man meant in their various homes, and there answers were, not crying, resolving everything with violence, playing/being good at sport.

We live in a society that applauds macho male behaviour and uses “boys will be boys” to explain roughness and aggressive attitude of the male gender. It is ideal to praise a man for his ability to perform any kind of household repair or walk with his arms apart like he has a boil under his armpit (oh no, just kidding but you know what I am talking about).

The only problem is that masculinity has absolutely nothing to do with dominance or aggressiveness. Some men are what you will refer to as soft, gentle, quiet both in build, reaction and disposition this does not make them Gay or less of a man.

Which is the major problem with this stereotype. We have seen boys and men who don’t fit in this conventional definition of masculinity are bullied and often ignored and isolated.

7. Men are dirty

This is so not true in fact in the course of my life I have come in contact with quite a number of guys who are very clean I mean clean to the point of showing symptoms of OCD.

8. Men needs a woman arrange/fix his life.

I am a pretty disorganized person, and I have over time said I want to marry a woman who can help me arrange my life. This is also assumed generally seeing that quite a number of women are nurturing in nature, but this doesn’t change the fact that many men have their acts together.

I have friends who are sooooooo organized, gosh! To their things, their schedule, everything.

Here are a few of the popular lies and stereotypes about men, let us know your thoughts about then. And feel free to add more.

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