Are you familiar with the feeling of not being enough or not having it together? Are you familiar with the term Quarter-Life Crisis? Well, I know the feeling too well. As I go through my social media feeds, if one friend is not getting married, another just had a baby or someone started a business or changed jobs. Something is ‘sha’ happening in everyone’s life except mine (at least that’s what I think).
The pressure is more intense if you have an amazing father like mine who calls you up daily to ask how many offices you have visited in a week and gives you one-hour lectures (no jokes o) on what ‘Sunrise Daily’ (channels TV) says about governmental policies and job offers.
In addition, the bank debit alerts remind you that your account is learning to say its numbers (do you know what I mean?😉).
It feels like you are doing everything but you look like you are doing nothing (you know the monkey dey work Baboon dey chop kind of situation)
So yes, even if nobody is saying it, my head space has a way of getting plenty of evidence to show that I am not doing enough.
You see, the major problem is with my focal point. Let me explain. Imagine you walked into a room with red tinted glasses 🕶. Regardless of the true colour of things in the room, because it is not your reality, you would not see right.
So, HEY! The swiftest person does not always win the race, nor the strongest man the battle (Ecclesiastes 9:11 TLB).
The truth is, undertaking an honest evaluation of where you are and where you’re going is essential to living a life of purpose but your lens of judgment should never be another man’s life. I know you have probably heard it too many times but you need to hear it once more: 🚩STAY ON YOUR LANE🚩🚩STAY ON YOUR LANE🚩 Click To Tweet
Be genuinely happy and celebrate with others when they get ahead. However, it is not okay to use their successes or even failures to rate yourself.Be genuinely happy and celebrate with others when they get ahead, but do not use their successes or even failures to rate yourself. Click To Tweet
We are not competing. Stop worrying about what others have or are doing. Instead, grow and appreciate your own strengths and accomplishments. Learn to be better for you.
So everybody is doing “amazing things”. You focus on writing your unique page as that is what makes a complete story.Stop worrying about what others have or are doing. Instead, grow and appreciate your own strengths and accomplishments. Click To Tweet
So, if you are unsure of the next steps in your life or generally scared about what the future has for you, I have shared a few things that helped me below.
– Avoid virtual noise
Without a quarter-life crisis, social media can increase your anxiety. The pressure to “do your own” and “show the world” can be very subtle and deep. Without knowing, it can grow and eat you up from within.
Therefore, it could help to occasionally shut out the virtual world for the sake of your sanity.
– Journaling is bae
For me, journaling is a big deal. It helps me see myself in retrospect.
Write about your frustrations or record a voice note (if you don’t like to write). It can help you pick out underlying worry, emotions, and motives.When facing quarter-life crisis, journal about your frustrations. It can help you pick out underlying worry, emotions, and motives. Click To Tweet
– Prayer is the key
Prayer ( 😁 I have come again). In my case, I just go to a special place I have chosen to have conversations with God.
Sometimes, it feels like He is saying nothing at the moment. At other times, I am led to scriptures that seem to not make sense at the moment. Eventually, all the “not making sense” leads to understanding.
– Patience is a virtue
Finally, be patient with yourself.
Let me tell you a story. When I was younger, I planted my first beans seed. The next day and every day after, I went to check if it had sprouted. I was impatient with my baby (at the time it was my baby 😌) and decided to dig up the seed. I ended its life before it began (🤦🏾♀)
Guess what, after uprooting it, I discovered that the seed had started to grow underneath.
The fact that I could not see my bean plant did not mean that it was not growing.
Similarly, when you cannot see visible changes in your life, it does not imply that you are not getting better. I encourage you to keep at it and your profiting will be made known.
Dear readers, you (and God of course) are responsible for your journey. Keep moving regardless of who passes you because you can and you must.