I have in recent times heard funny stories of how sisters and even brothers leave the people in the church and marry outsiders. Or how they marry people who were in church but the church was not in them AKA wolves in sheep clothing. I have pondered on this matter in my mind for a while now.
Sometimes also not so long ago, I was privileged to teach some brethren on these relationship topics from the Bible’s standpoint (of course). One of the questions I was asked by this sister was: “Why are church boys boring?” She was asking that question partially as a response to a question asked earlier on why believers marry outside the fold… There were a couple of reactions to that. Some laughter, coughing, and all that. I did give my answer though and I would share it on here too.
But before then, I did an informal survey. I asked a couple of sisters what their thoughts were so I’d just put their thoughts here. I did promise to make it anonymous. But these are from church girls (sisters) across denomination and tribe…
Sister S: No, I don’t find them boring. I actually think they are particularly interesting. I have a lot of them as friends and I find them the most interesting beings and also safest beings. Not being they are just church boys but because I know the quality of the word that has been invested in their lives. Also, the problem might be the definition of boring, if boring means having chilled hangouts, cracking bible jokes, studying the word together? Then yes, they are boring and so am I
Sister C: Yes, but not all Church boys. Just the hypocritical ones really. Like, you could just be trying to be practical while explaining things and next thing uncle is binding and casting spirit in you *rolling my eyes* I would give an instance, there was one Ed-Sheeran’s song that came out one time and I was talking about how nice the lyrics were and a certain Church boy started chastising me saying I shouldn’t know the song as a Christian like I should cover my ears on the road and I was like “someone cannot even play with this uncle” and that was how I started withdrawing.
Sister F: When I hear church boys, the first set of people that come to my mind are them instrumentalists (lol, because I am a music person!) But then apart from just instrumentalists and choristers, my best people to ever hang out with are church boys. Why? They get me totally, we can play and play and still hold hands and pray the next minute. For me, hanging out with unbelievers and having to play cool and act like you’re okay with some of their Jokes or stories is just tiring (I’m not saying we shouldn’t reach out to them) but my believer boys are a safe haven, you don’t have to pretend to be who I’m not.
Sister I: I think a lot of them are pretty cool actually. We just always have this picture in our head that they’re dead guys. I’ve met a lot of fun church guys, but it had to take me dropping that stereotype that they’re dead. So, my answer is no. I do not think they’re boring.
Sister T: Being boring most times is as a result of a person’s personality and I also would be judging from my own personality. For me, a believer is interesting to me- especially one who has paid due diligence to the study of the word.
But then I also live in this world so I would have some interests outside the faith. To some other person, knowing too much scripture is boring but not to me. So boring in this regards is not necessarily a case of being a believer or not but the person’s personality and the other person’s definition of boring.
If a church boy is boring, it can either mean: he is pretending because of unrealistic standards of what a believer should do and not do or your definition of boring is based on your views and is different from every other person.
Sister M: (Lol) Church boys are relative but no I don’t find church boys boring. Especially if they know the Word of God and not just know it but do it. You have such stimulating and interesting conversations with them. Although nowadays when you describe a ‘church boy’ it has come to mean a guy that isn’t romantic or doesn’t know how to have fun. Which is wrong anyway.
There are so many different types that you can’t fit them into one category. There are boys that think being a true Christian is not having any fun, hence they become boring. There are also boys that are only religious but don’t really know the Word of God though they know how to have fun and all. I personally would get bored of these ones because I honestly like to talk about God. There are the ones that know the Word of God but somehow are just too upright. They need someone to throw them inside lagoon small so that they can loosen up (lol). But really if you get the gist about God, you won’t be dry like that.
Sister J: Okay so here’s my answer 😊. A few years ago I used to think church boys are boring. I even dated one which I regret with all my sweat, and he was boring beyond the words. But what attracted me to him was the whole “Church boy thing”. He played a key role in church activities so he was sociable, but just had no personality. I think at that phase of life, (20-25) some guys are still trying to develop in terms of personality, not just Christian guys but all guys. So they start being more ” desirable ” when they become confident in themselves. So fast forward to now, years later, I actually really find most of the Christian guys in my circle really really funny, fun, super interesting and just awesome! Infact I speak with them more than my female friends even. They’re 24+ years. So I think there are definitely boring Christian guys out there, but that’s just due to lack of development in character and personality.
Who is ready?! Lol…
Okay, these amazingggg ladies have answered wonderfully well. I’ll just wrap it all up.
Firstly, I do not know a single believer who truly gets the gospel that is boring, not one! What a lot of ladies categorize as boring church boys are most times the religious folks who think we are accepted by God because of our acts. So they try to keep up and they now scatter everything. Lol
But nothing is farther from the truth. Jesus didn’t come to give us a religion and we aren’t counted righteous by God because of our acts.
Plus you really can’t separate your spiritual life from your everyday life. I was at an overnight concert one time with one of my sisters from church. I hadn’t seen her in a while so we spent all night gisting and laughing. By morning, another friend of mine who sat close to us said to me “I like how you and your friend really love God. You guess just kept talking about Jesus…” In my mind, I was wondering but the truth is we spoke about boys, jobs, school, our moms – everything! But then like I said. you can’t separate your spiritual life from other areas of your life. If you try to do so, you end up looking like a hypocrite.
There is nothing wrong in taking bae (if you have) or friends to the cinemas or theater so long as the movies/play shown doesn’t counter your faith. Nothing wrong in going to the park or attending concerts, stage plays and shows. Again, I do not encourage being a part of something clearly not in line with God’s standards just for fun. For instance, even though I really love music, you won’t find me in a music show where the artiste is singing and dancing to ungodly songs (songs with vulgar, anti-God, unedifying lyrics).
I once heard of someone who said she can’t go to the cinemas because there are plenty sinners there. And I asked, “Are the sinners at schools, hospitals and even on the road? Do we now leave it for them?”
For some people, I am even going too far. Ordinary smile, mba. They’d always wear long faces and I’m always bothered for them. If God can laugh (Psalm 2), who are you to be always tight-faced?
Jesus on his earthly journey wasn’t a stuck up person. He was ‘chilled’. That way, he was able to reach even the sinners. If He was a stuck up person, none of these people would have been to meet with Him.
Take a look at how He was able to preach the Gospel to the woman at the well. Even the way He presented the case alone…. not in a judgmental way and her life was changed forever. If Jesus was like some today, when the Alabaster box woman came to wash his feet with tears and wipe it with her hair, he would have jumped up and started casting and binding. Our example, Jesus was found with even the poor, the tax collectors and many of them were turned from their ways because of Him.
I hope this is not misunderstood.
We are in this world but not of this world. Yet, we need to find a way to infiltrate the world with our light – that’s why when we become born again, we don’t automatically fly to heaven. There is work to be done and that work will not be done in the church alone.
Anyways, brothers and sisters, the summary of it all is this: the kingdom of God is not boring. Do not be stuck up. God has given us all things to enjoy and we do it to his glory.
Be creative and godly in defining your own fun.
So guys, I’d really love to know what you think. Brothers, do you think you guys are boring? Sisters, do you think our brothers are boring? Enough of sisters going outside of the fold. Let’s take these issues one by one as God would help us.
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