I’m almost wishing I didn’t go home to spend the holiday with my African parents. All because of my beard.
Most African parents have one thing in common, and top on the list is their adage that puts them in a better position of being wiser than you, where you know nothing and they know everything, where you are never right and they are never wrong, and where you have no right to turn down their request even if it is out-rightly not your desire. And the adage is “No matter the number of cloths a child possesses, he can never have more rags than the older folks“, or a different derivative, “What a child sees standing up, the elders see sitting down“. All to drive the point that they know more than you by experience.
This I don’t argue. When it comes to general life experiences, we don’t know more than our parents. How can we match the years they have lived. But the truth is that “some” of these experiences are obsolete.
I’m trying to pick my words carefully, so you won’t use this as a leverage to amplify your folly and youthful exuberance.
Note: What I said might have gone obsolete are some of their experiences. Some things don’t go into extinction, one of them is “truth”, another is “wisdom”, those and some others stand the test of time and will forever be relevant, otherwise why do we still read the works of men like King David, Napoleon Hill, C.S. Lewis and even the Holy Bible, they offer truth and wisdom that are still relevant in this age.
No matter what time and age will find ourselves, crime, immorality, vanity, conceit…can never become acceptable. But still, some experiences or even “situation/field-specific wisdom” are obsolete.
For instance, job and career; except for a parent abreast with recent trends and up to date on the state of the present labour market, they wouldn’t know that what it takes to position yourself right now isn’t what it was 30 years ago. The advent of social media for instance has introduced thousands of new career fields that weren’t in existence just 10 years ago.
I don’t intend to prolong this post more than necessary, but to all parents out there reading, I hope you won’t find this advice too immature and lacking experience.
Please don’t don’t impose upon us what to do or not to do, where to go and not to go, what to wear and not to wear, but guide us with wisdom.
Instead of saying “don’t wear that dress or don’t date that boy, show us why, and please don’t let it be based on personal prejudice or sentiment, because we can perceive those very well.
And please, concerning the “threat” tool (if you don’t do what I say, I’ll do this and that)…it might work while we are still dependent on you, but it causes three side effects;
1. We live a fake life, (a chameleon) under your roof.
2. We’ll keep things from you.
3. And when we finally gain our freedom, we’ll hardly look back.
And guess who we’ll blame for all these? You.