My friend just sent me one of her pre-wedding pictures. She and her boo looked so happy- they both looked like a good reason to ask ‘God, when?’ While I was so happy for my friend, there were chatters going on in my inside with words that can be summed up to one sentence, ‘I wish it was me’. I began to feel a mixture of joy on one hand for my friend, and jealousy on the other hand that it’s not me getting married, or about to get married.
It may not be a pre-wedding shoot for you. It could be something as tiny as you longing, praying hard and preparing hard for something- when suddenly, someone you consider unworthy gets this privilege. Painfully, you have to be happy for such a person (if you know him or her).
I understand the subtle jealousy you’d feel- that tiny little feeling of envy that comes up in your heart when you see your friend or someone get something you have always wanted. Even when you are genuinely happy for them and what they have achieved, you still find your heart battling with envy.
To end the struggle on my end – or so I thought- I became indifferent to joyful news (is that even healthy?). However, I went to God and explained how I felt- how I really wanted some things and it looked like everyone else was getting everything I asked for, except me. I told Him that I could not even be genuinely happy because I felt guilty for being jealous. God, in His infinite mercies, pointed me to a few things that I know will be helpful to you as well:
– The value of my journey is not measured by the achievement of others.
In a track race, everybody has a lane and regardless of the track’s curve, you need to stick to your own lane. Jealousy gains entrance into our hearts when we use other people’s achievements as a yardstick to measure our lives. It is not you against anyone else. Maintain your lane and let everyone maintian theirs.Jealousy gains entrance into our hearts when we use other people's achievements as a yardstick to measure our lives. Click To Tweet
– When you feel envious about someone, pray for the person.
This one can feel very hard, but thank God for the Holy Spirit. Romans 5 vs 5 says …because the love of God hath been poured forth in our hearts through the Holy Spirit that hath been given to us. You are a love being. You have the ability to dispense the love- so show your love via praying. The next time envy rises up in your heart, consciously thank God for the person and what God is doing in and through them.The next time envy rises up in your heart, consciously thank God for the person and what God is doing in and through them. Click To Tweet
– Count your blessings.
Gratitude does not allow envy thrive in our hearts- so, be intentionally grateful for the little things. True, you may not be where you want to be but I can bet there is at least one thing you can be thankful for. Keep your heart stayed on those things.Gratitude does not allow envy thrive in our hearts- so, be intentionally grateful for the little things. Click To Tweet
– Our lives are not in the multitude of things.
Joy is a fruit of the spirit and it is not measured by the things we have; this is not to be insensitive to how you feel but it is not wise to build your joy around things you “own” (what do you really own?). Things won’t always go your way, and your life is worth more than the job, money, boyfriend/girlfriend, promotion, and so on.Your life is worth more than the job, money, boyfriend/girlfriend, promotion, and so on. Click To Tweet
– Don’t deny what you feel.
It is very okay to desire things and be disappointed when you don’t get them. However, what is not okay is to deny how you feel. Accountability helps us put our feelings in perspective and deal with the negative ones. Remember, you have the spirit of God on your inside and every fruit of that spirit is at work in you. Work it out! And work it well!It is very okay to desire things and be disappointed when you don’t get them. However, what is not okay is to deny how you feel. Click To Tweet
Thank you for reading. What has helped you handle jealousy? We’ll love to read it, please, leave a comment,