Getting pregnant outside of marriage creates a lot of complications and uncertainty. You’re asking yourself hundreds of questions, your body is rapidly changing, plus pregnancy does not hide, so time is not even your friend now.

Being pregnant before marriage has so many twists to it, I know you are terrified and don’t know what to do probably also don’t know who to tell.

Whatever you end up choosing for this pregnancy, please make sure you don’t let pressure, fear, shame and the likes be your yardstick for making a decision with consequences that will span a lifetime.

I also understand that the dynamics of the circumstances surrounding the pregnancy of an unmarried person can affect the choices and options available plus you have to put everything and everyone that is important into consideration.

Whatever you end up choosing for this pregnancy, please make sure you don't let pressure, fear, shame and the likes be your yardstick for making a decision with consequences that will span a lifetime. Click To Tweet

Here are a few suggestions on the next step to take.

1. Forget about what people would think

The thought of what people may think of you or what they would have to say could be very suffocating. At the crossroad where you are at, people will talk but you can’t base your decisions on other people’s perception because guess what you would live with your decision but they won’t.

People will talk but you can't base your decisions on other people's perception because guess what you would live with your decision but they won't. Click To Tweet

2. Try not to panic

I know you are scared and unsure of what your next move or what the right move should be but don’t let worry or fear fuel your behaviour or response. If you need to take some time to take in air and let it out (breath) before you think about what to do and how, it’s fine. What is not okay to let panic or worry fuel your decision. This brings me to the next  

3. Forgive yourself

‘Regardless of your role or the absence thereof’. There is the tendency for you to regret your actions and constantly beat yourself, which might lead to depression, self-hatred and self-pity. This is not the best disposition. You are here, forgive yourself. You haven’t committed the unforgivable sin. And guess what? God is willing and has made provision to forgive you and forget you ever sinned. Jesus died for that, so treat yourself with the same grace God has treated you with. 

Forgive yourself. You haven’t committed the unforgivable sin. And guess what? God is willing and has made provision to forgive you and forget you ever sinned. Jesus died for that. Click To Tweet

4. Speak to someone you can trust

You would need someone who can help you process this life-changing step, if you do not trust your parents or people around you to respond supportively, you can talk to someone who you can trust although you have to eventually tell your parents because you need all the support you can get although they may not give you the response you were expecting but remember it will be okay.

5. Get expert advice/counsel

To make the best decision you need to seek professional counsel, be it from a medical personnel, counsellor, gynaecologist, etc but you need to know all your options, make assessments so that you can make an informed decision.

To make the best decision you need to seek professional counsel, be it from a medical personnel, counsellor, gynaecologist...but you need to know all your options so that you can make an informed decision. Click To Tweet

6. Do not feel obligated to jump into marriage

You don’t have to marry the father of your child if you don’t want to or you’re not ready to settle down. Marriage is a lifelong commitment which makes it a big deal, yes a child is on the way but it is not reason enough to get married or move in with the father.

Especially if the man is not ready to accept the child, or ready to be a father. Or worse case, in the situation of rape.

Don’t add to the mistake already on ground.

Marriage is a lifelong commitment which makes it a big deal, yes a child is on the way but it is not reason enough to get married or move in with the father. Click To Tweet

7. Should you keep the baby or not?

This is definitely the biggest dilemma on this subject, and it is not a small one at all.

What will people say about you? Are you even ready for this phase of life…and oftentimes abortion is the best solution, it seems to take away the root of the problem.

Yes, abortion is not God’s will, it is killing a person. But I won’t tell you not to get one, what I will say instead is this; don’t make a decision base on the way you feel right now. Don’t seek for the temporary solution, don’t look for the means that will take the pain and heartache you feel right now away. Seek for a more last solution, one you will look back at in 20 years and be happy you made because whatever you choose there may be consequences.

Put God’s will before yours, and He will definitely give you the strength to stand in this storm.

Don't seek for the temporary solution, don't look for the means that will take the pain and heartache you feel right now away. Seek for a more last solution, one you will look back at in 20 years and be happy you made. Click To Tweet

Pastor John Piper said this in answering a similar question; “Your pregnancy is not a sin. The sin that brought the pregnancy, if it did, is no less forgivable than my sins or the sins of those in your church. Your experience of that forgiveness through repentance and faith in Jesus can become a mighty testimony to the beauty of Christ. And that child can grow up in the beauty of Christ and become great.” (Read more here; https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/is-it-sinful-to-be-pregnant-before-marriage

Your pregnancy is not a sin. The sin that brought the pregnancy, if it did, is no less forgivable than my sins or the sins of those in your church. And that child can grow up in the beauty of Christ and become great. Click To Tweet

We’ll also recommend this article by Jackie Hill Perry; To a Woman Considering Abortion

We hope we have been able to give a little light on this very sensitive subject. We would love for you to also share your one cent as a comment below, help give life.

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