Everybody has a past. However, some people have darker pasts and an unpleasant result of such past could be the feeling of guilt. On one hand, the feeling of guilt could be a blessing because such feelings push us towards God. Pain (physical, psychological and even spiritual) always pushes us to find out what is wrong and then we find ourselves tending closer towards the source of healing.
We all strive for perfection but we also sadly stumble along the path to finding perfection. There are times we become lackadaisical about different phases of our lives and only come to appreciate it later in life. Our spiritual journey differs from the next person’s, our stories are different. Some people go from sinful to saint-full, while some from saint-full to sinful to saint-full again and then back and forth till they finally make a decision on where to plant their feet.
Our mind is very powerful and active. The brain is very powerful and most times requires only a similar sound and frequency to bring back memories that were supposedly buried. Memories keep recirculating when all you want is for them to disappear. When your mind isn’t doing the journey down the memory lane itself, some person keeps reminding you of this person you used to be. All these make it even harder to get over your past because it feels there is a constant reminder that pulls back to thinking you’ve lived the worst life or made the worst mistake. `I think, therefore, I am’ ; what you think is what you become.
Your thoughts about yourself matter the most and you need to feed these thoughts positively because your thoughts affect your words and in turn affects your action. Truth is that what happened in your past wouldn’t change but you change what you give power to.
When you look with great clarity, you will see that the past doesn’t exactly exist. Everything that happens only happens in the present – it can’t be any other way. Memories of events are thoughts occurring in the present. Your present moment experience is what keeps the past alive. It means your way out is always in the present.
You can change your perspective and focus on something different. If you want to heal from the past, put your attention on your present moment experience. ‘Freedom is what you do with what has been done to you’- Jean Paul Sartre.
In overcoming and outliving our mistakes that continue to flood our minds and continually push us in the light of guilt is true repentance. We have to truly feel wrong for the wrongs we have done. ‘Old habits die hard’ but we have to constantly strive to plant our feet where we truly want to be. Repentance is an everyday thing. We are not made perfect although created by a perfect creator.
You must learn to grow in self-acceptance, accepting yourself and everything about yourself. You alone are responsible for your happiness and you must learn to take full responsibility for it.
You can’t undo or redo the past, the deed has been done. You shouldn’t ignore or stuff up feelings , it creates even bigger problems and you definitely cannot wallow endlessly in your emotions. Instead, read good books, get good friends, eat good food. Above all you must learn to love yourself, leaning towards the Almighty Healer.
You must learn to appreciate that God loves all your flaws and wants you to grow everyday into a better person. You must always remember that you are a wonderful and an even more beautiful creature with exceeding grace by a perfect and forgiving creator.
Cultivate that fire for internal peace and ease that serves you well.