If you know you know, but I mean no disrespect. A stereotype is a widely held but fixed and oversimplified image or an idea of a particular type of person or thing. Most times stereotypes are hurtful to the groups they are targeted at. If you are Nigerian and you still can’t relate let me help you: ‘Yoruba people are dirty’, ‘Igbo people are dubious’, ‘Hausa people are violent’, ‘Edo people are witches’,‘Calabar girls are randy’, ‘Urhobo men are irresponsible drunks’…….Let me stop there because I am sure you get the point by now. Those are examples of stereotypes that have been bandied for decades and have done so much harm to our mutual trust and national unity. The prevailing problem with these stereotypes is that they are made based on generalizations and most times generalizations are false representations.
Okay, let us bring it home to the topic. Below are some of my issues with the statement ‘all men want is sex’:
– If all Men wanted was Sex, then nothing else means anything to us
The implications of saying all men want out of their social interactions with the opposite gender is sex is that potentially every man who meets a woman just wants to sleep with her. Trying to fit every man in this box is hurtful and despicable.
Do you realise that if all men wanted was sex, only prostitutes would have male friends. Follow my logic here, why would I as a man waste my time speaking to women who might not give me the only thing I really want, when I know a group of women offering the very thing I want. You would agree with me that if it is all I want, no cost or repercussion is too high. But this is not the case, in fact, if I use myself as an example, sex has never been the reason I have made a female friend. But I am a man and there are many more men like me.Do you realise that if all men wanted was sex, only sex workers would have male friends. Click To Tweet
As a Christian man, my most important motivation for making friends is shared values and beliefs, not a chance to get into a woman’s pants. But saying ‘all men want is sex’, reduces our motivation as a group to just sex. So it doesn’t matter what a man does, all he really wants is sex. That means any kind gesture by a man in the direction of a woman is for sex.Saying ‘all men want is sex’, reduces our motivation as a group to just sex. So it doesn’t matter what a man does, all he really wants is sex. That means any kind gesture by a man in the direction of a woman is for sex. Click To Tweet
If you can paint a picture of this in your mind, this world would be a more terrible place than it already is. This leads me to my next point.
– It Creates a Terrible, Somewhat Beastly impression of Men
Such statements like ‘all men want is sex’, actually portray men in general, in a very bad light. The truth is, sex was created as a gift by God, to be enjoyed in marriage. But on the contrary, sex was not the major reason man was created. This is why some men willfully choose the path of celibacy for higher and nobler causes. This wouldn’t make sense if all men wanted was sex.
Men were created for so much more. The problem is as more men are told that all they want is sex, they buy into the idea and go ahead to live out the stereotype. This is very limiting and obnoxious. We need more men who can be held to higher standards and don’t see every opportunity with the opposite sex as an opportunity to get laid.The problem is as more men are told that all they want is sex, they buy into the idea and go ahead to live out the stereotype. Click To Tweet
I believe God demands more from men and their relationships than just their abilities to have sex. Especially as Christian men, who have self-control as a virtue. Please let us change the narrative, let us do away with the harmful stereotypes, so that people can be motivated to do better.
Thank you for reading, I will like to know your thoughts in the comments section.