Nigerian Rapper, Falz, released a single titled ‘Talk’. In it he addressed a pertinent issue about “transactional sex”, which involves an exchange between a wealthy man (willing to part with his money) and a woman (willing to part with her body). The focus is on women who are willing to offer their bodies (in terms of sex) to wealthy men who are willing to give them money in return.
In the late 90s, transactional sex involved a wealthy man, whose sexual desires could be fulfilled by an economically incapacitated female in exchange for money. However, this narrative has changed- especially in the 20th century. We now have a range of persons- both wealthy and impoverished, who are ready to fulfill any sexual gratification- if they will be paid for it. You may say, ‘this is safe, as far as both parties are in agreement and get what they want at the end’. However, is there ever an end to such transactions?
In my opinion, there won’t be an end, because any profitable transaction (whether legal or illegal) will one day thrive to become a ‘full-scale’ business. In this present dispensation, we have ‘sugar daddies, sugar mummies, baby mamas’- the list of innovations in this enterprise is yet to come to a halt.
What then, seems to be the reasons for ‘transactional sex’ and are they really justifiable? Let us run through some reasons I have in mind:
1. Dissatisfaction with standards of living:
People who offer to gratify sexual desires do it because they are in need of money to make ends meet. However, some are able to cater for themselves financially but are dissatisfied with their current financial status hence wanting more- another term for greed. However, no one on this earth can completely satisfy our desires, because they were not created to.
Only the God who created us knows what we need at every point in our lives and is able to make provisions for such needs to be met. Moreover, we are admonished to avoid ‘covetousness’ and be content with whatever we have because God will never forsake us- even in tough times (Hebrews 13:5).No one on this earth can completely satisfy our desires, because they were not created to. Click To Tweet
2. The ‘scratchers’ syndrome:
There are those laden with so much money, to the extent that they feel they are the solution to a woman (or man’s) poor economic condition- on the basis that their sexual desires be met. To offer money in return for sex (because the other party is in need of financial assistance) is tantamount to taking advantage of someone’s needy situation and this isn’t right.
As Christians, we are called to be our brother’s keeper, not our brother’s killer. This is not to say that one should have sex outside matrimony- even if it is offered for free; the emphasis is against taking advantage of someone’s disadvantaged situation.To offer money in return for sex (because the other party is in need of financial assistance) is tantamount to taking advantage of someone's needy situation and this isn't right. Click To Tweet
3. The insurers’ syndrome:
In the late 90s, a number of people (who I term ‘insurers’) focused on guaranteeing their protection or safety in a marriage relationship by finding out if they were individually satisfied with their partner’s sexual prowess and status. It required the male to get sexually intimate with his soon-to-be wife in a bid to know whether she was a virgin or not. It also helped the lady’s family know (to an extent) if the male was impotent or not. Some of the principles guiding such archaic thoughts still live with us today. Some ladies still use sex (in a bid to get pregnant) to trap a guy they’re interested. Others want to be sure that the person they have romantic feelings for can satisfy their sexual desires.
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The terms of sex are too complex an issue to be determined by the human mind. The chemistry in the physical consummation between male and female were designed to be completely flawless, and we know that even man at his best couldn’t come up with the idea of ‘sex’ or even create the ‘terms’ and ‘conditions’.
God, in His infinite mercies, created sex as a gift and by-product of a relationship between a husband and wife who loved each other as He (God) had loved them both.God, in His infinite mercies, created sex as a gift and by-product of a relationship between a husband and wife who loved each other as He (God) had loved them both. Click To Tweet
Seeing that God wills for sexual intimacy to be exercised ONLY within matrimony, transactional sex becomes incongruent with God’s will. Sex isn’t a transaction; it is a gift, and a by-product for two people (a man and a woman) who love each other sacrificially and are willing to trust each other for the rest of their lives- and make a commitment to do so via matrimony.Seeing that God wills for sexual intimacy to be exercised ONLY within matrimony, transactional sex becomes incongruent with God's will. Click To Tweet
Written by Stephen Fasanye
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