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What Exactly Is The Big Deal About Pre-Marital Sex?

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In this matter of sexual purity, there are many excuses that seek to challenge its relevance in today’s world.

It really doesn’t matter what you do with the body, God looks at the heart would be the excuse for some.

Some people would justify pre-marital sex because of concerns around sexual compatibility

Others are convinced that since it’s 2019 and the world has evolved, God couldn’t possibly have meant sex to be within the confines of marriage alone.

Well, this isn’t as surprising. We are in the last days where the enemy clearly is working so hard to dilute the authenticity of God’s word and give sin a fancy outlook such that people are lured to be receptive to sin.

However, it is important to know that the truth of God’s word is not subject to political correctness or the year we are in. God is the same yesterday, today and forever. God is not bound by space or time so when He says A, we should understand that A is not subject to things such as time.

The first reason why we should reserve sex for marriage and marriage alone is because God says so.

God’s stance on sex is very clear throughout the bible – Sex is for the marriage bed alone. There’s no argument about this. Having sex outside of marriage is trespassing and it is sin. Click To Tweet

Another reason why pre-marital sex is a big deal is, it affects you as an individual.

When God gives an instruction, we need to understand that He isn’t asking us to do Him or the pastor a favour. Click To Tweet

Sexual purity is for your preservation – body, heart, and spirit. Pre-marital sex, masturbation, pornography, and the likes are legitimate threats to marriages all around the world even those of unbelievers.

The commandments of God are as boundaries that protect us from the world and ourselves. Click To Tweet

Here is a list of some non-church reasons why pre-marital sex is not good for you so that it is clear that this isn’t about us doing the church a favour. It is for your good.

  • Sex messes with your mind.

When sex happens, it produces chemicals such as oxytocin, dopamine, and vasopressin. These chemicals create a bond between you and whatever that sex pleasure is coming from (whether human or your phone screen) and it can be very addictive. So even when you wish to break out, the process is so emotionally draining that you’d rather just remain glued. This can be very messy especially when the partner is clearly not for you.

Pre-marital sex clouds your judgement. That leaves you in danger of making a mistake of one of the most important decisions in your life. Click To Tweet

  • Couples who engage in pre-marital sex stand the risk of having multiple sexual partners before marriage.

There is really no guarantee that you would be marrying somebody until you actually marry the person. The more sexual partners you have before marriage, the greater the likelihood for you to be discontent with your partner in marriage, as you’d keep comparing him/her to your previous partners which is such an unfair standard to use on anyone.

The more sexual partners you have before marriage, the greater the likelihood for you to be discontent with your partner in marriage. Click To Tweet
  • There is also the likelihood that those who engage in pre-marital sex would engage in adultery.

I mean, if you cannot exercise self-control before marriage, what is the likelihood that when you’re married you would have self-control? Honestly, there would be times when you cannot have sex with your spouse maybe because he/she traveled, is ill or just tired, what would you do when these times come? Self-control is a virtue that needs to be groomed while you’re still single.

  • Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) are on the rise.

STDs would be totally non-existent if everyone had sex with just their spouse.

Also, I came across some interesting statistics. PS: This isn’t statistics among Christians alone.

  • Couples who cohabit are 250% more likely to be divorced in their first 5 years than those who do not co-habit
  • 90% of people who live together first do not end up getting married. And if they do, 80% of them get divorced. In the end, there’s only a 2% success rate for a healthy marriage if you live together first
  • Divorce rate for couples is 50%, but 9% if both partners are virgins before marriage. If you wait till you’re married to have sex, chances that you would get a divorce is 70% lower!
Divorce rate for couples is 50%, but 9% if both partners are virgins before marriage. If you wait till you’re married to have sex, chances that you would get a divorce is 70% lower! Click To Tweet

So you see again, it isn’t just a “church” thing. Pre-marital sex is not healthy at all. Plus God doesn’t approve of it (which should be the ultimate reason why a believer should abstain).

Ladies and gentlemen, I hope with these few thoughts of mine, I’ve been able to “convince” you and not “confuse” you that pre-marital sex should be avoided at all costs. Thank you 😊

Ozioma Paul

Things We Wish We Knew Before We Got Married – Loveology

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1 Comment

  1. Thanks for sharing, how about,’making out’. How does one set boundaries?

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