What's Your Priority – Wedding? or Marriage?

Wedding Ceremony

The rate at which people are getting married is very alarming. Not like I am hating people that are in this category. Come on! I share in their joy!!

Although, somewhere in my mind, I only see excitements in most wedding ceremonies, and I wonder if they are really joyful about tying the knot, or the knot is tying them, giving them some stony hard and painful swallows in the oesophagus, and they try to fake a smile for the people (parents, families, friends, and guests), and for the camera too. That’s some great act to pull off!

Okay, let’s cut to the chase. Which is your priority, the wedding ceremony or the marriage itself?

Indian-themed Nigerian Wedding

I see people struggle in making one priority over the other. I mean, who doesn’t want a bedazzling wedding, and a great married life to top it all up?

Sadly, it seems we have gotten it twisted somewhere along the way. The topping is actually the wedding ceremony, not the marriage.

Let’s throw in some reality. I will try not to kill the fantasies.

It is a great thing to desire a bedazzling, talk of the town wedding ceremony. But these days, I see many people not thinking marriage through, which is in actual sense, THE REAL DEAL.

The REAL DEAL – Marriage in the Light of Eternity

I understand that to those of us that are balling big time, money isn’t a problem when it comes to having a Bella Naija size of wedding ceremony. But, given whatever justifications you have for making seriously huge investment and critical plans for your big day,  it’s very tricky to easily lose sight of the main priority (The REAL DEAL – Marriage in the Light of Eternity).

On the other hand, I hear people decide to go ahead with wedding plans because parents, aunts, uncles, family friends and well wishers promise to sponsor the expenses.. What about the marriage expenses? Will these people be so glad to sponsor your marriage expenses too?

There is a wide difference between having a wedding ceremony and having a marriage. This whole marriage thing doesn’t start and end at the wedding ceremony. In actual sense, it starts after the wedding ceremony is ended.

Let’s think things through together, shall we?

The wedding ceremony process involves loads of planning and expenses. Talk of the pre-wedding photo-shoots, to the wedding gown, the train, the groom’s wear, the cake, the flower girl(s), the ring bearer(s), the reception, the entourage, the food and drinks, the photographer and MC bills, the expense list is almost as numerous as you can desire.

Marriage and Family

The marriage preparation process requires from us much more than we can ever wrap our heads around in one day or two days occasion. Imagine you having to share EVERYTHING with this person for the REST OF YOUR LIFE.

There’s the expense list too: House (Rent, in most cases), monthly utility bills, feeding and healthcare, children’s spending, school fees (from primary to university), emergencies, and so on. Oh! I mustn’t miss out on the pregnancy and childbearing processes too. That’s a lot of energy, time and resources, I tell you.  

I am not trying to get us overwhelmed. But, truthfully, many of us get “wedded”, being completely blind to these future realities.

During the relationship/ courting period, what we see in each other is our personality. After the wedding ceremony when we have completely settled in and familiarity is the order of the day, what we see then is our character- most especially the things we don’t like about each other. Then we find  have ourselves striving daily, deciding to keep our love aflame without any form of irritability.  

Couple talking and holding hands

We hustle to give so much energy , time and resources to having a great wedding. How much of the same investment do we give into having a great marriage- From saving up for our future lives together (guys, and ladies especially, we need to rectify our financial habits), to investing into ourselves in order to bear healthy fruits of character, and ultimately defining what this union (marriage) should reflect and how it would matter in the light of eternity?

Okay… Let me stop here. That’s just a little peep into reality. I promised not to kill the fantasies. I really hope I didn’t.

But, in all sincerity of heart, ask yourself, “What’s my priority – the wedding or the marriage?”