Feeling low, feeling down, feeling sad, unmotivated, depressed…no matter what you call it, we all get there one time or the other, and we all deal with it differently, some deal with it well, some, not so well, actually many deals with feeling low pretty bad.
Often times when we are in these kinda situations, we are not ourselves, we aren’t likely to be in our right minds and at our best, and this directly tells on our decisions and reactions to people and events.
From personal times of feeling low and talking to a lot of friends and helping them out, I have found out these trends; ways we deal with feeling low that aren’t helping you at all.
1. Listening to Depressive Music
When we are feeling low, we often change our playlist, we seek out a different kind of songs, songs we think reflects what we are going through.
For instance, you’ll probably start listing to Adele or Ed Sheeran after an heartbreak and you’ll probably do some heavy metal rock song when you are angry.
But in reality, these songs don’t help you through these situations, they sink you deeper into the pain and the hurt, they remind you of exactly what you are trying to get over.Depressive songs don’t help you through difficult situations, they sink you deeper into the pain and the hurt, they remind you of exactly what you are trying to get over. Click To Tweet
What should you do instead? Seek out songs that lift you up, that encourages you.
For instance, you lose your job or failed a test, don’t go for the songs that say how hard life is, and unfair people are, go for the ones that tell you to try again, to hold on, to fight harder. Songs that remind you of the strength and abilities you have in you. Like Andy Mineo’s “You Can’t Stop Me”, or Mali Music’s “Walking Shoes” or the popular Hillsong’s “Oceans”.
Look to the songs that spur you to actions like prayer, not the ones that make you withdraw from everybody.When feeling low, look to the songs that spur you to actions like prayer, not the ones that make you withdraw from everybody. Click To Tweet
And this leads to the second point.
2. It is not the Time to Shut Your Friends Out
Hard times are the times you need your friends the most, trust me, I know this too well, but most of the times, we separate ourselves from our friends the most.Hard times are the times you need your friends the most. Click To Tweet
We do this for different reasons, we are angry with them for not discerning and sensing that we are not well or we just don’t want to bother them and disturb their perfect life with our mess, but in essence this actually the time we should bother them, so you know why? That’s what friends are for.
Please, the friend we can only reach out to when things are fine and would see us as a burden when we need help, is that one a friend?
I don’t doubt that you have bad friends (who are not friends at all), who make you result to withdrawal in times of need and pain, but if you have people who love and care about you, this is the time to reach out to them, they might not even be friends, they might be your family, church members, colleagues at work.
I am not saying that they will know what exactly to say and how exactly to help you, sometimes, most of the times, they might not even know what to say to you, but it’s easier to get through difficult times with the people who love and care for you than alone.It’s easier to get through difficult times with the people who love and care for you than alone. Click To Tweet
People who end up committing suicide are people who have no one around them, or who have refused to open up to those around them.
And to be clear, come out straight to these people, tell them plainly and clearly what you are going through and what help you need, don’t send signals and act in a way to make them get the message, not everyone can read signs, but everyone can understand a literal “I need help”.
I must also add that sometimes, the people we want to open up to or reach out to for help might be going through their fair share of life’s blow, that shouldn’t stop you from reaching out. I have found out that we (good people) don’t mind offering help even when they are in need of one themselves, it might even give them the opportunity to heal themselves.
3. It is not the Time to be Silent
I know I have addressed this in the previous point, but I’ll just leave it here again in this form. When you are feeling low or going through a difficult time, it’s not the time to be silent. It’s not the time to withdraw, it’s not the time to keep to yourself.
Shout! Ask for help. speak up.When you are feeling low or going through a difficult time, it’s not the time to be silent. It's time to speak up. Click To Tweet
Which leads to my next point.
4. It is not the time for Self-pity
Self-pity is a common trait that accompanies a hard time. It is that time you see everything you are not, everything you don’t have, your limitations, weaknesses, bad habits are amplified.
You see yourself unworthy and undeserving of love, or anybody’s attention for that matter, which is exactly what prevents you from reaching out to people who can help.
A man told you that you are a terrible girlfriend, maybe the worst he has ever had, and so what? That you were bad for him doesn’t mean you are bad for the rest of the whole world, and let’s assume that is true, you should be grateful that you know what exactly to work on and make yourself the most sort after trophy girlfriend the world has ever had. Not make you break all your mirrors angry to look at yourself.
Or you got fired from a job and your boss told you how much of a loser you are and how you are the worst person to pass through that company, that is not the time for self-pity, it is the time to wake up and work.
Replace self-pity for self-improvement. Don’t go about pitying yourself, go on a mission to strengthen that weakness instead.
5. It’s not the Time to be Self-absorbed.
Take the microscope off yourself for once, think about others, think about people who are in a worst state than you are.When feeling low, take the microscope off yourself for once, think about others, think about people who are in a worst state than you are. Click To Tweet
When you think you are at the button of the whole world, you need to think again, because I bet some people are desperately seeking what you have.
When you are too self-absorbed, you won’t even see this, you won’t see reasons to be grateful, you won’t see all the many reasons you are to be joyful.
No matter how low you are or feel, there is always something to be grateful for, there is someone in a far worse situation than you are.No matter how low you are or feel, there is always something to be grateful for. Click To Tweet
And I’m not saying this so you see yourself better than others, but so that you can take the focus off your needs for once and help someone else fulfil theirs.
Do you know you always have something that someone else needs even in your biggest time of need? Seek after that person you can help, and you might find joy for yourself.
6. It’s Not The Time to Keep God Out
When you are feeling low, pray! Tell God about the situation.
We should never underestimate the power of prayer. And God is more than willing to help.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:6-7
I should also add that it is not the time to stay away from the church. This is a common response, you are angry with God, so you take it upon the church, or you are angry with the church and you take it against God.
See the people in the church as your brothers and sisters, because that is who they are, you were born into God’s family, and family always stand together.
There were no needy ones among them, because those who owned lands or houses would sell their property, bring the proceeds from the sales, 35and lay them at the apostles’ feet for distribution to anyone as he had need. – Act 4:34-35
Talk to your Pastor, talk to your unit leader, let them know what is happening, and be open to receive help and counsel from them.
There are so many ways we deal with our down times, but whichever one you go for, make sure it’s one that takes out your out of that pit, not deeper inside.
Grace and peace.