At Loveology Summit, which was organized by Ifeoma Nkem-Gbemudu, author of the critically acclaimed book – “Can I Be Married Already?” The convener of the Summit Ifeoma asked a few married Christian millennial to share about their experiences in marriage and their advice to courting couples.
This is the answer to one of the questions asked.
Question: What 5 areas do you believe that two people courting need to be in agreement for them to enjoy their marriage?
Do you have the same doctrinal beliefs?
You probably already know the importance of marrying someone of the same faith and has the mutual goal of growing his/her relationship with God with this established what about doctrinal and theological beliefs?
Just as important as it is for you and your significant order to be of the same faith similarity in your basic doctrines should align as well. This is important because there are one thousand and one issues doctrines can cause in a marriage.
You necessarily not attend the same church but you should make sure you both hold a fundamental commitment to the Scriptures as the final authority on doctrines and the Christian theology.You should make sure you both hold a fundamental commitment to the Scriptures as the final authority on doctrines and the Christian theology. Click To Tweet
It’s no news that finance is one of the top reasons marriages go south. Everyone has a preconception about how and what money should be used for.
At the loveology summit, the couples advised ladies to be financially responsible and be sure to marry someone with whom you have the same thoughts/beliefs about money.
Who is responsible for the family’s expenses. How will you prepare for emergencies? What class or lifestyle are you going to live by? What percentage of your income goes to the savings, to the family and to giving? These and many more need to be asked and agreed upon.
When dating or courting, you need to be sure that both of you have the same values. If the other party does not share the same values with you, it might be a red flag because it is those values that will dictate how things play out in your home when you’re married. So if your values are not aligned, then you’ll be signing up for a lot of disagreements and strife in marriage.If your partner does not share the same values with you, it might be a red flag because you’ll be signing up for a lot of disagreements and strife in marriage. Click To Tweet
4. Handling Dispute
Intending couples need to be sure they’re in agreement with regards to how they will handle disputes in marriage. Offences will arise, you would get pissed when you get married so now is a good time to understand and agree on how issues would be resolved.
Who brings up offences and when? How and when will you involve third parties?Intending couples need to be sure they’re in agreement with regards to how they will handle disputes in marriage. Who brings up offences and when? How and when will you involve third parties? Click To Tweet
5. Spiritual Authority
It’s important for both parties to be in agreement with regards to their understanding of the place spiritual authority (your pastors) in your home. Including the place of worship when you get married, note that this is not an argument about who should start attending whose church but a decision you both have to make concerning what fellowship of believers you would both be committed to.
P.S. The above is my paraphrased summary of some of the answers the panellists gave to some of the questions asked. You can, however, click HERE to watch the entire event on YouTube. That way you’ll know who said what and more.
We think you will also like to read Things We Wish We Knew Before We Got Married – Loveology
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