30 Nov 2012 --- Portrait of loving couple outdoors in winter --- Image by © Hero Images/Corbis
I’m sure you also stumbled on that romantic love story of Funto nee Oni and Gaise Baba. Though the post was mostly focused on the fact that they both stayed as virgins till their wedding night, something else struck me. As related by Gaise in the story, Funto “was in a relationship not very long before when he first met her” and he himself was fresh out of one. Actually, he had fallen in and out of love quite a few times, and he was tired. But it was both known to them that they liked each other. And guess what, actually there is no need to guess, they are both happily married today.  He, of course, took out time to be absolutely sure.
What am I trying to drive at? Back then, when I was reading the post, I was in a relationship and I just thought about the possibility that my girlfriend might be someone else’s wife.
Lool…I’m sure some people are going… No!! No!!! But it’s the truth. Yes, I agree; you want to marry that babe or that guy. I wanted to also, but what if he/she isn’t your wife or husband?
First, let me clarify somethings. A relationship for Christians isn’t supposed to be a trial and error thing. Christians should learn to build a purposeful relationship. One with a goal to jointly live to glorify their maker with their everyday life as they journey towards the altar, as well as looking forward to a life together, otherwise, you have no business honouring each other with the word “boyfriend and girlfriend”. All the same, it is very important to note that you are not married until after you both say I Do at the altar.
Though I strongly believe that a relationship/courtship is a dress-rehearsal for a marriage (except the having sex part, because sex is to consummate a marriage, not a relationship), by dress rehearsal, I mean, if a marriage won’t work, you should know from the relationship. As much as you can’t totally eliminate uncertainties that might lie wait in the future between you both, you must answer the questions and doubts available to you now.
One of the greatest lessons I learnt from Joshua Harris book “BOY MEET GIRL” is the purpose of a relationship. Which is to inform you both if you are supposed to get married and if you are suitable partners for each other. Therefore, a break-up isn’t always a terrible thing.
“A house is built through wisdom” is what the proverbs said. You have been dating for two years and you desire two separate lives. Or you’ve never agreed on a single thing. Won’t it be foolish to proceed with such a wedding?
Too often, we have managed to stick to a destructive relationship for the sake of the stigma or shame that comes with a break-up. If a break up is what it takes to meet your rightful partner, won’t that be the best thing that ever happened to you?
Anyway, back to Gaise and Funto’s story.
God is still the best match-maker, He created you, so He definitely knows what’s best for you. How come Gaise and Funto were both freshly out of a relationship when they met each other? What could have happened if one of them was still hooked up with his/her now ex? I don’t know if you are able to see any reason to believe that God’s purpose will always come to pass and that gives me peace, I mean PEACE, a peace that I won’t marry the wrong person.
If you haven’t read the post I titled “HOW I GAVE IT UP” you won’t understand the magnitude of fear I used to have regarding marrying the wrong person.
But now, I have peace in God’s wisdom and plan as the Master Match-maker. (Read more on this here; MAKING a PERFECT CHOICE)
The Bible text that says that “Everything works together for the good of those who love him” includes marriage as well.
Am I saying that everybody automatically marries their own partner no matter what? Of course not, some people clearly disobey God’s instruction and let their personal interest take the best of them. But as many that love the will of God, as many that desire His will, will be led in His sovereignty?
He promised to lead us in the way that we should go. He also asked us to be transformed by the renewing of our mind so that we can discern what His good, acceptable and perfect will is.
This post is for people like a friend I had a chat with yesterday night, who was afraid she might never fall in love anymore. She wished she should have just stuck in a relationship that she wasn’t happy and finding fulfilment in; seeking for selfish and self-gratifying fulfilment is a different thing. But we can find peace in God’s love and care for us, if He owns our life, and maps our steps, He’ll lead us to the right partners, even if we make mistakes. He is also loving enough to help retrace our steps. He is that loving.
So are you single and wondering when your missing rib will come? Are you in a relationship and wondering if this is it? Cheer up, sit back and relax, YOU’LL MARRY YOUR OWN BAE, your heavenly father’s got this. If He is not your heavenly father, ah! Don’t relax oh. Lol.

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Thank you for reading:), looking forward to reading your comment?

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To read Gaise and Funto’s story; CLICK HERE

It is true that the church shy away from talking about sex, read amazing and down to earth articles on the blog about S E X
Are you in a long distance relationship or might be in one? You’ll love to read this BLUNT conversation ABOUT LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP
Who are you meant to date? THE PERSON YOU LOVE OR THE ONE WHO LOVES YOU?
She took an oath of Celibacy, a very interesting read MEMOIRS OF UNSETTLED ADNAN: OATH OF CELIBACY

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Is there a question you will like to ask about the married life, especially from a newlywed? Send it to mail@lifegiva.com and the answer will be published in a future post.

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