LOVE

Calm Down! You’ll Marry Your Own Bae

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I’m sure you also stumbled on that romantic love story of Funto nee Oni and Gaise Baba. Though the post was mostly focused on the fact that they both stayed as virgins till their wedding night, something else struck me. As related by Gaise in the story, Funto “was in a relationship not very long before when he first met her” and he himself was fresh out of one. Actually, he had fallen in and out of love quite a few times, and he was tired. But it was both known to them that they liked each other. And guess what, actually there is no need to guess, they are both happily married today.  He, of course, took out time to be absolutely sure.

What am I trying to drive at? Back then, when I was reading the post, I was in a relationship and I just thought about the possibility that my girlfriend might be someone else’s wife.

Lool…I’m sure some people are going… No!! No!!! But it’s the truth. Yes, I agree; you want to marry that babe or that guy. I wanted to also, but what if he/she isn’t your wife or husband?

First, let me clarify somethings. A relationship for Christians isn’t supposed to be a trial and error thing. Christians should learn to build a purposeful relationship. One with a goal to jointly live to glorify their maker with their everyday life as they journey towards the altar, as well as looking forward to a life together, otherwise, you have no business honouring each other with the word “boyfriend and girlfriend”. All the same, it is very important to note that you are not married until after you both say I Do at the altar.

A relationship for Christians isn't supposed to be a trial and error thing. It should be purposeful. One with a goal to jointly live to glorify God with their everyday life as they journey towards the altar, as well as looking… Click To Tweet It is very important to note that you are not married until after you both say 'I Do' at the altar. Click To Tweet

Though I strongly believe that a relationship/courtship is a dress-rehearsal for a marriage (except the having sex part, because sex is to consummate a marriage, not a relationship), by dress rehearsal, I mean, if a marriage won’t work, you should know from the relationship. As much as you can’t totally eliminate uncertainties that might lie wait in the future between you both, you must answer the questions and doubts available to you now.

One of the greatest lessons I learnt from Joshua Harris book “BOY MEET GIRL” is the purpose of a relationship. Which is to inform you both if you are supposed to get married and if you are suitable partners for each other. Therefore, a break-up isn’t always a terrible thing.

“A house is built through wisdom” is what the proverbs said. You have been dating for two years and you desire two separate lives. Or you’ve never agreed on a single thing. Won’t it be foolish to proceed with such a wedding?

Too often, we have managed to stick to a destructive relationship for the sake of the stigma or shame that comes with a break-up. If a break up is what it takes to meet your rightful partner, won’t that be the best thing that ever happened to you?

Anyway, back to Gaise and Funto’s story.

God is still the best match-maker, He created you, so He definitely knows what’s best for you. How come Gaise and Funto were both freshly out of a relationship when they met each other? What could have happened if one of them was still hooked up with his/her now ex? I don’t know if you are able to see any reason to believe that God’s purpose will always come to pass and that gives me peace, I mean PEACE, a peace that I won’t marry the wrong person.

If you haven’t read the post I titled “HOW I GAVE IT UP” you won’t understand the magnitude of fear I used to have regarding marrying the wrong person.

But now, I have peace in God’s wisdom and plan as the Master Match-maker. (Read more on this here; MAKING a PERFECT CHOICE)

The Bible text that says that “Everything works together for the good of those who love him” includes marriage as well.

Am I saying that everybody automatically marries their own partner no matter what? Of course not, some people clearly disobey God’s instruction and let their personal interest take the best of them. But as many that love the will of God, as many that desire His will, will be led in His sovereignty?

Am I saying that everybody automatically marries their own partner no matter what? Of course not, some people let their personal interest take the best of them. But as many that love the will of God will be led by him Click To Tweet

He promised to lead us in the way that we should go. He also asked us to be transformed by the renewing of our mind so that we can discern what His good, acceptable and perfect will is.

This post is for people like a friend I had a chat with yesterday night, who was afraid she might never fall in love anymore. She wished she should have just stuck in a relationship that she wasn’t happy and finding fulfillment in; seeking for selfish and self-gratifying fulfillment is a different thing. But we can find peace in God’s love and care for us, if He owns our life, and maps our steps, He’ll lead us to the right partners, even if we make mistakes. He is also loving enough to help retrace our steps. He is that loving.

So are you single and wondering when your missing rib will come? Are you in a relationship and wondering if this is it? Cheer up, sit back and relax, YOU’LL MARRY YOUR OWN BAE, your heavenly father’s got this. If He is not your heavenly father, ah! Don’t relax oh. Lol.

So are you single and wondering when your missing rib will come? Are you in a relationship and wondering if this is it? Cheer up, sit back and relax, YOU'LL MARRY YOUR OWN BAE, your heavenly father's got this. Click To Tweet

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Thank you for reading:), looking forward to reading your comment?

It is true that the church shy away from talking about sex, read amazing and down to earth articles on the blog about S E X

Who are you meant to date? THE PERSON YOU LOVE OR THE ONE WHO LOVES YOU?

She took an oath of Celibacy, a very interesting read MEMOIRS OF UNSETTLED ADNAN: OATH OF CELIBACY

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Is there a question you will like to ask about the married life, especially from a newlywed? Send it to hello@lifegiva.com and the answer will be published in a future post.

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1 Comment

  1. don’t always have time to make a comment on ur blog but ds was really good.haven’t been in any relationship but i av been privileged 2 deal with many youths in one,all in all, a relationship isn’t definite. nobody enjoys break-ups but for us xtians if its for the right reasons, God will always “make it up” to us. Nice piece bro. Blessing.

    1. Very very true…what you contributed are right words. Thank you very much for leaving a comment, God bless you.

  2. Hmmm…. nice write up. As christains we shd nt forget d fact dat if God can guide u to d ryt career He will sure guide u in ur marriage decision. Courtship is not marriage. My mum wld always say..’better to have a broken courtship than a broken home’ . Jst wait d ryt one will come. Thanks Tolu for dis word of encouragement.

    1. God does not just care about some aspects of our life, He cares about every aspect of our lives that He numbers the hair on our heads, how much more who we enter a marriage vow with, a vow He ordained.
      Patience is very important.
      You are welcome Tito 🙂

  3. Thank you sir for this piece. I have never been in a relationship due to the fear of getting involved with the wrong person. But now, NY mind is calm.
    Gracias Senor

    1. Awesome, glory to God. You’re welcome 🙂

  4. Yaay! Was actually thinking about it yesterday. That it’s not too early to start praying about it. Bless you bro

    1. No! It’s never too early. Amen

  5. Nice one Tolu, I learnt alot…” but as many that love the will of God, as many that desire His will, will be led in His sovereignty.”…such a profoundly True statement… I do hope this bae is the final bae…

    1. Very true statement brother, one that should give us rest. Lool…I feel you bro 😉 Thanks for leaving a comment Eti.

  6. This is a master piece Tolu. You’ve so much expounded so much on this subject matter and I cannot but say weldone. It is important for us to know that God is interested in everything about us including who we get married to. I often say to people that until you/he put(s) a ring on Her(your) finger in the presence of others in holy solemenization, you never marry.
    I await my bae seriously.
    Cheers

    1. Thank you so much Tolu Francis…true, very true. 🙂 😀

  7. OMG!!! Woow!! This is so good.good job tolu. Its funny how wen u re in a relationship with someone(even if its the wrong person), u feel like its d best dat has Eva happened to you and then when u eventually find bae?,you start to thank God for those broken roads that led u to BAE???

    1. You’ve totally said it all…I can totally relate to it. Thanks 😀

  8. Yay!! My Heavenly Father has got me covered.I lay all my fears and worry at His feet cos He cares.Finding Christian blogs has been one of the major blessings of the year for me.keep up good work, i know you might have heard that a lot of times,but seriously, keep it up.

    1. Yes!!! He’s got you covered. Thank you sooooo much, it means a lot Teal

  9. Oh my daze!!!!!!!!! Yes…yes! Thank you Toolzz…

  10. Wow! This is really beautiful! God bless you for blessing our hearts. Great job!

  11. Lovely. An excellent read, as always. May God continually bless you, Tolu.

  12. Luvly one sir

    1. Thanks 🙂

  13. So many comments, uncle Tolu u touched d heart of d matter… The part I love most is d last part: if He is not ur heavenly Father, don’t relax. 🙂 A deeper relationship beckons, a longer lasting marriage calls. Forever is longer than till death…. How much are we preparing for forever

  14. Nice article Tolu. I can relate with being in a relationship and it breaking up and I definitely can relate with ‘waiting for the right bae’. But yes!! GOD’s got this!
    Thank you for the encouragement.

  15. […] CALM DOWN! YOU’LL MARRY YOUR OWN BAE […]

  16. If there is one thing I do constantly is to remind myself never to settle for less, which is very important cos waiting for Him to show up can bring different things to mind.
    But Yes! God has it covered.
    Thanks for this..

  17. […] Related article: CALM DOWN! YOU’LL MARRY YOUR OWN BAE […]

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