Choosing a Life Partner: Dealing with Lofty Expectations and Factual Differences


Serious Conversation“I don’t like his physique because he is too slim and does not have broad shoulders. I want a guy that is tall, dark and handsome with six-packs. Well, for me I want a man that is fair, tall and slim. Oh! That is for you ooo. I just need a good man that can take care of me. Hah! I don’t think I give a damn about physique or his money, all I want is a man that will love me for who l am. I mean a man that can shower me with affection and care”, some ladies would say.
I think a dark, pretty and busty lady is okay for me. For me to like her, she has to be fair with moderate height and must be my tribe. Hmm! I just like busty ladies with massive behind, not too slim and must be pretty. I just need a good girl because appearance and complexion do not matter much to me, some guys would also say.
Everybody has his or her own choice and one must come to terms with the fact that not everybody will like you for who you are and there is nothing you can do about it except to totally accept who you are. This is because as the household dictum goes, “one man’s food is another man’s poison”.
When I was an undergraduate, I used to have a pretty friend, Ene. We were just good friends but after a while I started having a crush on her and before she could say jack, I asked her out. She told me that she just wanted us to continue to be good friends. To be candid, she was a girl I could build the future with as I was just serious about it since she was my type- pretty, a bit fat and fair in complexion. After much pressure, she unveiled her thought- that she could not go out with me because I was skinny. According to her, she wanted somebody that was huge and tall. Does that mean I should go and hug a transformer since I was created like that?
I was chatting with a friend of mine few weeks ago and I asked him about the girl he wanted to marry. He told me his father-in-law to be was dragging his feet because he (my friend) is not from the same place of origin with the girl. According to him, he has tried his possible best but the girl’s dad did not seem ready to shift ground. My question is- should he start blaming his creator for not making him somebody from his fiancée’s place? I wonder.
A week ago I went to see an old friend of mine. I met her drinking ordinary tea- just Lipton without sugar around 8pm. She offered me Eva wine and I was happy to do justice to it. When I asked her to join me, she said she was okay with what she was taking. When I inquired, she said she was watching her weight by starving herself simply because she desired to remain attractive to her boyfriend –who apparently had a dislike (romantically) for fat ladies. The question I asked her was If she broke up with him and fell in love with somebody who liked fat ladies, would the world end? (I asked her that question in my mind oh)
This is a serious issue we all face when it comes to choosing a life partner (whether we choose to deny it or not). Some of us take it so personal that at times, we indulge questioning our creator on why He created us in a particular way. Little wonder, we resort to all manner of ungodly acts especially the ladies such as indulging in all manner of enlargements and the likes- all in the name of being attractive by bowing to a false standard which will ruin our lives eventually (it’s only a matter of time). We tend to be caught up in the web of inferiority complex, forgetting that we are created in His image and likeness.
One of the things I have leant in my romantic journey is that no matter who you are, you will definitely find your “type” because there is definitely someone out there who will like you for who you are. Just be patient as in no distant time, you will locate that kind of person. That is the beauty of life.


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1 Comment

  1. Awww…firstly I love the aproach ..,secondly, twas interesting cos i actually giggled while reading probably because I was also told to get fat. But guess what, i looked at the mirror and saw God’s perfect creation….created on a beautiful Sunday morning….hahaha..and then told him to go and pray again…maybe he got it all confused at the beginning….Why asked a slim lady out when you prefer fat ones? ….well sha o….My number one criteria is You must be born again…and pls be fine o..i love cute children..hahahaha…i just love this post…Thanks Onoja

  2. Love this write-up! Speaks a whole lot. Thank God for this article.

    1. Beautiful piece here. Was once threading this path of unrealistic expectations. Worst of all, I hated my stature and body figure. But now, I am confidently MsVick Smallie Chops. *Lol* Thanks Emmanuel Onoja for sharing with us.

  3. Wowww! Really blessed. God bless!! This blogger

  4. […] Choosing a Life Partner: Dealing with Lofty Expectations and Factual Differences […]

  5. Great work Onoja

    1. Thank you 🙂

  6. […] Choosing a Life Partner: Dealing with Lofty Expectations and Factual Differences […]

  7. […] Choosing a Life Partner: Dealing with Lofty Expectations and Factual Differences […]

  8. […] Choosing a Life Partner: Dealing with Lofty Expectations and Factual Differences […]

  9. […] Choosing a Life Partner: Dealing with Lofty Expectations and Factual Differences […]

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