She had discouragement written all over her. Speaking in hushed tones like one sharing a long-hidden secret, she poured out her heart to me.
“Ify, I’ll be 30 years old in a few months and I’m still single. I’m worried and my family isn’t helping matters. There’s this guy though, that keeps coming around. My entire family knows him and thinks I should give him a chance. But I don’t know. He’s quite nice but doesn’t care much about God or church. My sisters say I’m being too picky about refusing to date him. What would you advise I do Ify? I’m really tired of being single and age isn’t on my side any longer.”
Honestly, I can’t remember her exact words. However, I remember the details of what she said because her confession was the first time anyone would share with me their inner struggles with being eager to get married.
But she wasn’t just eager; she was very eager- eager to the point of being anxious.
There are many reasons why single adults who are single for longer than they hoped, prayed or dreamed become anxious about when it is they’d finally get married. For the ladies, it could be the fear that as an older lady you’d be less desirable to eligible bachelors, as guys (in your observation) are fond of going after younger ladies, or the fear that comes from hearing your mum and aunties talk about how your biological clock is ticking and you’re better off having babies before you turn 35.
For the men, it could be the fear that time isn’t on your side anymore and if you don’t start a family soon enough, you just might be training your children in secondary school way into your retirement.
But fear and anxiety never helped anyone, especially not the child of God. Regardless of our station in life, we all will face circumstances where we would be tempted to be afraid or anxious, but God’s word is clear on the subject;Fear and anxiety never helped anyone, especially not the child of God. Click To Tweet
“Be anxious for nothing but in everything through prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, make your requests known unto God and the peace of God which passeth all human understanding shall guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus” – Philippians 4:6(NKJV)
God’s word instructs us not to worry about anything. This instruction, in particular, reminds me that we all have a choice not to worry. The belief that you can’t help but worry about a situation or person if you really care, and especially if you are a woman, is a lie. Worry is a negative, unproductive habit and we all, including women, have God’s instructions to resist the temptation to worry.Worry is a negative, unproductive habit. Click To Tweet
One major reason to resist the temptation to be anxious is the fact that anxiety eventually gives way to desperation and desperate people are more likely to make unwise decisions. How many married people rushed into marriage with people they knew were no good for them only because they were desperate to get married at a certain age.
So dear single Christian, don’t be anxious about your inability to find or be found by a suitable mate. Refuse to dwell on the incessant comments of your family members or friends over how old you are and how much better it would be for you to be married sooner than later. Their comments may be borne out of genuine concern but ultimately; you should not rush into marriage. Whatever fears you may have about being married later in your life than you hoped, have no foundation in scripture. Heed God’s instruction in Philippians 4:8-9 instead:
“Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. 9 The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.”One major reason to resist the temptation to be anxious is the fact that anxiety eventually gives way to desperation and desperate people are more likely to make unwise decisions. Click To Tweet
This post was taken out of Ifeoma Nkem-Gbemudu’s new book titled: CAN I BE MARRIED ALREADY?! – Biblical Answers to The Questions That Plague Your Heart Because You’re Still Single.
DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE CHAPTER OF MY BOOK – https://bit.ly/2CYO5OU
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Ifeoma is a Christian, HR Professional, Author and Personal development buff dedicated to helping you make the most of where you are on the way to where you’re going.