In this article, I will be debunking popular sex myths especially the ones you heard in the church. For instance; I once heard a story of a lady who had some challenges on her wedding night. When it was time to have sex her body built up defences.
Hence, penetration was incredibly painful so they had to stop. There may be several factors responsible for this, even biological. But in her case, she had imbibed so many ideas from the church that painted a funny view about sex. Such that even though she was married, it took a while for her mind and body to understand that sex in marriage isn’t dirty or sinful.
How often do you hear a sermon about sex being God’s idea? But you would find a truckload of messages on sex before marriage being displeasing to God – and this is absolutely true.
However, many times these talks are not balanced. People ought to know that that isn’t all there is to sex.
Debunking Popular Sex Myths You Heard In Church
1. Sex is dirty.
Like I already said, there is nothing dirty about sex as a concept. Sex is a design of God and like everything else God created, it is good and perfect – when it is done God’s way. Outside of marriage, sex is plainly forbidden and displeasing to God.
However, in marriage, it is perfect and pleasing to God. The Holy Spirit doesn’t leave you when you’re having sex with your spouse so feel free to enjoy sex in marriage without any feeling of guilt or unworthiness. Sex in marriage is God’s design.Sex in marriage is God’s design. Click To Tweet
2. Sex is only for baby-making because God said, “Be fruitful and multiply…”
This is another major sex myth. Brothers and sisters, yes God wants us to bear children and be fruitful but that’s not all. God also created sex to bring pleasure to the participants (Again, in marriage only please).
This is why during sex all these pleasure-bringing hormones are active and working. This isn’t a mistake but was done intentionally by God when He was designing us.God created sex not just for procreation but to bring pleasure to a husband and his wife Click To Tweet
3. Sex is for the man alone to enjoy.
There is the popular sex myth, an unspoken rule of sex being for the husband’s pleasure alone. So, the wife dares not seek her own pleasure. Some would even say because the man is the head, he ought to lead even in sexual activities, so the woman shouldn’t initiate sex.
Brethren, this is far from the truth. God designed sex to be pleasurable for the husband and the wife alike. There’s absolutely nothing wrong or unscriptural about a wife initiating sex or seeking pleasure out of it.
1 Corinthians 7:3 says it beautifully: “The husband should fulfil his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfil her husband’s needs. 4 The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife”There’s absolutely nothing wrong or unscriptural about a wife initiating sex or seeking pleasure out of it. Click To Tweet
4. Don’t bother with counselling, sex comes as naturally as speaking in tongues.
Believer or not, counselling especially about sex and in marriage is very important. There is no need to struggle in silence. A lot of church folks don’t like to talk about sex but even in the bible, it’s all over, of course, not in explicit terms but it is a part of human existence and it is spoken about.
So you see, no rule against talking about sex especially to clearly depict God’s design and plan for it and help struggling couples. There is safety in the multitude of counsel. We also don’t have to be vague when talking about sex, we can be real and still pass across God’s intentions for sex.Don’t bother with counselling, sex comes as naturally as speaking in tongues - Common Sex Myth in the church Click To Tweet
5. Anything asides missionary style is a sin.
People of God, this is untrue. So long as it’s not threatening to your health (because even during sex, your body is the temple of God) and your spouse is fine with it (because we’re called to love), God gives the freedom for you to explore sex (styles and positions) with each other.God has given the freedom for you to explore sex (styles and positions) with your spouse. Click To Tweet
In conclusion, I’d say stick with the Word of God. Do not form a doctrine of something that cannot be established with scripture. Remember, in the mouth of two or three witnesses, the truth is established. So you ought not to pick a scripture and run with it.
Understanding context and confirmation by one or more other scriptures is important. Also, we ought not to make societal standards our standard as believers. The Word of God should be enough for you as a believer so we ought to stick with it whether in the doctrine of prayer or in the matter of sex.Even in matters concerning sex, the word of God should be enough for you as a believer Click To Tweet
I hope this invalidates the popular sex myths you Heard in Church.
Please let us know your thoughts on this – more myths or your take on these using the bible of course as your basis 😊
Check out What Exactly Is The Big Deal About Pre-Marital Sex?