Rejection is not a pleasant feeling. Nobody likes to be told ‘no’. For Christians actively searching for a life partner, rejection comes often – in different shapes, forms and sizes. Whether you get a no from explicitly asking or it’s all in your mind and you’re wondering why all the ‘potential’ partners are not looking your way, rejections suck. Rejecting someone or being rejected, is usually not a pleasant situation. Whatever the case may be, it is not so much about the rejection (which most times is out of your control) as it is about how you handle it.
– First and foremost, it is important that as a believer, you are rooted and grounded in God’s love.
This means that you must anchor your identity in God and not in external factors. This said, when you experience a form of rejection, you need to know that it doesn’t define you. So the prettiest girl in choir said no to your proposal even when you’re the choirmaster and you seemed to be led- her rejection of you doesn’t invalidate who you are in Christ.
A common mistake people make after facing rejection is to begin to see themselves in that light. No, don’t do that, please. When you experience a form of rejection, you need to know that it doesn’t define you. People’s approval or disapproval of you doesn’t change your identity. You are not your experiences or what people say or do to you. People’s approval or disapproval of you isn’t who you are. You are a child of God
When you experience a form of rejection, you need to know that it doesn't define you. People's approval or disapproval of you doesn't change your identity. You are not your experiences or what people say or do to you. Click To Tweet
– Manage your expectations
This is very important. Rejection comes as a shock to many people and that is the beginning of many other problems for them. See, even if you have heard from God, you need to come to terms with the fact that God wouldn’t force His will or plan on people; this means the other person has a choice and that choice can very well be a ‘no’. There are many reasons rejections may happen even when you’re convinced it was the right move. A common reason could stem from how they don’t see what you see or that they have their eyes on someone else. You need to have this at the back of your mind even before the rejection happens and be prepared.See, even if you have heard from God, you need to come to terms with the fact that God wouldn't force His will or plan on people; this means the other person has a choice and that choice can very well be a 'no'. Click To Tweet
– Be true to yourself and God
I know this may sound funny, but when you face rejection, please go back to God. Go back to the drawing board and align yourself with what God would have you do at that point in time. After all, He is our father who is concerned about every detail of our lives. Is there a lesson to be learnt? Did you run ahead of yourself? Or maybe God would just have you take a break for some time and focus of Him?
– Avoid the temptation to prove a point
A lot of times, after people face rejection, there is this constant desire to ‘show’ and so you want to be the next person whose wedding invitation would be announced in church. Don’t do that, please. Give yourself time to heal. It’s okay to be single again for a while. Many times after facing rejection, in a bid to prove yourself, you end up making even worse decisions. So yes please, consider taking some time off to breathe.
However spiritual you may be, sometimes it is very important that you take a break from the entire race and just breathe and re-evaluate how God would have you proceed.
– Be truthful to yourself and avoid lies at all costs
Lies like “It’s his loss…” Well, sis, it may not always be his loss. Just maybe you aren’t the best for him just as he likely wasn’t the best for you. This may be hard but you need to deal with this event with grace. If you were wronged in the process, you have got to cry to God and ask Him for grace to forgive and let go. Forgiveness and peace-making are so important to God that in the bible, God says if you’re taking a gift to the altar and you realize you need to make peace with someone, leave the gift at the altar and go make peace. While you may not be able to maintain the same quality of relationship you had with the person, do not hold them to ransom in your heart.
I should also say at this point that if you must reject someone, please be kind. While you may have really valid and genuine reasons for rejecting the fellow, you should not be the reason a son/daughter of God loses their self-esteem. Let your words be seasoned with grace and be wise. You don’t have to reject him in front of everyone during choir rehearsals or something like that. Be discerning.
Lies like 'It's his loss...' Well, sis, it may not always be his loss. Just maybe you aren't the best for him just as he likely wasn't the best for you. This may be hard but you need to deal with this event with grace. Click To Tweet
– Finally, don’t close the door on love because of a breakup
Sometimes when we make a mistake or something goes wrong, there is the tendency for us to say ‘never again’. God is a God of second chances… and thirds and fourths. Don’t say to yourself, “Oh sister Grace broke my heart, women are what??? In fact, I’m done with humans…” And then you start talking about the gift of eunuchs resting upon you and all that. I’m pretty sure if you had such a gift, it wouldn’t be revealed to you by a rejection.
What I am trying to say in essence is don’t give up on love, God’s beautiful plan of marriage and a good home because of your experience. Trust God with your heart and be patient.
In conclusion, I have to say again that rejection isn’t easy so please be gentle with yourself. Lean on God at this difficult time and entrust your heart and life with Him. In God’s time and His way, you will find love again… and this time, it will be for good. Stay encouraged!
God Helps With Break-ups and Heartbreaks will also bless your heart. Please check it out.