I just started a relationship with a guy this January, he’s a Christian and accepts my stand for sexual purity, but he says he would want physical touch like kissing and hugging… Is that right?


The world has a way of blurring the line of sexual purity. They say as long as you aren’t having sex, then you are fine, but think about this, Jesus said if you lust after someone, you have committed adultery with her. This means Jesus’ standard is higher than the world’s standard.

But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. – Matt 5:28

Kissing and some kind of intimate hugging give a level of sexual pleasure which if our goal is to stay sexually pure, we should avoid.

Purity is beyond not having sex, but pleasing God in our action and our thoughts. Most people can’t kiss in the public or on the presence of their parents or pastors, that already shows that there is an element of unrighteousness in it.

Purity is beyond not having sex, but pleasing God in our action and our thoughts. Click To Tweet

So, I will like to advise, don’t drop the standard. And often times, it’s hard to stop at one, once you give in into a little sexual pleasure (like in kissing) you just want more and the flesh can be really powerful.

Often times, it's hard to stop at one. Once you give in into a little sexual pleasure (like kissing) you just want more and the flesh can be really powerful. Click To Tweet

The goal shouldn’t be dropping standards but upholding it. Do as little as humanly possible. If he doesn’t hold the same standard of purity, yes, you should end the relationship. Two cannot work together except they agree.

The goal shouldn't be dropping standards but upholding it. Do as little as humanly possible. Click To Tweet

We held a discussion on this topic sometime back, read it here – Discussion: How Physically Involved Should Dating Partners Be?

Read also; Sex and The Single Person

Staying Pure In A Hyper-Sexualized World

Managing My Sexuality As An Unmarried Christian

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