I remember the last time I had to deal with something like a Breakup, it wasn’t an actual breakup- You know when you experience a breakup even though you weren’t officially dating? Yup! That’s what it was). It was a beautiful Saturday night. First, I acted like nothing could hit a child of God like me. However, during worship the following morning, as the worship leader led ‘Reckless love’, I could no longer hold back, I
cried wept like a baby! Those around me would have thought, “Awww, how she loves the Lord!” Oh well, only me and Jesus… and now you know the full story. Dealing with a breakup, full-blown or self-induced like mine is hard. Christians are not exempted.
Breakups happen for so many reasons. You know, it’s really not you, it’s them. Other times, it’s really you. The reasons vary from you not heeding warning signs to you actually doing everything right and yet, it just falls apart.
When this happens, what do you do?
1. First, go to God.
I know, I know… this sounds so cliche. But you see, as I
worshipped cried before God that Sunday morning, it truly was the start of healing for me. No one, absolutely no one can comfort you like God will. The bible says, God is close to the broken-hearted and it is true! No one, absolutely no one can give you peace at such a turbulent time like God can. So turn to God; pain, confusion and all, turn to him with honesty and just receive the warmth and love of your Father, especially if like me at that time of my life, you didn’t heed the leading of your spirit.
2. Let go of the guilt.
Guilt is not of God and it can never be. Periodttt! Oftentimes, you might start blaming yourself for the breakup. “Oh, if I had listened to the Holy Spirit, I wouldn’t be here…” or “Oh, I should have left since I saw the first time” Regardless of how true these are, guilt and guilt-tripping are not of God. Once you have confessed and handed the matter over to God, please receive the love and forgiveness of the Father and stop giving guilt a room in your heart. You should forgive yourself regardless of the mistakes you have made because God has forgiven you.Guilt is not of God and it can never be. Click To Tweet You should forgive yourself regardless of the mistakes you have made because God has forgiven you. Click To Tweet
3. Avoid the temptation to seek a rebound.
A lot of times, after a breakup, there is the constant desire to ‘show’ your ex and so you want to be the next person whose wedding invitation would be announced in church. Don’t do that, please. Give yourself time to heal. It’s okay to be single again for a while. However spiritual you may be, sometimes it is very critical that you take a break from the entire race and just breathe and reevaluate how God would have you proceed. Many times in a bit to prove whatever to your ex, you end up making even worse decisions. So yes please, take some time to breathe.Give yourself time to heal. It's okay to be single again for a while. Click To Tweet
4. Be truthful to yourself and avoid lies at all costs.
Lies like “It’s his loss…” Well, sis, it may not always be his loss. Maybe you just weren’t the best for him just as he likely wasn’t the best for you. This may be hard but you need to deal with this event with grace. If you were wronged, you have got to cry to God and ask Him for grace to forgive and let go. Forgiveness and peace-making are so important to God that in the bible, God says if you’re taking a gift to the altar and you realise you need to make peace with someone, leave the gift at the altar and go make peace. It is very very important to God. So while you may not be able to maintain the same quality of relationship you had with the person, do not hold them to ransom in your heart. Forgive and let go. It is hard but with God, it is possible.While you may not be able to maintain the same quality of relationship you had with the person, do not hold them to ransom in your heart. Click To Tweet
5. Finally, don’t close the door on love because of a breakup.
I know, I know… I promise I’m going somewhere. Sometimes when we make a mistake or something goes wrong, there is the tendency for us to say ‘never again’. But God is a God of second chances… and thirds and fourths. Don’t be like, “Oh, sister Grace broke my heart, women are what??? In fact, I’m done with humans…” And then you start talking about the gift of eunuchs resting upon you and all that. I’m pretty sure if you had such gift, it wouldn’t be revealed to you by a breakup 🙂
What I am trying to say in essence is, don’t give up on love, God’s beautiful plan of marriage and a good home because of your experience. Trust God with your heart and be patient. In conclusion, I have to say again that a breakup isn’t easy so please be gentle with yourself. Lean on God at this difficult time and entrust your heart and life with Him. In God’s time and His way, you would find love again… and this time, it will be for good. Stay encouraged! 🙂Don't give up on love, God's beautiful plan of marriage and a good home because of your experience. Click To Tweet
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