I was recently at a place where a friend asked two of our other married friends How Financially Stable Should A Man Be Before Marriage? Before thinking of taking anyone to the altar?
This conversation reminded me of this same question that was asked at a Singles Meeting. A meeting I was dragged to sometimes back at HillCity Church. The answer the pastor gave to the question was totally my thought as well, I couldn’t agree any less.
Before I jump into giving that answer, Let me state the various school of thoughts on this issues.
1. The At-least Have 10 million Naira Saved people
This school of thought believes it is important to have the future insured against any unforeseen events or expenses. Therefore, count the cost, and have whatever that estimation is saved before setting on the journey. And I just bet that this has a scriptural backing when Jesus gave a similar parable.
“Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you, saying, ‘This person began to build and wasn’t able to finish.’ – Luke 14:28 – 30.
So, this makes it pretty clear, don’t ignore the reality (cost in this case) of the journey you are about to embark on. Some people think it is not faith to face reality. Faith is not a substitute for natural processes. It will be complete folly to have a closed eye to where you are going.
But here is the balance;
Can we completely be prepared for the future? Could you ever save enough for the future? Can we totally envisage all the possible events of the future and be adequately prepared for it? I believe this is where faith in God and trust in His ability to take care of you comes in as against wanting to have all ends covered for.
2. The It-Is-Love that matters people
The other school of thought is the marry for love people; as long as you love each other, you will weather any storm. Even in the face of hunger and rain (because you don’t have shelter) your love for each other will see you through.
I won’t be too quick to refute this school of thought. As unsound as this ideology seem, it holds a key that the first school of thought might be missing out.
As much as someone can agree to marry you just because you have sufficient financial security, you being an insurance scheme to them and not really loving you for you. I bet you wouldn’t want that. We all want to be loved for who we are and not what we have or can provide, so love is very important.
You want to be married to someone who will stick with you in thick and thin, in hunger and in abundance. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have enough to provide because you have found someone who loves you for you.
And the truth be told, the strongest of love will be greatly threatened in the face of hunger and poverty, why not save yourself and the person you love that battle.
How Financially Stable Should A Man Be Before Marriage?
Here is the balance;
If anyone fails to provide for his own, and especially for those of his own family, he has denied the faith [by disregarding its precepts] and is worse than an unbeliever [who fulfils his obligation in these matters].
– 1 Timothy 5:8 AMP
As much as you cannot be entirely prepared and insured for all future expenses and events, have enough to get you by month in and month out.
Have a steady flow of income, a sure regular money inflow. No matter how little it might be, but enough to cover for the basis of life; feeding, clothing, and shelter.
Have a house, doesn’t have to be big with many rooms. After all, it will most likely be just you and your wife for the first year of your marriage.
Earn enough to provide for yourself and your wife, based on the lifestyle you have both agreed to. I had to include that because what it takes to meet the basic need of someone who uses only luxury brands and eats only imported food is quite different from someone who is comfortable with a good dress that might not be Gucci or Prada.
So, talk with your partner and decide what kind of lifestyle you want to have. Or if you are still single (better for you) just find someone whose lifestyle will suit your regular earning. Click To Tweet
And this doesn’t have to end here. You have to know that the basic needs for just you and your wife will be different once you have your first child, the second child and on. So, you must have the prospect to increase your regular earning. Otherwise just keep little junior with Daddy Jesus till you know your earnings can take care of his arrival.
I have seen people who wait till they are 35/40 before getting married because they are saving for the future. As good as it can be, and as much as there is no right age to be married. It comes with its own downsides. Sexual temptations, finding someone to marry and not just settling for anyone because age is no more on your side (except you find someone who is willing to wait all those years for you to be ready).
Make a sound decision. Wait till you have a regular income flow to take care of the basic needs fitting for you and your partner’s lifestyle, then trust God for growth and the unforeseen situations – that is my advice.
What do you think? Feel free to share your thought as a comment. Thank you for reading, kindly remember to share with someone.