LOVE

How (Not) to Meet the Love of Your Life

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When a friend recently requested that I write on the above subject matter, I thought at to myself, what would I say on this subject? Armed with wisdom the Word gives, advice from experienced persons, personal experience and good books on dating, I bring you;

Tips on how (not) to meet the love of your life.

– Have a standard

Many a times, mentors and older married friend have advised me to make a list of 10 things I want in a spouse. They say it helps one to have a standard for determining the individuals to let go of and the ones to consider for a romantic relationship. In this list, one must have needs and wants, negotiable and non-negotiable.

Make a list of 10 things you want in a spouse. It helps you to have a standard for determining the individuals to let go of and the ones to consider for a romantic relationship. Click To Tweet

As Christians, we need a spouse who’s submitted to God and His word. One who is active in the ministry of reconciliation. This standard applies to us all. On the other hand, we don’t all want an artistic spouse, our physical specs preferences may differ and so on. You may not have a list but make sure you have a standard so that when you meet the love of your life, you will recognize them.

– They don’t have to have a face (yet)

Some of us get stuck on making a certain individual “the one” even though they’ve shown us in every way that they are not interested in us. So as a lady, you and this guy whom you are attracted to have been chatting back to back (nothing more) and already you are fantasizing about the kids you would have, the Instagram photos you will take, what your marriage will look like…Hope you know that the possibility of marrying this person is not based on the beauty of your fantasy?

You need to get to know a person before you can decide if he or she is the one for you. Click To Tweet

You need to get to know a person before you can decide if he or she is the one for you. I don’t know if guys fantasize this way too but know this- just because you like a girl doesn’t mean she has to like you too (even if she chats with you everyday). She probably chats everyday with someone else too. Which leads me to the next point.

– We chat everyday

So? Chatting everyday doesn’t mean you guys are close/know each other well enough to take the friendship further- it could, depending on how honest both parties are. There’s a lot of non-verbal communication that takes place in conversations that chatting will mask. Before you conclude that you’ve met the love of your life, let there be some face to face meeting (I believe the man should initiate this) in addition to online messaging. It shows a level of seriousness and helps one to decipher the meaning of the non-verbal communication that this kind of socialization affords.

Chatting everyday doesn't mean you guys are close/know each other well enough to take the friendship further. Before you conclude that you've met the love of your life, let there be some face to face meeting Click To Tweet

– It’s just a date (or not)

A date is an event. It’s not a commitment. It’s an opportunity to find out if this person you feel (or may not feel) attracted to is worth committing to. However, if you have been on at least three dates with the same person, then it’s not just a date. You guys might as well date cos you’ve been “going out” a lot.

A date is an event, not a commitment. It's an opportunity to find out if this person is worth committing to. However, if you have been on at least three dates with the same person, then it's not just a date. Click To Tweet

If you know this person you’ve been going on numerous dates with is not the person you want to be with, stop the dates and let them go. It gives both of you the opportunity to meet the “love of your lives.”

If you know this person you've been going on numerous dates with is not the person you want to be with, stop the dates and let them go. Click To Tweet

– It’s all about where you find yourself

One can meet the love of their life anywhere. You just have to be present (physically/virtually/mentally) in one place at a point in time. It’s just take that one meeting that may lead to another and before you know it, the rest is history. It could be at the mall, church, online, work, school etc. Just be available, ready and interested.

One can meet the love of their life anywhere. You just have to be present (physically/virtually/mentally). Click To Tweet

Read – The Best Place to Find Your Marriage Partner

– Character is important

Sometimes we lose potential spouses because of bad character. Some wise persons have said “don’t just look for the right person, be the right person.” Laju Iren, a Relationship Counsellor, says that singleness is a time to work on one’s character. If you don’t work on your character, you will meet the love of your life and might lose him/her. I think this point is straightforward so enough said.

Sometimes we lose potential spouses because of bad character. If you don't work on your character, you will meet the love of your life and might lose him/her. Click To Tweet

– Much ado about nothing?

Every February, I discover that I have tendency to scowl anytime I come across one more material on romantic relationship. Yet, here I am writing a  similar material. The subject of marrying right is so important, hence the attendant proliferation of information. It is possible to marry wrong so rather than brush off every information, stick to certain individuals whose insights you trust on the matter.

– Take a chill pill

Being single and waiting can be daunting. Be happy anyways. I once watched a video by Jackie Hill Perry where she said that she envied single people when they mention going home to sleep after a long day. She can’t just do that with little children and a husband. Her point was not to make marriage look bad (she’s happily married) but to point out the pros of singleness. So dear single, take a chill pill and enjoy your singleness. No need to panic about the possibility of a romantic relationship, it will come. You can read this article for more information on this.

Dear single, take a chill pill and enjoy your singleness. No need to panic about the possibility of a romantic relationship, it will come. Click To Tweet

Read next – CALM DOWN! YOU’LL MARRY YOUR OWN BAE

Do you have other helpful tips? Please comment below.

P. S: if you are interested in having a good laugh at your single state. Check out this article: Single not Shingles.

Bolanle Abiola
Omobolanle Abiola is a young Christian lady who's currently trying out new things while finding her authentic self (in Christ, of course). She loves to read, draw and engage in interesting conversations (amongst other things).

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