I know that you are probably amazed at the title and you are wondering, “Does crush have another meaning?”, “Is that crush and Bible in the same sentence?” Lol! Well, yeah. It is the crush you know. The dictionary I checked online defines it as a brief but intense infatuation for someone, especially someone unattainable. And yes, the Bible does have a say about it.
Listen, dear friends… When I say God is concerned about everything that is going on in your life, I mean EVERYTHING. God would have His children understand and be conscious of that fact. So, even in your relationships and in how you handle your emotions, He has given you all you need to be godly (2 Pet 1:3).
So, yes there is a bible view about everything there is. Now, note that I am not talking about the letter here, this means that you probably wouldn’t find “Don’t smoke” in the Bible, but you’d see, “…Your body is the temple of the God…” Now, that tells us that since God dwells IN us, there is a way of handle our bodies. Hence, you would not do anything that would be detrimental to your body like smoking.
That’s how we are going to approach today’s discussion. In the bible, we see several examples of similar cases. Remember, how Amnon was so obsessed with Tamar (2 Sam 13). He was so obsessed with her that he raped her and the rest is a not-so-nice history. That is one case study we are going to use.
First, when you are crushing on someone, admit it.
Don’t try to be over spiritual. It is a desire, something that if not handled carefully can lead you into sin and if handled well, it would just be another passing temptation or maybe an eventual testimony.
The bible says we are in this world but not of this world. So, in this world, we deal with issues like this. It is almost impossible to separate yourself from them. However, God’s wisdom is made available to us to triumph over these things.
For instance, there will always be a really pretty girl around and a very fine looking guy around. So the point isn’t that you have a funny feeling for the person. The point is how do you handle it? And you probably wouldn’t know how to deal with it, if you keep denying it.
Remember our definition above stated, “…especially someone unattainable..”
Now so many people have had crushes on people that eventually become a spouse. So yes, a really fine sister has newly joined your unit in church and you start to crush on her. That doesn’t entirely rule out the possibility of something good coming out of it and in the same way, it doesn’t put a stamp on the fact that it will!
Understand your boundaries. If it is an unbeliever or someone you know God wouldn’t approve of you going into a relationship with, then you have to get your mind off the person. You have to show yourself that despite the chemistry reactions going on in your body and the jigi jigi happening in your chest, you are a man/woman of the spirit and you should live as such.
Even if the person is one God would approve of and the time isn’t right, you still need to get it out of your system. And then if God would approve of the person and you think the time is right, you need to go to God as the Father He is and pray for directions, clarity and take your time to allow the crush wear out into true love…
When crushing, clarify and take your time to allow the crush wear out or turn into true love. Click To Tweet
Whatever the case is, you need to get off that crushing phase and here’s is what you should do:
Master your heart.
Don’t come and tell me, “Ohhhh! I can’t stop thinking about him or her…” The bible tells us to guard our hearts (Provs 4:23) meaning we actually have the ability to control our hearts. Again, it says in
Again, it says in Philippians 4:8, “…fix your thoughts on these things” and in the book of Colossians 3:2, “Set your minds on things above and not earthly things…”. All this is telling us that it is very possible for you to determine what you think on.
Think less of your crushee…
Focus more on other things: God ultimately, service in church, your career, family or academics… anything but your crushee.
Don’t be like Amnon who dwelt so much on his emotions till they consumed him and that did cost him a lot.
Deliberately think less of the person.
When you start to do this, you’d be amazing how many times you have to check yourself. When you are crushing on someone, you think about them way more than you imagine… So think less of them!
A story was told of a man having two animals fighting on his inside: A wolf and a lamb. When the question of who would win was asked, He answered: “The one I feed more” I think you get the point…
Understand your worth.
A lot of times when you are crushing on someone, you feel you aren’t worthy enough to even be a friend to the person talk less of you earning any further promotion.
See, get it… God wasn’t whining you when He said: “..You are wonderfully and fearfully made…” (Psalm 139:14). Click To Tweet
So don’t start thinking you aren’t worthy to say hello… And maybe you have even been courageous to say hello and you were shunned, my brother move on. Remember, what defines you is what God says about you! Remember how special you are and don’t ever forget.
Bear in mind that your crush is human and not an angel even if they look like one.
A friend advised me one time and said: “Anybody you are crushing on, look for one bad thing and zoom in, really focus on that and the crush would die!” Funny how it always work the few times I tried it. Lol! But as I grew older, I realized I didn’t have to go that far. It may make me unnecessarily spiteful and hateful and that’s not God-like. So, I’ll just tell myself that no man is perfect in himself; it is God that completes a man. Hehehe!
But really, seeing them as humans would help bind and cast part if not all of the spirit of crushing.
Don’t be in a hurry to be a friend to that person even if you think God is saying: “Move, son!”
It is really funny how we think we hear God when we are crushing on someone. (That would be a topic for another day, lol.)
But yeah, calm down. If Amnon had been patient like Tamar advised him, maybe just maybe he would have gotten approval from the king to marry her and the story would have been different.
Walk ye in the spirit!
Yup, you read that right. “…Walk ye in the spirit that you may not fulfill the desires of the flesh…” – (Gal 5:16)
A lot of times, like Amnon did, crushes make people act in the flesh. You need to instruct your mind and body after your spirit. Don’t allow your emotions lead you for one minute. Engage the Holy Spirit (He has the best advises, trust me) *wink wink*
He knows even beyond what you can see. Receive counsel from God’s spirit and be ye obedient…
This is where I’ll draw the curtains on this. Kindly let us know in the comment boxes of more ways from the Bible we can handle a crush. I also would love to learn!
And like I tell my friends, there is no running away from it. Even when you are married, you’d probably meet a prettier lady or finer man and it may be in your face like at work. So, the earlier you learn to master your heart and instruct your body, emotions in God’s ways, the better.