I thought I could handle a breakup, or rather, I thought I could never be heartbroken. But when my last relationship ended, my heart was shattered. I guess this happened because I never thought I’d ever have to face a break up, so why prepare for a heartbreak? It was almost a year after the break up- yet my heart still bled and ached from a heartbreak I was never taught to deal with.
But let us back down a bit.
Let me clear all doubts. You can never know whose caused the breakup and as a matter of fact it is not your business. I must let you know however, that my ex isn’t a bad person, neither am I. I guess some things aren’t just meant to be. We sometimes think we have some things figured out whereas we don’t even have the slightest clue.
How do you handle a Breakup? How do you heal from a break up?
First, I must state how not to heal from a break up.
Three days after my relationship ended, I became so angry that I asked myself what the point was, hurting over a past that doesn’t deserve a place in my memory. I then turned to anger for healing and I got it. I was cool. All my hurt and inability to sleep and or get that the reality of a year and half investment was gone, I was good. Like for real I was good, but only on the surface.
Anger can provide a temporary fix to a broken heart. To cover the hurt with painful memories, you make yourself detest the past you once adored. That way, you think you are over the break up just because you have put before you memories of the sad times. But in reality, you most likely still have not forgiven and hurt somewhere inside of you and duhh, you are feeding on the bad memories.
2. Rebound Love
Another popular way people attempt to solve their hurt is by seeking the next available hand. What better way to solve a problem caused by love than to start anew. But this, often times, has proven to be a pseudo-love because, at that moment you are hurting from a heartbreak, you aren’t entirely being objective and thinking straight. All you care about at that point is to get over the feeling of hurt from the failed relationship.
How I got over my heartbreak;
SO back to my own experience.
I didn’t get over my hurt over night. Although anger provided a very good “quick-fix”, it was like good riddance to bad rubbish. Even though I won’t say that I was still hurting, I realized that I had an unforgiving heart. I still held the things she did to me against her. I hadn’t really let go. Funny enough we kind of resumed talking by then, but it was just me putting up an act on the surface. Why should I expose to her that I am still hurting when it seemed she had moved on?
But, BOOM! The light came.
It dawned on me that the breakup was the best thing that could have happened to a dysfunctional relationship. I mean for how long would I have kept trying to fix what was bound to fail? (i’m not saying that is always the case, some things are worth fighting for, but be sincere with yourself). Staying in the relationship, settling for less than I deserved definitely wasn’t the best. The best would be to leave the relationship so I can have the opportunity to meet that person that would make it all worth it; someone that would love and cherish the me I am now while we work with each other to become better individuals.
I must state clearly like I did earlier that my ex isn’t a bad person, she is a lovely and wonderful individual, but not every great person is meant for you. Not everyone can love “you”. This aforementioned sentence will inform the next article I will be sharing- it will be titled “MORE IMPORTANT THAN HIM/HER LOVING GOD”
Thank you for reading. Kindly leave a comment.