Well, I like this guy and we kind of have this “connection” lol, I really like him and I think he does so too and I understand a lot of things about not dating for fun, looking at marriage, developing yourself etc but now, looking towards the future, I can actually imagine myself dating him and all (LOL) but the problem is that he is 7 months younger than me.
Is that a serious issue and there some Nigerian marriages like that which still worked out, so it has really been on my mind. Any advice?
We have seen many many successful marriages where the lady is much older than the man (even with as much as 4 years in the case of Cornelius and Heather Lindsey). So, it is not a reason not to pursue the relationship, but when he is younger, here are a few things you should note or ask yourself.
1. Is the age difference an issue for you?
This is probably one of the two most important questions you must answer? Is this the age difference an issue for you?
And you need to be honest with yourself when answering this. Think of it thoroughly. Does it matter to you if your friends find out he is younger, does it matter of the public finds out? (I know it’s not their business, but you have to put this into consideration). Will you be hiding your birthdays because of this?#WhenHeIsYounger, ask yourself, 'is the age difference an issue for me?' Does it matter to me if my friends find out he is younger, does it matter if the public finds out? #AskLifegiva Click To Tweet
You need to ask this question and be certain, sincere and realistic about the answer.
2. Can you submit to him?
I have seen cases where young people were mature enough to lead a home and lead their partner and I’ve seen the case where older men couldn’t lead their own homes, so we know that age does not necessarily mean maturity.
You need to ask yourself if he is someone you can submit to.#WhenHeIsYounger, you need to ask yourself if he is someone you can submit to. #AskLifegiva Click To Tweet
This is generally a question every lady must ask themselves when they have a man they are considering, but it becomes even more important in the case where he is younger.
Submission will mean you will have to do whatever he instructs and says even if you don’t think that’s the right thing or the best thing to do. Think of him as a pilot and you a passenger, do you trust him enough to pilot your plane?
You are simply asking yourself if the case of “why will you tell me that, don’t you know I’m older than you” or “why will you act like that, don’t you know I’m older” will ever come up in the course of your marriage.Ask yourself, will the case of 'why will you tell me that, don’t you know I’m older than you' or 'why will you act like that, don’t you know I’m older' will ever come up in the course of your marriage. #WhenHeIsYounger #AskLifegiva Click To Tweet
3. Is it the age difference an issue for him?
I find this question equally important to the first I mentioned because if the age difference isn’t an issue for you but it is an issue for him, that’s a problem.
It takes two to tangle. He must be equally as convinced in pursuing the relationship as you are regardless of the age difference.It takes two to tangle. He must be equally as convinced in pursuing the relationship as you are regardless of the age difference. #WhenHeIsYounger #AskLifegiva Click To Tweet
Being a guy (I might be wrong), I feel it’s more of an issue for guys than it is for ladies, ladies are easily loving not counting the age difference, but it matters more to guys for the following reasons
- Does she look older?
Most guys are motivated by what they see, so if you are older, do you also look older? Are you more likely to age faster than him? Does he care about looks really badly?
- Does she make him look lesser than him?
And as it is said of guys, this majorly attacks their egotistical nature. Men want to be head, they want to be seen as the leader and the mere fact that you are older threatens that.Men want to be head, they want to be seen as the leader and the mere fact that you are older threatens that. So, you need to consider and talk about this. #WhenHeIsYounger #AskLifegiva Click To Tweet
4. What do your parents or family think?
Let me put this out here, know your parents and family’s stand before you fall in love. ‘Prevention is better than cure’ is always my advice on this issue.Know your parents and family's stand before you fall in love. Marriage and building a home is easier when you have the support of your family. #WhenHeIsYounger #AskLifegiva Click To Tweet
As for those who are in it already and have issues with their family, we will answer that extensive in another post (most likely tomorrow)
But know what your family thinks, it’s important. Marriage and building a home is easier when you have the support of your family. Tell them early enough about him and about the age difference, don’t tell them after you’ve been dating for 2 years and you are preparing to get married. That will afford you enough time to know their stand and possibly convince them early enough.
I will also advise that let them meet him before they know his age.
Human beings are generally biased, so you want to give him enough opportunity to prove his worth to your family (beyond his age).
If they meet him, as your friend, and they get familiar with him, you will have given them the chance to know him for who he is (and not just his age) and make them see all the great personalities and characters that endears you to him long before you let them know he is younger, that way, their refusal will not be solely based on his age (if there is any at all). He will have a better fighting advantage.#WhenHeIsYounger, Let your family meet him before they know his age, so he will have enough opportunity to prove his worth to your family (beyond his age). And you need to meet his family early before the whole age difference… Click To Tweet
And I must say that he needs to do the same, you need to meet his family neutrally when there is no hostility about age difference in the air.
I hope this answer your question. If you have ab advice for the lady who asked this question, please leave us a comment. If you have a question, send us a mail at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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