Miss D: I can’t get over my ex🙄 and he’ll not stop talking to me🙄 he has a girlfriend now but it’s hard being his friend. It has been 2 years since the breakup but it’s annoying
I just think I’m not emotionally stable 😅😂

Above was a message I received from a friend a few days ago, and I must state that it’s a huge selfishness for a partner who have moved on to hold back the other partner.

It’s a huge selfishness for a partner who have moved on to hold back the other partner. Click To Tweet

Yes, I know this is sometimes done in ignorance, the relationship ended for whatever reason, but you’ll still love to have the person as a friend, so you keep communicating like you are still an item.

I have heard cases where people intentionally tone down the frequency with which they communicated with someone on finding out the person is in a relationship. I believe the same should be applied when a relationship ends.

To reply Miss D’s message “I can’t get over my ex and he’ll not stop talking to me”. I sent her the following.

Tolulope Oludapo: That’s very unfair on you. If he respects you, he should reduce communication.
Guys wanna eat their cake and have it.
Please dear, severe all communication with him so you can move on.
Block him on all platforms, even if it’s just for a month. You need that space to move on.
And you don’t need to explain to him why you’ve blocked him. Don’t even tell him.
Or tell him.
Say, “bro, I’m so sorry, but we can’t keep talking like this, I want to respect your relationship. I won’t like to be in your babe’s shoe. Plus I need to focus on myself and move on.”

Are you in similar shoes as Miss D? It is obvious a relationship won’t happen between you both, but the communication keeps messing with your emotions, it creates the illusion that just maybe something might still work out between you both, please take the hard step of creating a boundary.

This will be hard. Trust me, I know. I once spoke with another lady in a similar situation. He is her best friend, he knows she likes him, he has a girlfriend, but the role he plays in her life is so vital there is no one else playing that role. Remember I said he is her best friend, he is her go to person, adviser, counselor…

No one is irreplaceable. That no one else has been able to fill in that void doesn’t mean no one else will. So, maybe you need to create the vacancy first.

No one is irreplaceable. That no one else has been able to fill in that void doesn’t mean no one else will. Click To Tweet

I am not saying it’s bad to stay in touch with an ex, where is gets bad is when keeping touch prevents you from moving on, when it messes with your emotions, when it keeps you dependent on the relationship you have with that person.

So, the reason you are severing communication with the person, even if it’s temporary is to heal. To outgrow that dependency that exist. Give yourself the chance to meet other people and build new bonds and relationships.

Give yourself the chance to meet other people and build new bonds and relationships. Click To Tweet

To the guys and even ladies, please please, let’s do better. Protect the heart of your ex. Once you notice that you’ve moved on the other party is having a hard time moving on is not the time to make them your business or prayer partner. Give them some space instead, they might hate you for it at that moment, but they will be grateful for it later.

I am not saying it’s bad to stay in touch with an ex, where is gets bad is when keeping touch prevents you from moving on, when it messes with your emotions. Click To Tweet

Healing or moving on comes very hard for some, and you want to make sure you don’t make it any harder for them.

Give your ex the space to heal, to move on. Click To Tweet

A more comprehensive article answering the question, ‘Can I Stop Liking Someone’ will be published soon. So, subscribe.

I will recommend you read HOW TO HANDLE A HEARTBREAK AND/OR BREAKUP

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