Intending Christian Couples and Sexual Compatibility


Sexual compatibility is a legitimate cause of concern for intending Christian couples.

Nah, don’t give me that look.

God is the inventor of sex. I mean, God sat down and designed sex so please get that look off your face 😊 Sex is not “dirty” as many Christians may think. It only has to be done within the right context – marriage.

Also, in as much God invented sex for procreation, God also designed sex to bring us pleasure.


God is the inventor of sex. I mean, God sat down and designed sex, and he designed sex not just for procreation but also to bring us pleasure. Click To Tweet

So again, this is a legitimate cause of concern. Intending Christian couples SHOULD think about this. I am not for all that pretense and talking about everything else but sex. I am not also for talking about sex up until the point where you begin walking the talk. There should be boundaries, to avoid stories that touch – but it is healthy that expectations, experiences and every other thing that may be of importance are discussed.

This past week, I heard about a couple – in summary, the husband had some problems with his reproductive system – which affected his sexual life. He hid this from his wife under the guise of “good church boy”. They got married and her problems began. First, she wasn’t sexually satisfied; second, they couldn’t have children. And you think “sex” is not an important issue to discuss? Think again.

However, as important and legitimate as this may be, a question tugs my heart: Do you really trust God?

Please do not roll your eyes at me. Honestly, do you? I think we concern ourselves with a lot of worrying and baggage that’s totally unnecessary. You’ve told God you want a spouse. He’s leading you to someone and you know it’s God leading you – yet you wonder if this person will fit you sexually…

Truth is what a lot of people term as sexual compatibility stems from two major things: multiple prior sexual experiences and pornography. Both cases would have installed in your head, ideas of what your spouse should be like in bed. When people hold their spouses to that level of expectation and they don’t meet up, that’s when the talk of sexual compatibility and problems start to arise. On the other hand, if we stick to God’s way of doing things, problems like this will most likely not come up. Even if you are married and your wife/husband is a virgin, and doesn’t know all the sexual styles and all the so-called routes to heaven, you can teach them.

Click To Tweet

Back to my point of you trusting God, you’ve got to know what God is saying and trust Him. I have seen people who had a concern for their health but were extremely convinced God wanted them to be together. As I speak, they (and their children) are doing fine.
My point here is simple: we have got to get a point where we can trust the leading of God in our life’s choices.

I should also say that even though sex is important in marriage, it is not all there is to marriage. There may be some challenges with one’s sex life – maybe a baggage of abuse that’s not enabling them to open up. With God, this can be dealt with. When we say there is nothing God cannot do, do we really mean it? Sometimes, God can be leading you to a particular person that will be instrumental to your destiny – however, if your entire focus is on these things, you might miss out. Honestly, these things can be fixed (especially with God as your pillar).

When we say there is nothing God cannot do, do we really mean it? Click To Tweet

As we know it, the heart of man is desperately wicked and sometimes, one party isn’t coming out clean. This is why some churches and counselling centres suggest that all manner of fertility and genotype tests are carried out. You may choose to do this just to check for issues if there be and make your choice from a well-informed foundation. This takes me back again to you as an individual and your relationship with God. Like I often say, the Holy Spirit in me cannot keep quiet and allow someone to scam me forever. I mean, this is beyond sexual compatibility, There’s a lot more to marriage than this. If someone’s not coming out clean, something should tick inside of you as a child of God- if you’re sensitive.

I’ll like to add, falling into fornication just to “test microphone” IS NOT Of God. It has never been, it still isn’t and it will NEVER be.  It is a plot and trap of the devil. Please do not subscribe to it. The God who said “No sex before marriage” knew of sexual compatibility (obviously, I mean He created sex) even before He instituted the rule – and His stance hasn’t changed. Fornication is not an option for the believer for whatever reason.

Falling into fornication just to 'test microphone' IS NOT Of God. It has never been, it still isn’t and it will NEVER be Click To Tweet

You can make informed choices however via honest communication, as well as medical tests – if the need arises.
You don’t need to test the waters (fornicate) to see how compatible you are.

You don't need to test the waters to see how compatible you are. Click To Tweet

Do let me know what you think 🙂 🙂 🙂

Also on this topic, read – SEXUAL COMPATIBILITY

Ozioma Paul

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  1. The reason we have such issues as sexual compatibility is because the couple have individually, tasted sex outside marriage and have created for themselves a compatible scheme. If you’ve never had KFC chicken you won’t know that you don’t like Chicken Republic’s ‍♀️
    If God has said he has reserved the best for You, best believe it’s exactly that, THE BEST!
    Now, that doesn’t take away the place of honesty and communication, you gotta talk about everything, sex included. We are not to have sex before marriage, which is true, but doesn’t mean we should run away from talking about it. The church is seriously lagging in this aspect, but I see a change in this generation, and it’s exciting to witness!

  2. Great read….nice scriptural take on a seemingly very controversial issue. Well done sir.

  3. Girl, been seeing this trend resently and I got super concerned and confused. For one, I am waiting, i don’t even know how I’d feel about sex. Then I have to worry if its good enough for me. Well i once heard a preacher say you could take your partner to a trusted doctor to check them out ‍♀️
    But I always rest in this the Bible says in due time Christ died as a substitute for the ungodly meaning if Christ can die at the right time he will give me just what I need at the right time .

  4. Great article…

    The article centered basically on those who are sensitive to the leading of God’s Spirit. What about those “Christians/church goers”, still virgins and all who just do the little things and have never heard from God or are still having issues trusting God completely?

    1. Hello Babs,

      Thank you for your feedback.
      As regards, your question: For those who are Christians but haven’t heard from God or having troubles trusting God, I’ll say it’s beyond a marriage matter. It is something the individual ought to take time out to settle not just for marriage sake but for life. God intends for his children to speak to him and for them to be able to hear him speak back. God also wants for us to be able to trust Him. We have a post on hearing from God, I believe it would further clarify what I am saying:

      Cheers 🙂

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