Intending Christian Couples and Sexual Compatibility

Sexual compatibility is a legitimate cause of concern for intending Christian couples.

Nah, don’t give me that look.

God is the inventor of sex. I mean, God sat down and designed sex so please get that look off your face 😊 Sex is not “dirty” as many Christians may think. It only has to be done within the right context – marriage.

Also, in as much God invented sex for procreation, God also designed sex to bring us pleasure.

Amen?

So again, this is a legitimate cause of concern. Intending Christian couples SHOULD think about this. I am not for all that pretense and talking about everything else but sex. I am not also for talking about sex up until the point where you begin walking the talk. There should be boundaries, to avoid stories that touch – but it is healthy that expectations, experiences and every other thing that may be of importance are discussed.

This past week, I heard about a couple – in summary, the husband had some problems with his reproductive system – which affected his sexual life. He hid this from his wife under the guise of “good church boy”. They got married and her problems began. First, she wasn’t sexually satisfied; second, they couldn’t have children. And you think “sex” is not an important issue to discuss? Think again.

However, as important and legitimate as this may be, a question tugs my heart: Do you really trust God?

Please do not roll your eyes at me. Honestly, do you? I think we concern ourselves with a lot of worrying and baggage that’s totally unnecessary. You’ve told God you want a spouse. He’s leading you to someone and you know it’s God leading you – yet you wonder if this person will fit you sexually…

Truth is what a lot of people term as sexual compatibility stems from two major things: multiple prior sexual experiences and pornography. Both cases would have installed in your head, ideas of what your spouse should be like in bed. When people hold their spouses to that level of expectation and they don’t meet up, that’s when the talk of sexual compatibility and problems start to arise. On the other hand, if we stick to God’s way of doing things, problems like this will most likely not come up. Even if you are married and your wife/husband is a virgin, and doesn’t know all the sexual styles and all the so-called routes to heaven, you can teach them.

Back to my point of you trusting God, you’ve got to know what God is saying and trust Him. I have seen people who had a concern for their health but were extremely convinced God wanted them to be together. As I speak, they (and their children) are doing fine.
My point here is simple: we have got to get a point where we can trust the leading of God in our life’s choices.

I should also say that even though sex is important in marriage, it is not all there is to marriage. There may be some challenges with one’s sex life – maybe a baggage of abuse that’s not enabling them to open up. With God, this can be dealt with. When we say there is nothing God cannot do, do we really mean it? Sometimes, God can be leading you to a particular person that will be instrumental to your destiny – however, if your entire focus is on these things, you might miss out. Honestly, these things can be fixed (especially with God as your pillar).

As we know it, the heart of man is desperately wicked and sometimes, one party isn’t coming out clean. This is why some churches and counselling centres suggest that all manner of fertility and genotype tests are carried out. You may choose to do this just to check for issues if there be and make your choice from a well-informed foundation. This takes me back again to you as an individual and your relationship with God. Like I often say, the Holy Spirit in me cannot keep quiet and allow someone to scam me forever. I mean, this is beyond sexual compatibility, There’s a lot more to marriage than this. If someone’s not coming out clean, something should tick inside of you as a child of God- if you’re sensitive.

I’ll like to add, falling into fornication just to “test microphone” IS NOT Of God. It has never been, it still isn’t and it will NEVER be.  It is a plot and trap of the devil. Please do not subscribe to it. The God who said “No sex before marriage” knew of sexual compatibility (obviously, I mean He created sex) even before He instituted the rule – and His stance hasn’t changed. Fornication is not an option for the believer for whatever reason.

You can make informed choices however via honest communication, as well as medical tests – if the need arises.
You don’t need to test the waters (fornicate) to see how compatible you are.

Do let me know what you think 🙂 🙂 🙂

Also on this topic, read – SEXUAL COMPATIBILITY