This is a very important issues we are discussing, a matter of the heart, marital destiny, so we will approach it carefully and gradually.

In the Old Testament Bible days, we see how God communicated to his people through prophets and judges, people like Moses, Samuel, Elijah. That, however, isn’t the case for us as people of the New Testament AKA Believers AKA Children of God.

God no longer needs a mediator to communicate with us. Romans 8:14 says “For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, the are the sons of God”

This goes to say that every believer has the capacity to be led by God. Whether this believer knows how to be led is a different matter entirely, but every believer possesses the ability to be led by God.

God did not design for the believer to be led of prophets. Instead, prophets are meant to confirm what we already know or are now convinced of. Click To Tweet

Let me tell you a short story. In the bible days, Acts 21 to be precise, some people had prophesied to Paul that trouble awaited him in Jerusalem and so they begged him not to embark on the journey to Jerusalem. This wasn’t just said by one, but by at least two groups of people. Yet, Paul went to Jerusalem.

Did he get into trouble? Yes.
Does that mean he was in the wrong to go despite the warnings? No.

Here’s what played out: They were right by the Spirit of God that trouble awaited Paul in Jerusalem, but they weren’t right that he should not go as we would later see in Acts 23:11. Jesus appeared to Paul in Jerusalem to encourage him, Jesus said to him, “…Be of good cheer, Paul: for as thou hast testified of me in Jerusalem, so must thou bear witness also at Rome…”

So, we see God actually had need of him not only in Jerusalem but as at Rome: Paul was in the will of God. Regardless of the pressure on Paul not to go by people prophesying by the Spirit, Paul was convinced of the fact that he ought to go. Hence, no matter what was said to dissuade him, he didn’t budge.

Someone may ask, are you saying they were not prophesying aright, or the Spirit of God was lying? Definitely not, I personally believe those prophecies came as a warning – to prepare Paul for what laid ahead of him. But those people were only getting emotional when they asked him not to go. Call it the human effect or error, lol.

If God could speak to Saul (who turned Paul) who was at the time an unbeliever, why would you think that God would refrain from speaking to you, His child and bearer of His Spirit? Click To Tweet

Because man is imperfect, there is a need for prophecies to be judged first by the Word of God and then you must be convinced in your own spirit. This emphasizes the fact that every believer should be led by God. It is never too early to start to hear from God. In fact, if the first time you would be hearing from God would be in the case of marriage, that is a problem already. We as believers ought to practice being led by God even in seemingly small decisions so that when the big ones like marriage come we are not confused.

If the first time you would be hearing from God would be in the case of marriage, that is a problem already. Click To Tweet

Learn how to hear from God yourself. Those that partake in contracting prayer and fasting to some prophet are in serious error. God can speak to you for you. You do not need any mediator. The believer has the Holy Spirit of promise in him that will lead him into all truth if he would allow. I think that a lot of believers are too lazy to pray and wait on God. If you pray and wait on God, God would talk to you.

While you test all spirits, you must be careful that you are not biased. Some people are not led by God not because God doesn’t speak but simply because they have what they want to hear already. Click To Tweet

So, what if your Pastor tells you that your partner is not for you?

1. What is the Pastor’s reason?

I think the very and maybe the singular thing to consider is the reason why your pastor is asking you to break your engagement. Is it a valid reason that you have merely been blinded to. A medical condition, an abusive trait from the partner…or is itself construed or cultural reasons? Reasons without a basis from God’s word?

For instance, if you pastor is pointing out a critical issue like an abusive nature or financial indiscipline, it is important that you do not just dismiss it as a hate speech or a false witness especially if these traits are valid.

Set your emotions aside and with the help of the Holy Spirit, think clearly. But if it is something like tribal differences, you know the word of God to say that, Jews or Gentiles – we are one in Christ (Gal 3:28). Marriage isn’t an entirely emotional matter. These things matter too.

If you pastor is pointing out a critical issue like an abusive nature or financial indiscipline, it is important that you do not just dismiss it as a hate speech or a false witness especially if these traits are valid. Click To Tweet

2. Are there other witnesses?

Two or three prophets should speak, and the others should weigh carefully what is said. – 1 Cor 14:29

Paul in giving wisdom on how spiritual gift should be conducted in the church gave the verse above, when someone is prophesying, let others judge what is prophesied. You might want to ask, judge against what standard or basis? Judge by God’s word.

The Bible is superior to any human uttered prophesy. It must never contradict the word of God. For instance, if a pastor prophecies that you are to marry a man who already has a wife, then you know that Pastor has totally missed it. So let others judge, you too should judge against the word of God.

“Do not despise prophecies, but test everything; hold fast what is good” -1 Thessalonians 5:20-21

Many people have been wrecked because of personal prophecies that they weren’t careful to judge. Click To Tweet

And often times, you will have a witness in your spirit also because a child of God, you have that very same spirit that gave (or supposed) gave that Pastor that word lives in you also, so He will bear witness with your spirit also.

3. Could the Prophecy or Vision have other meaning or application?

I am being very careful at this point, seeing that someone’s marriage might depend on it.

Just like the case where a prophecy was given to Paul forbidding to embark on his journey to Rome, where in fact it was to prepare him and encourage him for that journey because he had to go, prophecies are misinterpreted sometimes, they are given a whole separate application as it was intended.

This is why the second above is very important, get others to weigh in on it, get multiple witnesses, but at the end, the decision is yours to make, not the Pastors, not the witnesses, you.

This is why the second above is very important, get others to weigh in on it, get multiple witnesses, but at the end, the decision is yours to make. Click To Tweet

Which leads to my last point.

4. Find Out if there is no intentional Deception involved

As sad as this point it, as much as it shouldn’t even be mentioned at all, it happens. We see cases where someone who is supposed to be a messenger of God is paid or asked to give a false and misleading prophecy. It is not a new thing, it has always been.

Remember Balaam, a prophet of God was paid to give a negative word over Israel, and another example worth mentioning was when Ahab got 300 Prophets to deceive Jehoshaphat into going into battle with him, where only one Prophet Micah spoke the truth.

In conclusion, discard any prophecy that doesn’t align with the scripture, what God has told you or what you have in your spirit regardless of who said what or how long the person has been in ministry. The word of God over all else.

I hope this has offered a level of wisdom. Please leave a comment below, we’ll love to know your thought.

And to ask a question, send an email to hello@lifegiva.com

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