You may be fresh out of a break-up or you have had the break-up for a while now or you are yet to get into a relationship, there is always the pressure to do it right (this time around). It’s never too late to start preparing for your next relationship. In this post, we’d look at tips from the Bible (of course! It is our standard)… on how we can better prepare so that when the man/woman shows up, we are better equipped.
Understand who you are in God.
Someone is saying, “really? but is just a relationship…” It is not just a relationship o. A proper understanding of who you are would help you choose better. Understand that you are not a half waiting for some lady/guy to fill you up. Know that you are not waiting for some person to come into your life before you fulfil God’s plans and purpose for your life. Understand that you are complete in Christ married or single because the bible says so. (Colossians 2:10)
Discontentment is a major issue. So many people keep going from relationship to relationship seeking for what only God can give – then they get married and are still discontent because there is a place in the heart of man that ONLY God can fill. So in preparation for your next relationship, allow God satisfy you. Let His presence be enough for you. (1 Cor 7:17).
“And don’t be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God’s place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life. Don’t think I’m being harder on you than on the others. I give this same counsel in all the churches…”
Be very intentional about your choices.
As believers, we are expected to be intentional about our relationships. Have the right mindset. I really hope that your goal of this ‘next relationship’ is that it leads to marriage. You shouldn’t just enter a relationship just for the fun of it. It’d leave you both drained and offence might even set in on one or both parties.
Leave the past where it belongs – in the past.
Don’t carry baggage from your past. God has forgiven you, forgive yourself and move on. Don’t join the devil in beating yourself up about the past … (Col 2:1-15) “…All sins are forgiven, the slate wiped clean, that old arrest warrant cancelled and nailed to Christ’s cross.”
This is your current state so move on. Even if you feel you are the one who did the wrong, forgive yourself and move on still. Holding on would do both you and your new partner harm. You need to give yourself and your new partner a chance outside your past experiences. If you are still hurting from the past, I advice that you take some time off… and allow God heal you. Don’t just jump into the next relationship. Your past is something that should not follow you into a relationship.
While you wait for the Mr Perfect or Miss Perfect to come, work on yourself – to be the kind of person you’d want to marry. Spend time praying, studying the Bible, reading bible-based books on relationships, attending seminars and conferences, building your career and finances. When you get into a relationship or marriage, honestly there are things you may not have the luxury of doing again (Prov 6:6-11) I once heard someone say… a lot of people are praying for life partners but the Lord knows there are not prepared! So God is sending you tests through your siblings, parents, colleagues at work, random people on the streets.. you are skipping them. You are just missing these preparation classes and then you wonder what is taking so long. You need to be sensitive to the training and dealings of the Holy Spirit in your heart. Give yourself to preparation!
Believe that God’s got your life plan.
And that all would happen in His own time (Ecc 3:11). In life, there is a season for everything. There is a season of singleness and a season to be in a relationship. You should know what season your life is in as your fellowship with the Father. I learned long ago that when you commit the reins of your life to God, you just have to move with God’s speed. God has a program for your life – everything planned to happen right in its time. Not even your prayer and fasting can twist God’s arm. So don’t force these things. You can’t bribe God… lol, you really can’t. Move only when God says ‘go’
Move only when God says 'go!' Don't ahead of yourself thinking you'd drag God along. Follow Him step by step. It is better that way. Click To Tweet
In the meantime, enjoy the season. Celebrate this phase of your life. Like you wake up every morning and with joy, you say: “Thank you, Daddy, for this singleness phase!” (lol… I am actually serious though) and then you jump up and go straight into your day, winning souls to God, terrorizing the kingdom of darkness and smashing your goals. If in the course of jumping around your day, she/he shows up, God is good! You’d have been enjoying your life up until that time fulfilling purpose. If she/he doesn’t show up in the course of jumping around, God is still good! You would have been enjoying your life up until the fellow shows up or up until Jesus comes back. Did someone just shout ‘God forbid’???! Lol… you people!
Anyways, the second that just went by now is never ever coming back… same with yesterday. So enjoy every single moment of this phase, make the best of it and make sure the next phase would meet you prepared.
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