If nothing else, I have learned that the quality of your decision is very dependent on how good the amount of information you have is. I bet you probably won’t have dated some people you did if you had known some things about them prior to dating them.
What I want to attempt to do with this post is to highlight all the basic questions you should ask and get a satisfactory answer to before asking a lady to be in a relationship with you. (To the ladies, no worries, you can read Questions To Ask Before Getting into a Relationship With Him).
1. How crazy are you about me?
One of the biggest reason people break up is that they stop loving their partner, someone I believe they once loved or at least thought they love. If the relationship that once had love fails, what would you now say about the one where one or both of the parties aren’t sure if they love each other?
Why is this necessary? Ask yourself (both parties) if you have enough love to ignore every other handsome/beautiful person, if you have enough love to stand through the doubts, storm, convincing your family and friends, and every other drama that come with a relationship.
What I’m saying, in summary, is ask her if she loves you enough to stick it through all thick and thin.
2. Can you Respect and Submit to me? Can you follow my leadership
Respect is big for guys, we can’t even lie about it. And there is no point dating someone who cannot respect you, who cannot submit to your leadership. So, it is very important you ask this question before entering into a relationship with her.
And may I also add that this is beyond asking her; “Can you respect me”, but being observant and see how she takes your opinion and suggestions, how she relates to you and what she thinks of you.
Does she think you are wise enough to lead the relationship, to make good judgements and decisions? Does she always contradict or argue your stand and goes her own way against your direction.Does she think you are wise enough to lead the relationship, to make good judgements and decisions? Does she always contradict or argue your stand and goes her own way? Click To Tweet
This assuming you are wise and can actually be followed. That is very important. She won’t follow you if you can’t lead.
I should say this also add for following your faith and believes, core values and outlook to life.
3. Do You Really Want To Date Me?
This question seems very weird, but I think it’s important. There are people who appreciate you as a person, maybe even a friend, a mentor, prayer partner, but never as a partner. You are just not the kind of person they see themselves getting married to.
And, if the answer turns out to not be in your favour, I don’t think you should feel hurt about it. Yes, any form of rejection is painful, but this rejection is one that will save you from a fruitless investment, and we guys know how foolish we get when we love someone.
Find out early enough, am I just a brother to you, or you can date me.Find out early enough, am I just a brother to you, or can you date me? Click To Tweet
4. Is there any medical condition/health issues I should know about?
Some things are easier to handle when you aren’t too vested in the relationship, or when you aren’t committed yet in the relationship. Also, some things are easier to handle if you have been pre-informed about them, as compared to finding out later and feeling deceived or led on intentionally, and such is the case of Genotype (where both partners are AS) or any other medical conditions that might hamper the other partner or the relationships.
So, ask all the health-related questions prior to sealing the relationship.
And, this is not even to say that the answer to the question is to prevent you from entering the relationship, but it just better prepares you for the journey you are embarking on.
5. Are you in a relationship with anyone?/Is anyone in a relationship with you?
Ladies most of the times always have many suitors/admirer, some they have clearly informed they aren’t interested, and some they are just keeping in limbo as a backup plan. So, you need to know if she is really single, single single.
The worst kind of person to pursue a relationship with is someone who is in another relationship.
I know there are cases where her present relationship is crumbling or on the verge of a breakup, my advice is simple, let is become conclusive before you move into the relationship. Trust me, you don’t want to be branded a boyfriend-snatcher and you don’t want to be the reason the relationship ended.Ask if he/she is in a relationship with anyone? Even if the relationship is on the verge of a breakup, trust me, you don't want to be branded a girl/boyfriend-snatcher and you don't want to be the reason the relationship ended. Click To Tweet
6. Do you support my career choice?
There is nothing like a relationship where the partners are a real team. Do you know that verse in the bible that says two are better than one.
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. For if one falls down, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to help him up! – Ecc 4:9-10
I am not saying she needs to be actively involved in your work or business, no no no, you don’t have to be business partners. She should have a life of her own, one you must be willing to be a part of and support also. But the point here is that she must approve of what you do. It is important that she sees and believes your ability and means through which you will take care of her and the family you’ll have.There is nothing like a relationship where the partners are a real team. Click To Tweet
She must see and acknowledge where you are now and where you are headed.
One easy way to win a man’s heart is to love and actively support what he does, and one easy way to lose a man’s heart is to talk/work against what he does.One easy way to win a man's heart is to love and actively support what he does, and one easy way to lose a man's heart is to talk/work against what he does. Click To Tweet
7. What is your idea or expectations of a relationship?
I have found out that dating relationship means different things to different people. Both in the sense of where it’s headed or what is expected of the other party and what is permitted in the relationship.
To some people, that I am dating you doesn’t mean I want to marry you. To some people, that I said Yes means you are now responsible for all my needs, to some, now that we are dating, we can now have sex and the likes.You need to ask What his/her idea or expectations of a relationship is? I have found out that dating relationship means different things to different people. Both in the sense of where it's headed or what is expected and what is… Click To Tweet
So, having any assumptions on what a relationship means and entails to her will be a grave danger.
Thanks for reading, kindly share other questions you think should be asked below.