The closest thing to a long distance relationship I have ever been in was with a guy in Lagos while I was in school in Ogun State. It might not qualify as long distance, but it was a whole LOT of distance for me.
To cut the long story short, the relationship ended and distance was one of the many reasons why.
I might not have sufficient experience to write this post, but I have seen and spoken with a lot of people in successful long distance relationships. So I’ll share what I have learnt so far from those with successful long distance relationships in this post.
1. Be disciplined, be very disciplined.
Being in a relationship where the both of you do not see eye-to-eye regularly requires a lot of discipline. Trust me, many distractions in the form of people will show up, and if you are not disciplined enough to respect yourself, your relationship will crash merrily against the rocks.
2. Keep in touch as much as possible.
Call rates might be high, but so many other platforms for keeping in touch exist. Skype, WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger, and a host of other platforms are available. From personal experience, constant communication with someone is key. When you guys communicate constantly, it strengthens the bond between the both of you and helps you miss the person less (in a good way, oh).
3. Pray for your partner
Yes, pray for your partner’s eyes to be blinded towards other people (lol, just kidding!). Nothing beats talking to God about someone you genuinely care for. You can pour out to feelings towards this person to God, ask him to watch and direct this person’s steps. You can actually pray for him to remain faithful. Praying gives you a sense of comfort.
4. Get busy
Like the Bible says, an idle mind is the devil’s workshop. If you don’t want the devil to direct your thoughts towards doing the wrong things, you must find something to do. Rather than lying in bed all day looking at Segun, Femi or Bola’s picture, go out and actually get things done. If you have a job, focus on your job. If you don’t, read a book or something. Just don’t let the devil put thoughts in your head that could be detrimental to your relationship.
5. Pray for yourself
Praying for just your partner is never really enough, you have to pray for yourself as well. You can pray for the strength to remain faithful, and even for you not to miss him/her too much (I hope that makes sense).
6. See it as an opportunity
View it as a learning journey for the both of you. See it as a test of your love for each other. As the Chinese saying goes, “Real gold is not afraid of the test of fire.” Instead of thinking that this long distance relationship is pulling you two apart, you should believe that through this experience, the both of you will be bound together even stronger.
7. Do similar things
Recommend books, TV shows, movies, music, news and etc. to each other. When you read, watch and listen to the same things, you get to have more topics in common to talk about. This is a good to create some shared experiences even though you are living apart.
8. Visit each other
I know in some cases, visiting is practically impossible, but when you can, please pay visits to one another. After all the waiting, and long periods of being apart, meeting up would be awesome.
9. Trust is key
If you do not trust each other, do trust me when I say your relationship will scatter. Whether your relationship is long-distance or not, trust is very, very, very important. If you feel like you cannot trust your partner enough when they are away from you, problems will definitely arise. Ensure that your relationship is built on serious trust, or it WILL end badly.
10. Make Up Your Mind To Wait
Like I have said, long distance relationship requires a lot of hard work to maintain, so you have to count the cost and make up your mind that you are ready to see it through. If you don’t make up your mind, trust me, you’ll see every reason to quit the relationship.
Long-distance relationships require a lot of hard work and commitment to make them work, but if you believe you can handle being in a long-distance relationship, then my sister/brother go ahead and enjoy it.
Take note that these points could also appeal to people in relationships where both participants are in close proximity to each other.
If you have any comment or point to add to these listed above, please feel free to include them in the comment section below. I really do look forward to hearing from you.