I wonder what the point of a wedding vow is anymore. A vow is supposed to be a solemn pledge, a promise. I’ll like to call it “an oath” but not anymore. It has been reduced to a recitation. Something to run over so as to run to the much-anticipated “you may kiss the bride”.
The first time I saw the statistics of the rate of divorce in the United State, it was a joke to me. 50% of every first marriage ends up in a divorce, 70% of second marriages go the same way. It keeps increasing with every additional marriage. Meaning once you get it wrong the first time, the chance of getting it right afterwards is practically impossible.
I almost doubted the fact that the phrase “till death do us part” or “as long as we both shall live” actually ends the marriage vow so much that I had to check it out.
Here is the commonest sample of a Marriage Vow.
“I _____, take you ______, to be my wedded wife/husband. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish ’till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness.”
If today’s youth are given a chance to re-write the marriage vow, it will go like this;
“I _____, take you ______, to be my wedded wife/husband. To tolerate and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for richer, in health, to be loved and to be cherished ’till we lose the spark. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness.”
But on second thought, I don’t really blame them, since there is nothing special about the marriage ceremony anymore; at least they have been living together for two years before their parents finally forced them to act like mature people, and thereby fulfilling all righteousness. Or since they are both on the same high social strata celebrated by myopic youths, earning almost the same digits and not planning on starting a family, there is nothing wrong with the idea of getting married at least to evade the media criticizing fangs.
Consequently, the idea of separating when things seem not to work out doesn’t sound bad anymore. At least they came together to see if it will work out in the first place. If you ask them what the vow they said means to them they’ll simply scratch their head and blurt out “what vows?”
I guess it doesn’t mean anything to us anymore. We want it as long as it fits our selfish interest. I can keep writing on this issue expressing my anger but instead, I’ll just give you guys a few advice.
To the ladies;
- If all he loves you for are your curves, then be sincere with yourself. What happens when that curves start sagging after the first baby? Or he meets a better curve bearing creature in his place of work? Exactly, I guessed as much.
- Dear girlfriend, listen to the inaudible statements he is making, so you don’t get married and be faced with the worst shock of your life when the traces were there all the while. For instance, you’ll end up crying that you didn’t know he was hot-tempered as if you didn’t see him hit the small boy who mistakenly poured a glass of juice on his Italian handmade tux.
- Take this from Tolulope, more than 50% of guys don’t know what they want or better put are not sure of their feelings. So if you make things too easy or you get faster at telling them your feelings, you have practically truncated their decision-making process, helping them jump into conclusion without even considering otherwise.
- You can never be wrong waiting. Be patient.
To the dudes
- Stop seeing ladies as an object to be used, she’s priceless and meant to be treasured.
- There is more to a lady than her looks, be wise.
- Use your head. Guys have the tendency of thinking with their heart or with the organ below their hip once they are in love, so they ignore the obvious thereby falling into a ditch with eyes wide open.
- Be patient. You will realise that a relationship is not a competition the moment the goddess you were gunning for turns out to be a witch under your roof.
Enough has been said already. I believe we can change that statistic for the better by doing it right. Meaning every word of that vow. Marriages are not meant to be all rosy, one without storms but instead, they are supposed to be worked out to perfection.